somebody... help me please...

[somebodyhelpme]

I fell in love, and broke it.

It is so hard to type but:
I had a semi-ranged relationship with a girl that I have been dreaming about since i was 7, im 17 now. I fell in love with her at first sight. im an arrogant ******* though... her one friend was saying bad stuff about her, and he loves her as well... so i stood up for her in a peaceful way, yet with strength, eventually... i found out that he was a satanist... another reason to hate him right? i am a devout Christian... but the next day my gf starts yelling at me for A. being an ******* to her "friend" and B. she was a satanist... and she hates my prejudice. i love God... i love her... even though she now hates me more than anything... i wanted to prevent her from being harmed... and now she's crying... its all my fault... i love her so much that if there was someone better than me who would love her and protect her more than i could i would give her up... i wrote poem after poem about her... i love her more than anything... i am so confused and hurt... i realized also my "stubborn" personality has driven other friends away before... and i am emotionally attatched to somethings... and im emotionally detatched from everything else... i love her... but now i am so confused... i can't think straight... my hands barely want to type, but im forcing them to... please... somebody... im being literal when i say that in one hand i hold a knife, and the other a Bible... i love God... but the knife is looking so friendly

MY HEAD IS HURTING! SOMEBODY HELP! i don't have anyone else to turn to, except some minor friends... but they aren't even online... my parents don't give a damn about my life... and you could say that God raised me to be who i am... my head is swirling and im gonna be sick, please respond quickly... if you have AIM, my screen name is blackpyrofire

please would someone tell me how to feel? i feel sick and wounded... please anybody... how should i feel? what should i do? anything is helpful at this point because my mind is a wreck... everyone comes to hate me over time... it never stops... im cursed or something...

[CAM]

Well, it is kind of difficult to love someone who doesn't share your belief system. You say that "she was a Satanist..." Now, she's not? That part is kind of strange. I mean, if you are a Christian, you can't really be tolerant of unbiased about Satan. Kind of an impasse, you know...

I would try to take a deep breath and put your pain behind you because it just doesn't sound like it would work out. You also seem to have a few emotional issues to work through.

Nobody is to blame. It just wouldn't work out.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Fiba80YVyM"]YouTube- Broadcast Yourself.[/ame]

[azilin]

I don't understand what a "semi-ranged" relationship is. Do you mean "arranged"? That is outside my cultural experience, so I can't speak to it.

What I can see is that there's a lot going on here at once. Your first love, jealousy, clash of religions and ideologies. Of course you're confused. However ... I can tell you that I've seen this all before, in my life and in the lives of others, and you WILL get through it. You are not the first person this has happened to, and you won't be the last.

You make a false choice between God and death. The only choice is between choosing to adapt to life as it actually is, or suffering because you wish it were different.

All suffering comes from insisting on the outcomes you want. You've been obsessed for 10 years with this girl, and have thus created a situation where the only possible way for you to be happy is if she responds to you as you wish. The only problem is that she is a human being with her own free will. You can't make her respond one way or another. It's up to her. She gets to decide whether or not she likes you, and she may even make that decision for reasons you can't agree with, or that aren't rational. In fact, she's a woman -- I guarantee you she won't be rational. Especially not at her age.

You also can't do anything about the existence of your romantic rival. He gets to decide what and who he's interested in, too, and for whatever reasons he fancies. Both he and the girl get to decide what they believe, too. You can argue about it, judge it, hate it -- but it still is what it is.

All of life is like this. Life just is what it insists on being, and very seldom is it what you wish it would be. And even when it's to your liking, it's subject to change, and nearly always does change. You are distraught because a living girl is angry at you -- and probably just for a day or two, even though she has, in typical womanly fashion, probably said horrible things that suggest she will always consider you the scum of the earth. Hint: she lies. She's just getting in some early practice at what's called "twisting the knife".

Now imagine this hadn't happened, that she became your wife, contracted a horrible illness, and died slowly over a period of years, and you were powerless to do anything useful about it, or even ease her pain. Well -- that is exactly what happened to me. And here I am, sitting at my computer late at night, and giving advice to the lovelorn. So you see, it could be worse. Much worse.

You need to become flexible and learn to adjust to life as it actually is. Because trust me, it will not only refuse to adjust to you -- it will become downright hostile toward you if you fight it.

[somebodyhelpme]

i talked this all over with my friend... thanks for caring though... i will always miss her...

your forum was the most helpful to solve this problem, take pride in your knowledge, for you really helped me out...