Originally Posted by
cmacattack1
Listen to yourself. I won't give up. She is my entire life. How do I prove to her I changed?
Anything you are doing right now is hurting your chances. She wanted to be done with you and she thought about it for a while. She needs and wants space now. How have you changed in the fact that what you are doing to feed your needs, to take away your pain, to get some comfort from the only person that can make you feel better? Even if right now it hurts to break up with you and by continuing to talk to her you are bringing up the past hurt of the relationship? This is about as selfish as you can get.
Cliche catch phrase 1: She is going to feel how she feels and there is absolutely nothing you can do or say to change that. She doesn't feel like being in a relationship with you. No letters, no talking, no chasing her down, no text messages is going to change her mind now. It's making it worse for you because the last thing she will remember of you right before you guys stop talking (and eventually you will), it will be you being needy as hell. Neediness is not attractive and you know this, so why would it bring her back? The more you chase her, the farther you are pushing her away.
This is a good time to really sit down and think about what things you did wrong in the relationship. And you identified them. Now you have to work on fixing those things. Why do you feel the need to prove them to somebody? Telling her "Hey look, look at me, look at me, I'm different" screams nothing has changed. If you have changed as a person, she would know based on your demeanor. More importantly, you wouldn't feel the need to prove them. She would know, it's recognizable to anybody that knows you. And who doesn't know you more intimately than your ex?
I know it feels like there is some last ditch effort to help fix things. But you have to understand: there is nothing you can do about it to make her want to come back to you. All you can do is increase your odds. You do this by working on yourself. A new and better you will be more desireable. You do this also by leaving her the hell alone. Make her miss you. How is she going to miss you when you are constantly showering her with attention, and unwanted attention at that. It's a weak, pathetic feeling but it is what it is.
You have to want to work on yourself for you though. Working on it for her will not get you far and you will crash and fold and want to talk to her again. None of this 2 or 3 week shit. You need to hold out as long as it takes until she's the one to contact you. Do you understand that she has to want to, and not be talked into it or poked and prodded by you. And even if she does, don't blow your cover. She has to want to start a relationship with you for it to work and it has to come of her own volition. You increase your odds by being that cool and calm changed person that you strive to be and not that person that would throw himself at her feet.
This is not about you guys anymore. Do not think in terms of that and in terms of getting back together. It didn't work the first time and why would you want to get back together and think it will be different? You have to want to start something new and it won't happen this early on. You think you have changed but you are still emotional and feeling this need for her. You do not need her to be happy. You really have to accept and understand this concept. No one person should be in control of this, you are in control of this. To be so dependant on another person makes you weak. No guarentees that they will be there for you, and when they aren't, you cannot be crippled. What you need to do is want to be with them because they make you more happy, not because you need them and can't live life without them because its pathetic and sad. There is a big difference.