I have come to my home country after a long period of time to continue my studies. Here I met the most wonderful girl on the face of the earth. I was introduced to her by my brother who happens to also like her. She is a complex and beautiful being. When I look at her my day sudenly becomes brighter, my heart leaps with joy, all my muscles relax. She has large deep expresive green eyes that I could stare at for eternity. Her skin is soft like silk, her touch is gentle and warm. I fell in love the second I got to know a bit about her, and she did too. She is (or was) a very close friend to my brother and they are hardly seperated, if I'm going out with her, he comes too. We didn't have much time alone yet we still got very close. We held hands, hugged most of the time we were together, we spoke our minds, we laughed, we discussed all our problems, life plans, it was heavenly bliss. One week my brother got very sick and could not get out of the house. Every night I was alone with her and every night we got a bit closer. We forgot all our troubles, it was perfect, for both of us. I will remember thouse nights until I die. On the third night we sat so close, my face on hers, I could feel her hot breath on me, her fine lips on mine as we talked, It was like the moment before a kiss that lasted the whole night. I never wanted to let her go. The next night we sat in a remote place, we talked, although not as much as the other nights. At one point she said "Let's leave before I do something we will both regret" and I told her to stay, she told me to leave a few more times until she gave up trying. She got close and kissed me. I pulled away after about 30 seconds with thoughts rushing through my mind. Her face was flushed, she looked dissapointed in some way and with a low, quiet voice she said "Let's leave". When we were going to part she grabs my face iwht both hands and sais "It can remain like this between us", and I sincearly wanted that to be true. The next day we did not talk until about 1 in the morning, when I told her how I feel. She wanted me. The next day we go out with a few friends which all leave quickly and we remain alone again. We go find a bench in a park. We sit on the opposide corners of the bench, not talking, not looking at each other. I am lost in thought, I want to cry, how could this happen? She comes near me and asks me if I'm alright and I reply with a simple "Nothing's wrong". She then tries to kiss me but I refuse saying that it would only do us worse. She is quit for a bit, then our moods lighten up. We talk. She gets close and starts kissing me on the neck, then on my cheek, forehead, then down again, she gets closer to the mouth and then moves off to my neck again. Then she kisses me. I.. indulge myself.. We kiss for about 4 hours, we laugh, we talk about our relationship. The twist I forgot to mention becuase of my stupidity is that she has a boyfriend, they have been dating for about two years. We leave by taxi, kiss goodnight and get home. She then avoids me for the next few days, sais sorry for what has happened, she shouldn't have let her feelings show. My life takes a downward tumble through a valley of razer sharp thorns and right into a puddle of lemon juice. I want to live the rest of my life with her, I want to have kids, a house, a cat. I want to wake up to her beside me, see her smile. The smile that takes all my troubles away. I havn't felt as strong for anybody in my life, not even family members. She is the first person who has heard me say "I love you". Please help me. It hurts too much, I feel like a ghost, I feel dead. Her kiss is the last on my lips and it will remain that way. I need help. If you want more details on the situation please send me a message.