What is she thinking?

[georged]

Ok, so 2 weeks ago, my girlfriend of 2years dropped a bombshell on me. We were engaged, lived together and everything appeared rosy. Then she suddenly turned round after Christmas and said she did not know if she wanted to be with me any more and left me. We had not argued and there were no warning signs.

Talking to her after, she said that she felt that she was not ready to get married and settle down have kids etc. Apart from that, she said that our relationship was good. I have told her that those things can be put off until whenever she wants and we can take things slowly.

Since we split, she has said that she thinks we may be able to work things out. I get a lot of "I miss you" texts and, when asked if she thinks we can work this out she says "Yeah, probably". When talks have gone well and I asked if we could get back together, she has said "Not yet but soon". We met up this evening and had a great time and she told me we should meet again later this week, but I am still in limbo. I think she just wanted a bit of space - am I being stupid or just impatient? How should I act and what should I say? I really want to work this out!! She has had plenty of opportunities to say it is definitely over but has not done?

[stevejohnson197]

are you sure there isnt another man involved? this sound eerily similar to what has happened to me. turned out she fell for another dude and acted on it....

[shheadz]

To me it sounds like she's slowing the relationship down, but not ending it. Women some how seem more in tune with what they need, and what the relationship needs. So I think you should just roll with it for now, and enjoy each others company like you're a fresh new couple.

[georged]

Shheadz - thanks for that.

We met up last night for the first time and went to the pub and just sat and played quiz machines (not overly exciting but still...). We just laughed and joked and had a great time. We chatted about al sorts but didn't mention the relationship, as I didn't want to pressure her. Had it been a real first date I would have said it went brilliantly!!!

She texted me later and said "Today was lovely. x" which I thought was really positive. However, nearly 6pm now and not heard anything from her today. I haven't made contact with her though as want her to initiate it.

Does that sound positive or what should I think?

With reference to another man, I honestly think not. I have talked about that a number of times and she has sworn blind there isn't - and I tend to believe her.

[shheadz]

I wouldn't have any reason to think there's another guy. It's not out of the realm of possibility, but seems doubtful. She's still hanging out with you, and texting you sweet messages.

Don't be afraid to text her back. If she said she had a lovely evening, you could have/should have responded. The ball is in her court, but it's not going to hurt you to flirt a bit. Remember, treat it like a fresh new relationship. Flirt a little bit, and don't play too many games. It sounds like she wants things to be light hearted and fun for now, so roll with it. Make it fun for her.