Would really like some help, my ex is confusing me

[lizmrg]

Hi

Please don't let this lengthily post put you off reading because I REALLY need some help

My ex and I split up in June 2009 after a 3 year long distance relationship, he ended it and I was (and still am) so heart broken. The reasons he gave me for splitting up was he doesn't like being so far apart and we should be seeing each other every day like normal couples, he loves me but he's not in love with me and "I'm so confused, I don't know what I want". He said he wanted it to work but before he gave it a chance he ended it anyway.

Anyway, we meet up about once (some times a couple of times) a month just as friends but the 'just as friends thing' is what is confusing me because we don't seem like just friends. There's lots of cuddling and affection like couples do and sometimes there is obvious tension between us. We get on together so well. When we meet up it's like we're still going out but we have to refrain from doing somethings.

Last month when we met up we kissed twice, one was like a peck on the lips but the second kiss was like a full on making out kiss. He didn't pull away or say anything about it so I thought it was meant to happen but a few weeks later he said it was a moment of weakness and a mistake. What does he mean 'a moment of weakness?' does he mean he wanted it to happen but then realised it was wrong? or he just didn't want to kick up a fuss about it so he went along with the kiss?

Basically - I'm so confused about him and where we stand with each other. I think there's still something between us but we can't do anything about it because of the distance. I really want to get back together but I need some help.

[AnOnc84]

I think you should cut your losses and get rid of him. You don't deserve to be messed around like this. He says he doesn't know what he wants, so let him go away and not know. It's not fair of him to end things with you and then come onto your like that....that is leading you on and taking advantage! And you are letting him do it! You deserve a man who knows what he wants, is not confused, and who will commit to you. Cut him off now to save yourself anymore heartache...you are wasting your time when you could be meeting someone who is worthy of you.

GOOD LUCK AND CHIN UP!!

[stevelove7]

I think.. he is playing you.. get rid of him.. yes, i know its hard..Liz you have to be realistic.. for a time being just cool down.. relax ..think of your future..remember what he did to you, don't confusing with your feeling.. there must be a clear line between love and like.. if not, u are letting him take advantage on you.. so, for now..cool off .. playing some with him.. ..ok..

Be relax and be happy..smile always..

[cmacattack1]

He has to figure out what he wants and you are only going to be hurt in the process if he does one thing, and than goes back on it afterwards.

I don't know for sure, but it sounds like he is kind of keeping you around as an option until something else comes along. Friends are friends, and that doesn't sound like a friendship to you or me. For some people, like myself, I miss the intimacy and affection you have in a relationship and I'm sure he does too. He misses that and feels comfortable enough with you to do that.

There needs to be a frank and honest talk here. Let him know how you feel and no matter how he feels, he just has to say it. And if he doesn't know what he wants than you are going to have to leave him alone and remind him that he needs to be on his own to figure things out and you need to as well. And it's probably going to take some time ( a couple months for example) to really figure things out, because all too likely he will feel like you are gone to him and he's going to chase with desparation. And that's for the wrong reasons.