How Can I Start Things Off On Facebook?

[Neomic]

I've had a thing for this girl since my Freshman year of high school in 2004. Her and I were friends, but she had a boyfriend then. I wasn't very confident then either. I ended up transferring schools, so we kind of lost contact since she didn't have a computer at the time.

I seen her out with her ex-boyfriend last year at dinner, I was with a friend of mine. When I got home, she had messaged me on Facebook saying "Hey! I think I seen you at Wendy's earlier, but I wasn't for sure it was you!", so I replied back "Yeah, it was me. I would've came and said 'hi', but I didn't wanna interrupt ", and she replied back "I knew it was you!!! You totally should've!"

I comment on her Facebook statuses occasionally, and she does the same to mine. That's about the only communication we have at the moment. Facebook seems like my only option to approach her since I've seen her one-time in 6 years. I don't know how I should "approach" her, and start off the first conversation without it being too random. and sounding too interested, I know that's a big no-no, so I have no idea how to go about this.

[MetalPhoenix]

Perhaps you can suggest you get together to talk. Just casual catching up, see what going on in each other's life.

[Neomic]

I want to have a few conversations with her first. My problem is just opening up that first conversation, I have no idea how to do it without it being random and seeming like I'm too interested.

[denvy]

Well if I were you I`d chat with her through skype if you dont know what is it then google it ...
for the first conversation ask her how does she like skype and tell her that its easier for you to get in touch with her like this
then ask about how`s her work or studies or whatever then ask her to the cinema say that you really want to watch a movie but you dont have anyone to go with....
you shouldnt be that worried she`s most likely interested in you if she weren`t she wouldn`t even bother writing to you.....

[n/a]

Hey there,

I've had similar situations, and in the past I did exactly what you are trying to prevent. I mean I came on too strong. Honestly, it is hard to gauge exactly how strong someone is coming on via-web.

What I did was start an open ended conversation that involved something everyone can relate to. For instance:

"Been to any good shows lately?"

"Oh really? Is that the type of music you are into?"

"You might enjoy seeing this local band I've seen once or twice."

Alternately, you can offer to meet up for coffee and a board or card game that is not so stategicaly intensive. Like double-six dominoes. If you have a local cafe that has a jukebox or plays its own playlists invite her to go there simply to catch up.

By all means, invite her into a real life environment before you come on at all. You will get to exchange phone numbers and have an opportunity to offer a future meeting that leaves a bolder impression than an internet message.That's just how I've been successful, and why I believe it has worked in these similar circumstances.

Hope that helps some.

[sookie6]

I agree with n/a. You need to meet with her in a real life environment asap otherwise you'll likely fall into an artificial relationship and that's not what you want.

You could try to invite her to a social events with casual friends...a good mix of boys and girls so that it does not look like you coming on too strong. Get to know her better there and try to get some clues as to whether she likes you or not...

[vnderdosed]

Maybe you can try getting her msn? If you can't, try keep talking on Facebook. I would, though, try and take the relationship back face-to-face. Try and get to know her again on the net, then maybe organise meeting out somewhere for a few hours? I think that if you keep the relationship over the net, it might not really go anywhere, and if it did, it might not be the best situation, because eventually you would need to see each other face-to-face for things to get further. Ease into it over the net, drop conversation about meeting up and see how it goes, maybe? c: