BInge drinking for 4 days now

[Lovable]

If he is hooking up with other guys during this time apart, do you really want to be back with him?

Gotta think about STD's AIDS, not to mention if he did really love you, he wouldn't be soliciting sex with others, he would be with you.

Best advice I can give, let him go totally & move on with your life.

[DonkeyKong]

This is a guy who doesn't want to get into a committed relationship, but still wants to keep you around for affection. And I would say that by having sex with him you only encouraged that behavior. Next time it comes up, tell him he needs to make a choice...to either be with you or not. And that if the answer is "not," then that's it. No more texting, and definitely no more sex. And, if I was that friend who you were out with, I definitely would've tried to stop you from going home with him.

[everybodybutme]

He's been texting me, being nice and even called me "babylove" (his pet name for me). Said he misses me, and even asked if i miss him. Well, I tried to keep my replies brief. I'm starting to get used to the fact that I 'm not going to see him anymore. Maybe it's a sign of moving on. As far as I can recall, he already made a choice, "I love you so much, but we can't be together anymore.. blah blah blah..." " i feel like if I stay with you, I would jkust cheat on you...", "I want to be with you, but..."

UGHHHHHH

It's just so confusing how he still shows that he cares for me, that he still text me like we're still together. It makes moving on HARDER. And I don't want to play his game at all.

@Donkeykong: Maybe you're right. He's just keeping me around for affection. Maybe he's enjoying the fact that there's someone out here who loves him and who, he thinks, won't let him go-yet.

Well, I haven't cried since the last time I saw him. Maybe that's a sign of me moving on.

[sookie6]

@Donkeykong: Maybe you're right. He's just keeping me around for affection.

He is also keeping you as a potential sex partner for when he is lonely.

My opinion on all this is that he's confused due to his age. You might think that at 25 is a grown up or should be but he is still very young and a man loves his freedom.

He must be confused now about where the relationship is going. He probably knows that after 4 years he should be doing some kinda of commitment to you or at least in the near future.

All o this + the fact he goes out with his mates and possibly meets other girls make him think...hey hold on a minute...where is all this going?

It also depend whether you were his first long term relationship. You need to look up his history and see if he really had time to enjoy his freedom.
Nothing can replace that precious alone time when you party and dont need worry about anyone else.

In France there has been a trend for nearly a decade of young people hooking up from 17, moving in together straight aways and staying together for many years. You end up with a generation of split up couples naring their thirties and who are totally lost about being single...The split up is usually initiated by one of the partners who feel lost and like they haven't experienced life enough for themselves...

So you see....

Best advice for now and for you: don't beg or contact him. Let him be. But do not run back anytime he asks you to. Tell him that you are taking a few months apart without seeing him.
Then sort yourself out, make new friends, keep busy,etc.

Over time you'll get a better idea of what is going on and you might even meet someone more mature than him.

DO NOT LET HIM USE YOU FOR SEX OR YOU'LL END UP MORE DAMAGED!

[Bumble_bee]

Every single time he would text me, I Always ask myself if I Should reply. What should I do?

Just do the no contact thing at all? WHt would that prove anyway? EIther he would pick up on that and miss me or he would just forget and move on (obv i do not want the latter to happen)

go NC, you don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you, so if the latter does happen, you are well prepared. And do not try to numb your pain with drink, you keep doing that and no-one will want you.

[ChristianonLI]

You've only been binge drinking for 4 days? I've been doing it now for nearly three months since my wife left. I also started smoking pot again and adding a few other substances I'd prefer not to name here.

Point being: this person broke your heart. Your life is as much over as mine is so why fight it? Everyone on this Earth is only given one person to be with and if that person is lost you're doomed to spend the rest of your life miserable and alone.

So you can either sulk about it hoping they come back, or you can take an active role in personally making sure the rest of their life is as miserable as yours is. So go out and take your revenge, but plan it carefully. You don't just want this person walking away with their reasons for breaking up with you validated. You want to know that they'll be in therapy for years to come because of what you did, incapable of maintaining another loving relationship for just as long and hopefully forever if you really do it right. Why should they be allowed to get away with doing this to YOU?

If you roll over and accept being dumped then you're a spineless weakling. Go do some research, get armed, and when the time is right, STRIKE. Strike at them hard and fast and make sure the wounds cut deep so that they never forget who you are and just how wrong it was to forsake you. If done right they'll be seeing a therapist every week for the next decade and they'll never be able to trust again, to love again, to be happy again. Considering the hurt they caused you, I'd say it's the least you can do to repay them.