Hello,
This is my first post so first I'll provide some background.
My girlfriend and I have been together for over 1 year now. We met in college and I have since graduated last December while she won't graduate until May '05. So we have only been able to see each other on weekends (we're only about 2 hours apart) so I go up to visit her every weekend that I can. About 75% of our relationship has been over the phone unfortunately, but we've handled it pretty well. We talk every night for about an hour on average and sometimes we run out of things to talk about and we get those akward silences. Usually we don't have a problem, but when you talk every single night for an hour, things are bound to go wrong every once in a while. Sush as someone being in a bad mood for whatever reason, tired, sick, whatever...it can't always be perfect.
Last night we had one of those akward conversations where she got all upset because I was tired from watching election coverage all night and just wanted to go to sleep. My girlfriend is a wonderful person and I love her very much. I always look forward to seeing her every weekend, but I don't look as forward to talking on the phone about our sometimes boring daily lives every single night. As I said, most of the time we don't have a problem. But last night was one of maybe 3 or 4 instances where she got upset and was crying just because I wasn't in a good mood like she was. (She is normally a very cheery person and is ALWAYS happy with a big smile on her face)
I think the underlying problem is that she is too dependant on me for happiness. Whenever we have a bad phone convo she gets upset while I just brush it off because I have learned not to take those little things too seriously especially when we can talk the very next night and totally forget about the previous night...and then we see each other on the weekends and it's all fine.
My question is how do you tell someone that they are too dependant on you for happiness and that it's dangerous to be that way. I always find other things to keep me happy whether it be working out at the gym, playing computer games, or even cooking a good meal. She is very sensitive and I don't want to hurt her feelings. I have no intention of breaking up with her, I just want to tell her that she has to stop being so dependant on me for happiness when I'm not always gonna be in the greatest mood all the time like she is. She takes everything very personally whenever we have an episode like this while I just brush it off. How do I approach this? I plan on bringing it up this weekend when I go up, so I only have 2 days to prepare what I'm gonna say...requesting immediate suggestions