She contacted me... and I flipped out on her

[soulsurvivor23]

So basically, I hadn't spoken to her or seen her in about a week, nor did I want to. So she contacts me via facebook and says "what did you tell "joe?" So i'm like, nothing other than that we don't talk anymore, and we don't. She says, and that you hate me huh... So instantly that pissed me off for two reasons. The first being that for that whole week she didn't contact me to say hi or to ask how i'm doing, and then she comes in just to jump at me with accusations.

The second being that the both of us have known "Joe" to be a liar many many times due to the fact that he liked her and wanted to sabotage things when he saw us getting close. So I was also upset at how she instantly believed him..

Third, I had left things very civil. I told her I can't continue to sell myself short and that we can't be friends for that reason, and I wish her the best of luck. I didn't say that because of not having anything to say but rather that I knew I had plenty of negative things to say, and I was trying to be the bigger person by keeping those things to myself.

But... because of all of those things I just noted, my emotions got the better of me and I just let loose on her. I told her how I feel like i've wasted the past year of my life on her, and that I find her to be deceitful.. And I said that she's a heartless human being and it's not right for her to have expected me to be ok with being her friend after what happened. And that she's lost me as a person forever, and that I don't care about her anymore...

And I feel bad for saying all of that, I wish I hadn't, but I feel even worse that I think I mean it. I'm in a really bad place right now and I don't know what to do anymore. I thought I was over it and just a few words from her (online no less) just sparked this big emotional reaction out of me. I don't want to feel this way anymore.

[Gigabitch]

... and this is another reason why the No Contact rule was invented. It protects people from emotional tirades.

In my opinion, she was asking for it. You tried to tell her to leave you alone and she had to stick her oar in, didn't she?

[soulsurvivor23]

Yes, I did tell her to leave me alone. I even said it in as nice a way as possible. And next thing you know she contacted me a week later (to accuse me about this notorious liar's lie no less). I was perfectly fine and good with not having any contact with her.

[Gigabitch]

Well, that will teach her.

[Doc Durian]

Nothing wrong with going off if the situation merits it.

I went out with a woman who I eventually felt was insincere and manipulative in that cutesy sort of way. The chronic marrying sort. Whenever her mouth said one thing, her eyes said another.

So I broke it off around the time I moved house. She only knew the suburb but still managed to drive the hour and a half in order to cruise up and down side streets looking for my car.

She knocked on the door and I was floored/went off on her and told her she was in need of some serious professional help. Then her words went cutesy and her eyes predatory.

I went off about that and told her to stuff her wolf eyes back into their sockets. I wasn't buying bullshit that particular day. It was at this moment that she showed her true fangs as her cutesy act dissipated into thin air.

Whatever angle she tried was met with "wolf eyes".

Boy was she pissed off and flabbergasted.

Got a text from her 20 minutes down the road. An apology and promise to leave me be.

Her issue was rejection not me as a person, in hindsight.

So don't despair. Flipping out is nature's way of saying, "I've had enough of your caca and I'm quite adept at the quiet disposal of corpses"

I still think about her from time to time. The sex was amazing. Unfortunately, that would have been an act too. But then again, so are pornos.

[cmacattack1]

You didn't have to, and it wasn't the right way to handle the situation, but I'm certainly able to understand why you did it. It hasn't been a long enough time on your own to let it out of your system. Your emotions are running pretty high still. It was more or less her checking in to see if you are still hanging on to hope with her.

It might have been the nail in the coffin for any reconciliation, but I bet at the same time you feel a little relief to get your true thoughts on the matter out. My last talk with my ex was her walking on me like a doormat and I have so much I want to let her know about but sadly cannot. The higher road is a difficult road to follow and I can't tell you that their are many benefits outside of personal satisfaction. And it isn't even that satisfying.

Who knows? Maybe you did her a favor, put her in her place, and now she'll be thinking about it and working on herself? Probably not, but you never know.

[IncognitoSir]

I agree with doc, dont be hard on yourself, she needed to be put in her place and you obliged her. Dont let her get you down bro.

[soulsurvivor23]

As an update, she contacted me again.. and she apologized and said that she was just using that as a way to get back in contact with me and see how I was doing. And she asked if I want to be friends. I told her I'm also sorry for having lashed out on her, but that no at this time I can't see myself being friends with her.