A bad week or is this here forever.

[IndiReloaded]

Dalia, LOL. Don't argue with Eco. She gets on the short bus each morning and wonders why her seatmate always comments on how they can suddenly hear the sound of the ocean...

[Aeradalia]

Hehe Indi...

[Indignant]

Happiness is a frame of mind -- a state of being. It's not something you "have," but is something you have to work towards achieving.

but you mentioned a material thing like a house in order to be happy. what is happiness? how can it be achieved? for me all it might take is a song that i enjoy on a gloomy day to make me happy.

[Indignant]

Ecojeanne... I'm not some kid fresh from highschool... nor am I someone who is so intent on complaining as to miss all the "finer things in life." So, let's refrain from summarily dismissing me as some one dimensional archetype.

This forum does not portray me as accurately as I would appear in real life. Here, my thoughts are more freely expressed, since there is little backlash here. In real life, I do not talk very much, unless it is in the company of friends or on a topic that piques my interest. In all other scenarios, I am courteous, reticent, and thoughtful even toward strangers. I do stop to "appreciate a sunrise" and do remind myself of all that I have.

However, it's not a failure to see what is plainly before me that is the problem. It's the fear that it won't always be there. Somehow I'll lose all that makes me happy... my plans will not come to fruition... I'll be left with nothing -- over and over again. This makes me very protective of what I do have and very, very distrustful of life in general.

Forcing a smile out of the blue does not lighten my mood... instead it references negative memories from long ago. Memories that leave me feeling nervous, embarrassed, and less of a person. There are very few things which do not bring about some sense of fear or anger... and it's very difficult to stop such "avoidance" loops, and learn to trust that things will be different... and maybe even better than the past has shown.

My biggest problem is fear, not lack of appreciation. That is what makes me so unhappy. Fear that at any given moment for any reason... everything will be lost, and I'll be helpless to stop it or prevent it. This irrational fear brings up the idea of "what's the point of even trying?" And the only way to prove that all I'm doing is worthwhile is to stay the course and hope it won't all go away.

I think this forum portrays us EXACTLY how we are in real life.

[Coco]

Wow you both have a good point. I think you have to work to achieve a goal, dream but I think you can find happiness in just about anything that doesn't harm you; example, drugs and things like that.

[Aeradalia]

but you mentioned a material thing like a house in order to be happy. what is happiness? how can it be achieved? for me all it might take is a song that i enjoy on a gloomy day to make me happy.

I mentioned a house as an example of something 'magically' appearing -- not as an example of happiness... reread my post.

Happiness is a state of being... a song on a gloomy day is something used to incite happiness -- it is not happiness itself. I believe you are confusing the key for opening the door. The key (like a song on a gloomy day) is merely an instrument used to cause an event -- the opening of the door (happiness).

I think this forum portrays us EXACTLY how we are in real life.

No... this forum portrays how we innately are... but not as we are in real life. The facade we hold for everyday life is tailored by a balance between necessity, comfort, and a hint of self-respect. In an environment with little or no consequence we tend to not alter ourselves for the sake of necessity/conformity. Here, you glimmer the unrestrained version of people -- not how they would appear if you met them in a store, on the street, or some other public venue.

[IndiReloaded]

No... this forum portrays how we innately are... but not as we are in real life. The facade we hold for everyday life is tailored by a balance between necessity, comfort, and a hint of self-respect. In an environment with little or no consequence we tend to not alter ourselves for the sake of necessity/conformity. Here, you glimmer the unrestrained version of people -- not how they would appear if you met them in a store, on the street, or some other public venue.

Bwhahahaha....

No.

[Indignant]

Aera is in one of those moods lately, no matter what anyone says she'll say the opposite even if she contradicts herself. well, i love you anyway. hopefully this will pass soon.

[Aeradalia]

Bwhahahaha....

No.

Uhm.. yes... I sincerely doubt that most of you have the gall to talk as frankly to a bunch of strangers in real life as you do to a bunch of strangers here.

It's easy enough to make claims that you'd be more brave in real life when there is no way to put your claim to the test.

However, if I get flack for being the only honest one here... so be it.

[IndiReloaded]

Umm. No. You don't understand my post. No worries, Doll.

I'm not talking about bravery, btw, but the portion of your post I highlighted. If you are really curious you can PM me.

[Aeradalia]

Aera is in one of those moods lately, no matter what anyone says she'll say the opposite even if she contradicts herself. well, i love you anyway. hopefully this will pass soon.

What contradiction? Show it.

Actually I'm in a rather good mood today... just negotiated with a local mechanic to reduce the cost of repairs by nearly half... and he's right down the road --- so I won't have to drive 20 miles to reach one in town.

I'm a little excited about tomorrow, which will be a busy day... and if I can pull the strings just right, will greatly improve the quality of my life.

You misread my moods greatly... I rarely get angry, just attentive... a sort of excited aggression I suppose. Something that is fun and brings me a little bit of joy.

[ecojeanne]

well in indi's case; as we all know; she portrays on here who she wants to be in real life but instead comes off as a silly wife of a genius she is jealous of and copies and regurgitates what he says in life on here. Only she doesn't realise that what she says is not all that interesting.

[Indignant]

What contradiction? Show it.

Actually I'm in a rather good mood today... just negotiated with a local mechanic to reduce the cost of repairs by nearly half... and he's right down the road --- so I won't have to drive 20 miles to reach one in town.

I'm a little excited about tomorrow, which will be a busy day... and if I can pull the strings just right, will greatly improve the quality of my life.

You misread my moods greatly... I rarely get angry, just attentive... a sort of excited aggression I suppose. Something that is fun and brings me a little bit of joy.

oh no, i never said you were angry...just not the usual self. usually the are one of the people who makes the most sense without offending anyone ever.

[Aeradalia]

Umm. No. You don't understand my post. No worries, Doll.

I'm not talking about bravery, btw, but the portion of your post I highlighted. If you are really curious you can PM me.

No worries... I reread the post, and got it. Didn't even notice the italicized part.

And yes, you do have a point... what I said would only apply on the assumption that people are being honest. This being the internet.... etc... etc...

[IndiReloaded]

LOL, Eco. My boring posts that you read so carefully....

Back to the short bus, Gormless One! Mbe you'll get laid before month 16 if you can turn the ocean down a bit.