Hit a brick wall.

[Tallgeese]

The best thing to do when you hit a brick wall is step around it. If you keep trying to walk through it, you will only keep hurting yourr head.

[cmacattack1]

As I said before, do not worry what effect your actions have in terms of you and her. That's pointless to tiptoe around her feelings in this because you and her do not exist anymore.

Also, don't flatter yourself and think it's about you. If it doesn't name you or call you out, it could be anyone. Maybe it is about you and that is a good sign, seeing as how you are getting a reaction out of her. But you don't know for sure and it certainly doesn't mean much in the big picture.

Resist the temptations. Do things other than go on facebook with your buddies. If this is a gauge of how far you've come, you have a long way to go.

[FrailWings]

Thanks for your replies. I'm not bothered about how far I have to go, as long as I reach that point and that I'm striding towards. Also cmac I know my ex far too well to know that it is about me. Anyways I've just got in from town. I realise that my life shouldn't revolve around my ex. I've been through all the stages so far, now its time for me to regain my independence fully. Interestly I met my ex"s ex at a club, and he was disgusted at how she treat me. Anyways thanks for the replies, here's to another day on the road to recovery (:

[FrailWings]

Okay guys, i view this as a BIG update. My ex has now unblocked me on msn, i've became somewhat popular recently, going to town, and i've regained all my confidence, and just made tonnes of new friends.

She's now unblocked me on msn, and now this just seems awkward. Should i maintain NC?

Okay i signed off msn for all of 2 minutes. And she went offline, she's blocked me again. I know this because i have her on my alternative account. This is pathetic, it's like she's trying to play mindgames.

Yet another update, she unblocked me. Wait 10 minutes, blocked me, and then unblocked me again, so it'd show up in the little pop up that she's came online. I never spoke a word to her... Strange.

[cmacattack1]

Nor should you. It's another game. She thinks you are paying attention to these little details. And you are borderline obsessively.

You know you have to maintain no contact. Do you even need to ask?

Take her off your list if this is driving you nuts. Remember she has to come to you and when she wants to put the bullshit aside she will. You should feel confident enough to know that she will contact you again. Don't worry friend.

[FrailWings]

Thanks for the reply.

Yeah i understand where you're coming from. I think i just got a bit obsessive there. The whole NC question, was because was it her giving me a chance to speak?

However i realise now, it should be her who makes contact. If she wants to speak she will. 19 days of NC so far, and i feel a lot better. I'm aware it seems she's playing games, and i really don't know why she's doing this. But, slowly but surely, i'm getting better, and seeing the bigger picture.

[cmacattack1]

Can you believe it's been almost 3 weeks? It gets easier and you have to keep yourself in check here. These first few months are critical in the healing process. Try to push her and what she is doing out of your thoughts and it will make things even easier. You know this. Keep it up.

[FrailWings]

Another update, my ex has now deleted my off FaceBook today. I guess this will help me in the long run, it hurt a little, but not as much as it would of done.

She seems to be giving kind of mixed signals in a way, but i think she's just playing games maybe? I'm not going to sink to that level. Just going to try and get on with it (: