Why doesn't she like it?

[wizardox]

Seriously, how does it feel for a girl if your bf massages and kiss your nipples? Does it really feel gross or uncomfortable? I mean if it is really this way, then I could understand that she doesn't like it and that I thought she likes it just because it turns me on.

[sookie6]

Ok,

If She is a grown up woman
If She is in love with you.

Then what you did to her should feel good. It is a fact.She should have enjoyed it..I think she did since she let you get away with it for a while.

I think she has issues. I know you love her. But you should take a step back and think over the relationship...

Why did you stay all this long. Sex is not everything in a relationship but the the intimacy and the trust you develop in a physical relationship is important.
Am gonna ask you a question that you might find bordeline unkind.

Do you feel that she is the only girl who could possibly want you? How do you rate your confidence in finding another relationship?

[noralkk]

It sounds incredible...

[wizardox]

Ok,

If She is a grown up woman
If She is in love with you.

Then what you did to her should feel good. It is a fact.She should have enjoyed it..I think she did since she let you get away with it for a while.

I think she has issues. I know you love her. But you should take a step back and think over the relationship...

Why did you stay all this long. Sex is not everything in a relationship but the the intimacy and the trust you develop in a physical relationship is important.
Am gonna ask you a question that you might find bordeline unkind.

Do you feel that she is the only girl who could possibly want you? How do you rate your confidence in finding another relationship?

Hi Sookie6, your question kind of hit me. To be honest, I am not very confident in getting another girlfriend. I am not the kind of man who get to have a lot of girl friends. Most of my friends are male. And I some times do think that she is the only girl who possibly want me because I have never met a girl this nice to me other than my mum. She is my first girlfriend and I don't wish to screw everything up just because of me being pervertic.

More over, we have been together so long and I can't imagine how my days would be if she left me. On the other hand, this bothers me because I don't understand why she doesn't let me touch her too much. I am worry she is still waiting for her right one while she stays with me for the time being and therefore don't allow me to touch. This would be f.king terrible if it's true. Not that I only have desires recently, but these worries don't come so strong at me back then. And since she rejected me most of the time, I wanted to respect her as much as I could and not to annoy her.

[Jastela]

I honestly dont see how you could go 5 years with no intimate contact. That would really suck. The girl has serious issues.

[JoeyJR]

Looooooooooooooooooooooollll

is it okay to laugh?
LOL

[all alone]

this guy must have to wack off 3 times a day to compensate for 5 yrs of nothing.

[sookie6]

To Wizardox.
Ok I keep reading your posts and feel that there is nothing more we can tell you in order to help you in this particular situation.
Okay your gfriend certainly has a problem cos I doubt she will enjoy sex at all even within mariage.
But you seem to have a few things to sort out yourself.
In my opinion, sex like food is an excellent representation of our general attitude to life and what life has to offer.
I think that to progress in the matter of women and sex you need to re-examine your whole outlook at life.
What makes you happy and how do you want to live.
If this is the way you want to live then fine.
But if you feel unhappy then seek help with more experienced people (even professionals).
You might just need a little push or encouragement to come out of your shell...
I would be interested to know what your closed ones feel about your gfriend. In most cases (not all cases of course), family and friends will see if this person is good for you...or not.
Take care
xx

[wizardox]

My friends do not know about my frustration though some of them ever asked me. But they would always laugh at me when I say I have never had sex with my gf. They would either don't believe me or think that I am stupid and laugh at me. I never told them before that it was my gf who doesn't want because I didn't want her to look bad in front of others. I would rather I get laughed at than her because it would look very bad on a girl than a man. So for now, I wouldn't know how my friends would feel if she is good for me.

There is another question that pops up in my mind while I was reading a reply that says that gf should understand that man has his needs too. If your bf tells you that he wants to have sex with you because he has the desire to do so, would you go ahead and understand him? Wouldn't you think how about those guys who have no gf yet? Aren't they going to die without having someone making up to them. They still live. Would you feel very unrespected?

[sookie6]

There is something that you do not seem to understand here.

Us women have sexual needs too. Most of us do not want to remain virgins eternally!!!

In a relationship sex is part of the picture. It is a logical development of any relationship. People stay together when they have found the right match. Some couples have a low libido, some have a very active sexual life. But when one is dissatisfied problems begin crawling up..FACT!!!

I know religious people who are engaged and waiting for their mariage to do the deed. I can tell you that this wait is torture for the man AND the girl. And the women don't blame their man for trying once in a while. They actually feel desired...that's what we want from our partner.

I have not heard yet of a platonic relationship going on for so long especially when your girlfriend is giving you no sign that you will one day be able to enjoy a fulfulling relationship...

At this point and at such a young age, I would say RUN! She is blackmailing you and manipulating you making you believe that you are a perv!!!
I can't believe you are falling for this.

Come on ! do something for yourself in 2010!!!

xxxx

[Daniela]

this is what i can think of..

she's either waiting till marriage or till she's engaged or she's putting it off cos she's scared of something. scared of doing it for the first time, maybe she's heard something thats putting her off it, scared if someone like her parents find out that she's having sex or she could even be scared if she has been molested or something in the past.. i definitely think something is bothering her and i don't think its really got to do with u personally..

i don't think this behaviour is normal for a 23 year old but then again everyone's different and have different beliefs..

have u tried talking to her about having sex??

[shheadz]

Just curious, but have you asked her why she's so apposed to sex.. or hell.. any kind of intimate contact? Don't let her pull the "It's perverted" nonsense. Stand your ground, and explain that it's not. It's normal, and it's healthy.

[ladyluna85]

lol i smell troll lol......something is wrong with her!.....5 years dating lol....

[wizardox]

To sookie6, thanks for your replies. I am starting to see some light. Wouldn't you mean like all couples have sex even before they get married? You are quite right that it is a torture to not have any kind of intimacy but what about those who are singles? Aren't they going to feel like dying? They still live and why can't me, who at least has a girl whom I could be with? So does this sound like it is just me being horny all the stupid time? I think my girlfriend probably find me pervertic in this sense.

We don't have sex but we kiss, hold hands, have fun together, anything couples do less sex and touching of sensitive areas. We are a couple. Does my relationship sound like a platonic one? I thought platonic are for friendships between a male and female who don't have any intimacy?

To Daniela and shheadz, I don't know how to actually "talk to her about having sex". I doubt she would listen and may slap me hard. I had talked to her before like if she has desires but she avoids me and gets irritated whenever I mention anything related to physical intimacy. She would get angry and keeps quiet all the way until I change my topic. I told her before that it is healthy and normal but she insisted that was all excuses for my lust. I need a way to show her that I did that not because of lust but love. I don't know how girls see between lust and love. I admit I do feel like an urge to be intimate with her but don't know if it is lust. I don't want myself to lie to her and so I am holding back myself most of the time. At the same time, seeing her just makes me want to hug her and feel her. It is so contradicting and crazy man.

[shheadz]

I need a way to show her that I did that not because of lust but love.

Nonsense. You don't grab a girl's breasts out of love. That's lust pure and simple, and once again.. there's nothing wrong with that. I don't know what else to tell you. I don't know why she's afraid of intimacy. Is she religious? Was she sexually abused as a child? I don't know. But I do know you're total p*ssy whipped. So much so that you're blaming yourself for her shortcomings, and denying yourself the opportunity to have a healthy relationship with another girl.