Can't stop thinking about girlfriend's ex

[Jamal]

Hi,

I just need some opinions to help clear my head... I've been seeing my girlfriend for about 3 months now. Things are going well - it's just that recently I can't stop thinking about her ex. They were together for 3yrs and got engaged to be married. In addition, he was her first sexual experience. Things didn't work out between the two of them and I know she's with me now but I just can't get him out of my head. I mean for a girl to lose her virginity to someone and then want to marry him... is it possible she has deep rooted feelings for him still?

[girl68]

You're supposed to explore this before you get together. And based on what you just gave us how are we supposed to figure out if she's still got something for her ex? I think we're going to need a lot more info.

[IncognitoSir]

From what you've told us, as of right now, YOU are just paranoid. Unless there are some signs that she has shown you that she might not be over him, this is all in your head. Make sure you don't self-destruct your relationship with paranoia. If you have more details to share with why you feel this way, this is the time to share my friend.

[Jamal]

Thanks for the replies... yeah, I don't know why I feel paranoid. Maybe because I'm starting to really like her and just thinking of all the things that can go wrong?

Anyways, her ex broke things off with her because she was too busy with work at the time. He tries to contact her regularly but she says she ignores them. She is in regular contact with his parents though which is a bit odd. In addition she really hasn't told many of her friends/family about me...we usually just hang out with my group of friends.

[IncognitoSir]

Thanks for the replies... yeah, I don't know why I feel paranoid. Maybe because I'm starting to really like her and just thinking of all the things that can go wrong?

Anyways, her ex broke things off with her because she was too busy with work at the time. He tries to contact her regularly but she says she ignores them. She is in regular contact with his parents though which is a bit odd. In addition she really hasn't told many of her friends/family about me...we usually just hang out with my group of friends.

Ok, those are ALL valid reasons to be paranoid about how she really feels about her ex.

1. He's still chasing after her
2. She's deneying you guys relationship status by HIDING you from her friends/family
3. She's still holding on to her exs family

Those are 3 big reasons Jamal. Talk to her about this, dont let this fester within you because un addressed it will only get worst and worst until one day.....you explode in anger and resentment. Dont let that happen. From the sound of it, you guys are in the early stages of dating, so keep that communication flowing man, tell her how you feel and move from there. Do be careful how you approach the situation though, she may be hiding the fact that she is deeply hurt right now and she may be a bit more tender hearted than you realize. G'luck broseph!

[Gigabitch]

I agree that those are areas of valid concern.