Why do men talk about other women...??

[Sanctuary]

That guy is way too comfortable with you and he's also a bit rude. I don't think he realizes how insensitive he's being. Not all all guys are this daft though.

[Carmen]

I understand how you feel and that it can be hard to ignore his comments but, look at it this way, he is probably mentioning other women because he wants you to reasure that you want him, not necessarily because he thinks these women are better than you. So when he starts his little game look at him like you would look at a child desperate for your attention and you may even feel sorry for him, for him being so insecure with himself. When you are able to see it this way you'll gain your power back and you won't be bothered by his silly comments anymore. By the way you write you seem like a pretty smart woman so I don't doubt that you can take care of this situation and put him in his place.

[lahnnabell]

Honestly I think some people completely lack the power of introspection, or they're unable to act on their personal observations. They rarely if ever take the time to step back, and examine their life, the people in their life, how they're treating those people, where they're going in life, their personality flaws, etc.

Clearly introspection -- or self-awareness as you put it -- is an important part of personal growth. You can't change the flaws in your life (or yourself) until you're aware those flaws exist.

Your boyfriend will never stop acting like a child until he stops to think about how he's treating you, and that may never happen. Talking to him about it may not help either. It may take a shock to his system.. from you breaking up with him.. for him to finally stop and think about how he's been treating you, and how much you mean to him. Even then that might not happen. If he's really stubborn, and stuck in old belief systems, he'll just think you're a b*tch, and move onto the next girl.

I completely agree with this. I have spent years honing my approach to relationships by constantly looking at what I do/do not bring to the table. In the 10 years I've been in and out of relationships, I have learned to pick my battles, quell my own anxiety, stand up for my needs, and deal with some pretty f'd up dudes. I've dated at least two bipolar men (something they refused to acknowledge or even seek help for) and they ended up becoming very emotionally and verbally abusive relationships.

The guy I'm with now is just as introspective as I am. He's screwed up his fair share of relationships due to insecurities and personal issues, but over time he really took a look at his behavior and how it was hurting people. He began to cut all the poisonous people out of his life and work on bettering himself for the long run. By the time he met me he was ready for a new relationship, and to treat me as I deserved. He never hesitates to remind me of how much he adores me. But he took him going through a world of personal sh*t to be able to do that.

[IndiReloaded]

I can't stand this lack of common courtesy. I don't like it because it makes me feel bad. He is constantly saying: this "beautiful woman" and that "beautiful woman" & on & on... and when I tell him it makes me feel bad I'm accused of being "insecure" and that I shouldn't be insecure because I'm beautiful.

He's insensitive and possibly selfish and manipulative. You told him it bothered you but he makes it your problem and refuses to change. Is it really a hardship to him to not mention other women so overtly?

Your instinct is to dump him. I think your instinct is correct. Find someone more respectful.