how do i get her back? im hurting

[Mike1024]

ok so i dated a girl for 3 years. like any other couple we had or problesm, some break ups and fights, but we've always loved each other more than anythng and never been apart long. November we broke up and stopped talking because we said some hurtful things to each other, i called her the c word which i never thought id hear myself say.... xmas day we started talking again and she was liking another guy, but because of the love we shared she was kinda giving me another shot. we hung out, made love a few times, and jsut had amazing times while i was home. then 2 weeks later a guy lied to her to get back at me, and told her i cheated on her a few times when i didnt. she believed him and shes never met the guy and hes in a different state, and so things got sour. ive been trying my hardest to prove myself and ive been doing good. but one day i saw that her and the other guy had started dating, and she had never told me, and i thought we were actually getting better. now she is saying we cant talk any because she wants to be loyal to him, but she says she loves me. she is the love of my life and i would die for her without even thinkining about it. how do i get her back? i go to school in a different state but we made it work last year and the first semester this year. she has trouble trusting me which is one of the problems, but i really dont do anything. how do i get her back? i cant stand to see her with a new guy and know that shes kissing him. please help me, and dont say move on, cause i know shes the one.

[Mike1024]

anyone please?

[VincenzoG91]

There can't be love where there isn't trust. When some guy that she has never met told her that you were cheating on her, she trusted him more than she trusts you. If you have never given her reason to doubt you before, then she's being unfair, but the bottom line is that she doesn't trust you. The distance involved in this relationship was a definite problem, because an insecure person can easily imagine cheating in that situation.

I know that you don't want to hear it, but you should move on. You could quit school and move back, but that would definitely mess up your education with no guarantee that it would make any difference with her. Or you could stay where you are, stay on track with your education, and try dating women who are near you. Unless there is something uniquely wrong with you, there are probably numerous other women that you would be compatible with, if only you gave them a try.

[Mike1024]

well things is my school is 18% female, and all unattractive, and the usrrounding area is pretty much the same. i have given her a few reasons before not to trust me but in the past year i havent. its just that we were still talking and working things out and then out of nowhere she starts dating this guy without telling me, and then when i find out she says we cant talk cause she must be loyal to him... even though she was tallking to me before i found out.

[IncognitoSir]

Not to beat a dead horse hear, but you MUST realize, that trust is the foundation of every successful relationship. That's what you have to rebuild. I don't know how you could work on you guys trust issues all while: she dating someone else, you both live currently in separate states, SHE DOES NOT TRUST YOU, and you have given her reasons not to trust you. unfortunately, the negative completely outweighs the positive here man. You need to take some time and evaluate the situation. Look at it from a logical POV, from the outside looking in so to say.