Suspicious Partner Guilty Themselves?

[shheadz]

I've read a lot of posts here from people complaining their SO is always suspicious of them. Always afraid they might be cheating on them, and going far enough to snoop through cell phones, email, etc.

I'm sure some of it can be chalked up to insecurities, but it makes me wonder.. Can a partner's suspiciousness be attributed to their own guilt over cheating? If one partner is cheating on the other, would they assume their other is doing the same? Is that a common situation?

[Chupacabras]

Yes, a lot of the time cheaters project all over their SO's.

Sometimes it is just insecurity though.

[bluesummer]

Yes and no.

In my previous situation, my ex was constantly accusing me of cheating or suspicious when I went out to clubs without him. He was cheating on me the whole time.

I used to snoop through his text msgs, email and call lists. That's because I'd already caught him cheating on me once, and he used to get pissed off when I asked him why he would go out with his 'buddies', turn off his phone, and not come home until 7 am. I felt I had the right because he'd already been proven a liar. Turns out he was cheating again.

However, I was younger and inexperienced then. I wouldn't bother with the accusations and the snooping anymore. If they were acting shady or lied about stuff like that even once, it would be a simple GTFO.

[Gigabitch]

I'm suspicious and hypervigilant and I'm not a cheater. Some people are just like that.

[whaywardj]

IMHO, has mostly to do one's self-consciousness. Unsure of yourself in fundamental ways = high suspicion. Comfortable in your own skin = live and let live.

[shheadz]

I was just curious. My ex would openly snoop through my email, IMs, cell phone, etc.. I actually thought it was kind of cute. For her part, I know it was just insecurities, but after reading a lot of the posts here, it got me to thinking about past relationships, and what to expect from future relationships.

Funny story: She was snooping through my IMs, and read me say something like "I plan on playing with Cassandra tonight". She got pretty upset about that. I had to laugh when she told me though. I'm a software developer, and Cassandra is the name of a software project. I literally planned on playing around with it a bit that night to figure out how it worked. Man I just laughed at her for 10 minutes straight. It was a dick thing to do, but it was funny as hell, and she laughed about it too.

[chrisy]

I am like Gigabitch when I'm in a relationship - and I am 100% loyal. I have never cheated - it's just not my thing.