I think I am in love w/ my best friend....

[SarahJaine]

Hi, I am 23, currently in a relationship, but i think i am in love with my best friend.....

Ok well my best friend is a guy. He and I have been best friends since I was six. He liked me from the time we met all way through high school. At one point when we were kids I wrote him a letter saying how I wanted to be with him, but someone found it and I denied the whole thing. I hated being made fun. So I never told him how I felt. We were each others first kiss. He wasn’t afraid to masturbate when I was around and I didn’t mind that he did. Till this day it is still like that. He always seems to be horny when I am around him. He has tried many times to get me to sleep with him. I don’t get to seem him often because I don’t live in the same town anymore, but when I see him and were alone he is like this, he always ask me to sleep with him, even if he is dating someone.

I started dating a guy when I was 16. He broke up with me in the second year. It was for like a month or two and then he came back. I thought that I wanted him, that it didn’t matter that he left me for someone. I thought I could forget that it all happened. Four years later and I am still with him and not happy. I try to forget but can’t he has hurt me several times later. I found out that he was still talking to her on the pone. I found aim and myspace conversations. I had all my shit packed and ready to move out but he convinced me that he was sorry and didn’t want me to go. I stayed, stupid that I did. I don’t even feel connected to him. I don’t really don’t like when he touches me most of the time. I never want to sleep with him. I only do it because if I don’t there will be an argument. I finally went to him and told him that I wasn’t happy something has to change or I have go. He said he was unhappy to. So I moved in with my sister. We decided to stay dating just live separately. …to be quite honest I think I was more afraid to be alone. It so difficult I don’t know how to tell him I don’t want to be with him.

The only thing I have never told my best friend was that I have been unhappy for a long time or about all the incidents that happened between my boyfriend and I. I just recently told him that I have been unhappy, that there has been times when I wished I weren’t even here. He said he was sorry to hear that and that he is always here for me. I think about him all the time. I dream about him just about every night. ….I went to one of his party’s last week and once the party was over I went back to his parents to sleep. He lives up stairs in the garage. He came into the house and he was talking to me didn’t seem like he was drunk. He hugged me and then we were looking at each other and then we started kissing. He asked me to sleep with him. I told him we couldn’t. He said to me “you know you want to” “I replied I do, but we can’t.” Kayla is up stairs, which is his girlfriend for that past two years. He put head down and sighed with a reply "I know." I told him he should go back up stairs. ..…I asked him yesterday if he remembers everything from that night. He said he remembered some of it. So I don’t know if he remembers what was going on between us. I always feel a deep connection with him. I think that it is there for him to. when he looks at me I just have the strong feeling like something is there.

I think I am in love with him; I don’t know if I should tell him. I don’t know he loves me too. Sometimes I feel like he does, but I just don’t know.

…I just don’t know what to do.

[CAM]

If he loved you, he wouldn't use the "Let's ****" approach. That's kind of tacky.

[lahnnabell]

I think you are only thinking about this right now because of how unhappy you are with your boyfriend. Your best friend doesn't seem to have much respect for any woman he dates if he keeps asking you for sex. Do you think that because you guys have such a history that he'd act any differently towards you? I wouldn't bet on it.

[SarahJaine]

see that's kinda what i was wondering, if he just used to me and knows i would never tell anyone. but the way he words things that is just is personality.

...it not like he says it when he first sees me. usually he and I will be talking catching up on things and watching movie. he tends to get touchy feely...giving me back rubs smiling at me. then trys to do other things. I can't help but let this happen it feels right. after trying to do other things he says he wants to have sex with me.

[lahnnabell]

He's using all that as a way to get you comfortable around him so you'll be less suspecting. Don't let his very obvious tactics work on you. I know you're enjoying the extra attention. I'd personally wouldn't keep a guy around that had this touchy-feely relationship with any female friend of his.

[SarahJaine]

i definitely know i need to tell my boyfriend i don't want to be with him...not sure how i am going to do that. but as far my friend maybe i should give it time to see....i hate time though. I really think if he and i are best friends then we should just be adults and talk to each other....I don't expect him to leave his girlfriend for me I just need to know if he does have feelings for me.


...no one know how he is around me.

[lahnnabell]

I know no one knows how he is around you, which makes it even worse. You guys lie about what kind of friendship you have so that his girlfriend and your boyfriend won't flip out on you. 'Cause they definitely would. No one wants to know that their significant other has a "best friend" that solicits their boyfriend/girlfriend for sex on a regular basis and offers back rubs and is touchy-feely.

Stop using your boyfriend as a safety net. Be a big girl and tell him you are not happy. Giving your best friend time will do jack shit for your relationship. He's never made a move to commit to you. He figures that he has you coming back to him all the time that it'll only take a bit more coaxing before he has you in bed.

And this best friend of yours is not an adult. His approach toward women and relationships is immature and selfish. You'd have to be stupid to think he has anything more to offer right now.

[SarahJaine]

...i guess you are probably right.

[Charlie Boy II]

He wasn’t afraid to masturbate when I was around and I didn’t mind that he did. Till this day it is still like that. He always seems to be horny when I am around him.

your best friend jerks off in front of you??

[qwertz]

your best friend jerks off in front of you??

that is just weird

[CAM]

He wasn’t afraid to masturbate when I was around and I didn’t mind that he did.

You are couple of animals...Is this the "new generation" of just doing everything with everyone whenever? Must be.

You and your best friend ought to be in a barn somewhere....but definitely kept away from the healthy livestock.