Ex invading my space...

[Lulu]

So we have an eleven year old together, broke up in November, he's moved out and we are trying to be on "friendly" terms- he shovels my drive, takes our daughter if I have something going on- but last night I was working and he came over to my house with our daughter- he didn't answer his phone in the afternoon when I tried to call her, but he came here while I was at work and used my computer to look at his facebook. I don't know if he took anything, but he didn't leave a note or anything. I discovered foot prints, saw that he took my "hidden" key and came into my house. Maybe my daughter wanted something from the house, but why come into my bedroom and check out his facebook on my computer!?

Then- the other day he asks if I'm still dating a guy- I told him no...a few days later he says that he remembers seeing the guy I dated at a cage fighting event he did two months ago- I dated the guy a month ago- my ex doesn't know him but they know mutual people. I don't know why he mentioned that out of the blue- how would he have remembered seeing one random guy in the crowd from a month before I even dated him- he doesn't even know the guy or what he had looked like until I showed him a picture three weeks ago and he didn't say anything about remembering him then (the weird thing is the guy I dated DID attend the event- told me he went to see the guy he was working with who was fighting). I think my ex might have been asking around and may have sabotaged the start of my "relationship" with the guy I was dating!

Now my ex is asking me to come watch him fight- tells me that he is going to give me a "shout out" after he wins- he promises nothing bad- but he is seeing other girls- why does he care about me being there where all of his sleazy new bar girlfriends are in attendance, his mother (who I don't get along with) will be there, all of his loser cage fighting friends will be there...I don't fit in with those people. Why does he care who I date, avoiding my phone calls but then coming to my house when I'm not here (without telling me about it)? I am just confused and baffled. Talk about head games. One day he'll be so sweet during a phone call, the next he'll answer the phone with a "what?"- He changed his voicemail of his cell phone to "you've reached the coolest guy in the world- leave a message..."- which I told him one other time it was arrogant, he got rid of it and then switched it back when we were on good terms at the time- he told our daughter he only did it because he wanted me to hear it?! Makes no sense- we weren't fighting, why do it? (not that it is a reason to fight...) Why does he care what I think? I'm his ex and he's doing other girls.....

I don't want to fight with him- I could scream at him right now for invading my space and possibly sabotaging my dating life (which he will forever deny)- but do I go to his lame fight to be a good "friend", supportive, etc. (it's his last fight0- I want to be on good terms for our daughter.....but one day he is being cool, the next not answering my calls, the next hitting on/sleeping around with other girls at the bar, and then asking me to come to his cage fight!?? How should I handle this maturely while resuming a "friendship"!?

Sorry if this sounds a little out there and fragmented, but I just got done working a 13 hour shift and am going to bed....just really mad right now....I miss this guy and I love him, but I hate him, too.....any advice is appreciated.

[vashti]

I suggest you get rid of the hidden key, and quit discussing your dating life with him. He isn't your friend - he is your ex. You can be friendly without giving up your privacy.

Either that, or get back together with him and turn a blind eye to his whoring.