Rum and Football

[DonkeyKong]

So here's an odd thing:

Currently on Day 5 of NC with my ex, though we are both going to a mutual friend's Super Bowl party tomorrow night, which I mentioned in my original thread. My plan is to be friendly and polite, but not engage in conversation.

Anyway, today out of the blue I get a text from her asking me if I'd bring a bottle of a certain rum that she and I both like. Now, the thing is, I think it'd be a good idea for me to bring it because it's great for mixing drinks. But I also don't want to give off the impression that I'm doing her a favor by bringing it, since we're in NC.

So, the way I figure it, I can either bring it and appear as though I'm caving and she still has influence over me, or I can NOT bring it and risk appearing like I'm going out of my way NOT to do her a favor (in addition to depriving myself of the awesomeness of rum!)

I definitely would not go out and buy a bottle for her, obviously. But the thing is I already have two full bottles of it at home and she knows that. I don't get the impression she was asking me to buy anything, she just knew I already had it.

I'm not really sure what I should do. I'm thinking I'll bring it, mainly because I want to have it there, but at the same time I definitely don't want to send the signal that I'm trying to win her favor.

I did not reply to the text message today, and I'm not going to. What do you guys think?

[VincenzoG91]

The rum is not the issue. If you are serious about NC, then you are not going to that party. If you aren't serious about NC, go to the party, with or without rum, and do whatever.

[Lite]

Sounds like she wants to get drunk on your dime.

[DonkeyKong]

I'm on a customized version of NC. No calls, texts, e-mails, or hanging out...but this party was planned way before we broke up and I'm not about to sacrifice my social life just because she's going to be there. Like I said, I'm not going to even be talking to her beyond saying hi. I did think about no going, but then I realized that since I'm not trying to get her back but do plan on staying friends (eventually, when I'm ready for it) I would be better served if I did not eliminate an event from my already scarce social life.

And, in response to Lite...believe me, she doesn't need me to bring any booze for her to get her drink on. I already know she'll be bringing plenty of her own food and beverages.

I know this isn't a big deal no matter what I do, I just thought it'd be interesting to get others' opinions on it out of curiosity.

[cmacattack1]

I say you are worrying too much about the consequences of this. You do what you want to do, and as long as its in terms of you, what happens as a result is irrelevant.

I'd be careful with the whole drinking thing though. I don't know how you are or how you think you will be, but it could lead to some breakdown of your "customized NC" system you have. Plus, I'm sure you'd be holding onto it all night, and she'd come to ask you every time she wanted a drink. Or if not, she'd probably be helping herself to it. It's difficult to see that doing that would have any positive effect.

If you do, I'd limit your contact to her. Be friendly if she approaches but spend more time with the buddies you came to see. That's the real reason you are there anywayrigh t?

[DonkeyKong]

I say you are worrying too much about the consequences of this. You do what you want to do, and as long as its in terms of you, what happens as a result is irrelevant.

I'd be careful with the whole drinking thing though. I don't know how you are or how you think you will be, but it could lead to some breakdown of your "customized NC" system you have. Plus, I'm sure you'd be holding onto it all night, and she'd come to ask you every time she wanted a drink. Or if not, she'd probably be helping herself to it. It's difficult to see that doing that would have any positive effect.

If you do, I'd limit your contact to her. Be friendly if she approaches but spend more time with the buddies you came to see. That's the real reason you are there anywayrigh t?

Absolutely. And honestly, I'm not worrying about this at all. It was more a curiosity than anything else. I'm there for my guy friends, she'll just be on the periphery of my attention.

[cmacattack1]

I know, and that's the way it should be. You should be there for your friends and enjoying their company with them enjoying yours. It's just funny that no matter how long you think you have come, when you still see them, your feelings will come forth whether you want them to or not. As long as you are confident in how you feel and do not think that it will be much of hinderance, I'd say you are in good shape.

If you want to ensure the best possible results for this, you should do what I'm doing. I challenged my friend to an 18 pack challenge one on one. The competition is to see who can finish their 18 pack by themselves the fastest starting at the kickoff. Nothing could possibly go wrong in that scenario eh?

Alcoholism! It's funny!

[Supernova]

She is not interested in the rum, it was an excuse to see if you would reply and get a reaction. Go to the party because you want to. Do not take the rum and have a great time with your friends! I bet she just wanted to find out if you were still going to the party, and used the excuse of the rum. Good luck! Go the Colts!

[DonkeyKong]

Went to the party, did bring the rum but oh well. It wasn't too awkward, we didn't talk too much to each other. But now today I'm getting a message on Facebook asking if she can borrow my GPS for her trip next week. F*** that! Didn't even respond, and I won't.