Please just need some advice

[Zehx]

Shes gone on vacation right now for 3 weeks and we both 23

I am a little confused. When I talk to my girlfriend she just doesnt seem as excited to talk to me. I am not sure if it is me, but I dont feel like she talks about the future as much, we used to talk about getting engaged. She asks me if im okay all the time and says she feels distant and is afraid we are going to drift and calls me 3x a day just to talk.

I don't really understand she seems to worry about us and us drifting. However she doesnt act affectionate, she doesnt talk about us, occasionally she will tell me how she is more than content with me, and wants to be with me forever. Yet she doesnt act like it, and its been going on for months.

I dont get it. I was going to ask her a serious question, pop the question. Now it doesnt seem like she is near as excited about it as me, we have talked about it before she has told me she is ready, yet now were in a dead zone, no talking about it, no excitement for months. I need a little encouragement to make a big decision like that and her acting unexcited kills it.

Maybe I am missing something, anyone?

[Zehx]

I am so frustrated that I dont understand her. Why after we talk about marriage is she like that..

I can add that she was having a bad day once and we brought up getting engaged and she said well maybe we should wait untill we are sure sure. and not just sure.

Then she spent the rest of 3 days apologizing to me for that and saying she wishes more than anything she could take it back and wish she hadnt said it and its opposite of how she feels.

does that help at all figuring this out ?

[Spring Haze]

You can discuss future plans concerning the major commitment of marriage, yet you seem to be unable to communicate your present dilemma.

No mention of you communicating is revealed in your posts. So if you haven't, do it.

[Zehx]

I took your advice and communicated but I feel like I am being insecure when I communicate and talk about nervousness
when it comes to being married. I told her I have never done this before, and I am the first from my family as she is
the last from hers. I feel like its a big decision and i am nervous about it and we talked about it and everything seems
to be okay, but I feel like I probably sounded insecure.

I don't think so but I feel like whenever I talk about emotions that I am being insecure and giving to much and that it will overwhelm here
am I even being rational? I used to be calm and cool and now that I am really in love with her I get nervous that If I talk about things
or act anything but confident that it will be over..

[Spring Haze]

The marriage talk is almost secondary. It would probably be best if you told her about you perceiving her as distant, her lack of excitement, etc. Get to the bottom of how she feels, and let her know in turn, how your perceptions driven by her actions cause you to feel.

You are talking about marriage to a woman who you are putting up a facade with. Sticking with someone, whether it's her or another means your defenses must come down eventually. Don't get married until you are willing to be authentic and aren't fearful of "overwhelming" your partner with pertinent issues. And if your fear is based around her genuinely being overwhelmed, then she has some work to do as well.

[Zehx]

That make sense, thank you.