"I need to figure myself out"

[bt88]

When a girl says that, is that the kiss of death or could it actually be legit?

Long story short I was involved with a girl who told me she had a crush on me or 10 years. We "dated" after she broke up with her boyfriend of 5 years. Then she found he was cheating on her the whole time and she told me she needs time to figure herself out. Was I just her rebound guy or is there a chance if I do give her her space she'll come back around?

[sookie6]

I'd say 50/50 on this one.

Tell her you're here for her if she needs to talk and then back off with no contact whatsoever.

She might come back she might not. IN the meantime, detach yourself from her and move on with your life.

[Hillbilly]

Ive had that line used on me...it usually means I dont want anyone right now. sookie is right.,leave the door open by offering to be there if she needs to talk.

[bt88]

Thanks for the replies. The thing is she was very affectionate with me when we were hanging out after her break up. She told me things like "youre amazing" and made it seem like something was going on. I just dont know how she could go from being so into me to backing off so quickly, especially if shes been holding onto feelings for me for 10 years.

[starbuck]

It's probably just a timing thing, BT. Definitely give her the space she needs. She'll respect you for it whether she comes back around or not.

[tufty]

make sure she knows you are into her, then back off, tell her you will be there for her when she needs you as a friend and let her take all the time she needs.

It is one hell of a shock to find out ur ex was cheating on u for 5 years. she will be in moarning for the relationship, wondering what she did wrong, thinking she is unattractive, probably as angry as a bulldog chewing a wasp, she needs time to sort all those emotions out before she can let anyone else back into her vulnerable spaces.

you dont want to be the rebound guy so be the good supportive friend instead.