Men: why did you get married?

[starbuck]

No, I basically agree with you Mrtdg82. I personally don't think most people are ready for marriage in their twenties.

A woman's biological clock made more sense when our life expentancies were lower. Now that we live longer, it can seem like nature's cruel joke.

Of course, there are also those of us (like me) who are open to adoption.

[mrtdg82]

It's hard to blame those women in their late twenties for feeling the rush though. There's a biological clock issue, and they probably just want to have healthy babies. Men aren't usually as aware of the statistics regarding older women and problematic pregnancies.

I think you are missing my point slightly....

Personally i think a large amount of marriages occurr for one of the following reasons

a) Because its the logical next step in the relationship
b) Because the relationship has become stale and its seen as a way to 'freshen' it up
c) due to peer pressure
d) similer to c but that they reach a certain age where they feel the need to settle down. Someone comes along with similer views and the relationship is fast tracked into engagements and kids within a year in order to meet that requirement.

Whilst i appreciate what you are saying about the body clock it should not be the sole reason that relationships or marriages are formed however personally i think that can be the case quite often. We often forget that the first year of a relationship is still the honeymood period, but far too often people jump on the bandwago and want to do everything all at once. I just wish people would take there time with things and let things happen rather then make it.

[mrtdg82]

Apologies i didnt see my last post come up... i thought id lost it.... my bad

[Doc Durian]

I've counseled my young teenage son about getting involved in heavy relationships before he's ready for the possible consequences.

Had we been living 50-75 years ago, the talk wouldn't have necessary. We as a society raised our children to develop into adults as soon as they were capable.

Since then, many children and grandchildren of the Baby Boomers were left at a supreme relationship disadvantage by the selfishness shifts experienced in the 60's, 70's, and 80's.

Children often remain children up until their 30's and 40's now. Some never grow up and take responsibility for their lives and choices, with the full support of their fractured families.

I gave the talk to him not because I doubt his heart or ability, but rather his peers.

This current generation, overall, has no principles nor wisdom about it.

Children ready to make more children for Big Brother's indoctrination of further garbage and poison water to facilitate the blind obedience every fast tracked dictatorship creams their jocks over.

It's come down to electronic trinket upgrades every 6 months and shoddy media tabloid blankets.

Marriages generally fail these days as it's become an industry.

[Lipp]

Male, not married, in a 1 year 2 months relationship. Not planning to propose anytime soon since I'm still young (21, 22 in about a month), want to finish studies and start working first so that we can afford living in a place of our own, and got concerns about the relationship that would keep me from taking that step.

[all alone]

I've counseled my young teenage son about getting involved in heavy relationships before he's ready for the possible consequences.

Had we been living 50-75 years ago, the talk wouldn't have necessary. We as a society raised our children to develop into adults as soon as they were capable.

Since then, many children and grandchildren of the Baby Boomers were left at a supreme relationship disadvantage by the selfishness shifts experienced in the 60's, 70's, and 80's.

Children often remain children up until their 30's and 40's now. Some never grow up and take responsibility for their lives and choices, with the full support of their fractured families.

I gave the talk to him not because I doubt his heart or ability, but rather his peers.

This current generation, overall, has no principles nor wisdom about it.

Children ready to make more children for Big Brother's indoctrination of further garbage and poison water to facilitate the blind obedience every fast tracked dictatorship creams their jocks over.

It's come down to electronic trinket upgrades every 6 months and shoddy media tabloid blankets.

Marriages generally fail these days as it's become an industry.

Couldn't one argue that, assuming your opinion was valid, it your generations fault for allowing this to occur? this type of generational change is natural, but it doesn't happen over night either.

Just food for thought I guess.. not that i have a particularly strong view on the subject, just thought your comment was interesting

[vashti]

@vashti

Are you so unhappy in your marriage? No offence, btw..

That's not it. I am just very practical. There really isn't any practical reason for getting married if you don't want to have a family. (Unless you refuse to have sex outside of marriage, which I don't think is the case for most people.)

[Mish]

I think I will only marry when I'm ready to start a family.

[Moe]

Single now just dumped by the women I was to marry.

The first time I thought we both wanted the same things, kids, home, life together. Well she wanted more and boogied. I dated and never found the right one, never had the feeling of living together forever.
Then one day I looked into this girls eyes and and I literally couldn't breath. After three years we had plans to marry and were as happy as any two living beings could be. On Wednesday we were making wedding plans on Monday she left. This was the only women who's ever done this to me.

[Doc Durian]

Couldn't one argue that, assuming your opinion was valid, it your generations fault for allowing this to occur? this type of generational change is natural, but it doesn't happen over night either.

Just food for thought I guess.. not that i have a particularly strong view on the subject, just thought your comment was interesting

I no longer have a generation to attach myself to. I opted out 12 years ago due to a great disgust.

I've walked the earth since, like Kung Fu.

[VincenzoG91]

Following a few threads touching on men and mariage, I am curious to know what people think of mariage in general.

To all married men: what prompted you to propose at the time you did?

To all unmarried men who have a steady gfriend: why you don't propose yet? Will you one day?

I fall in between these two categories, so I will answer both. I proposed when I was finally absolutely sure that I was with the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. I held off a long time before proposing because I wanted to be sure. I'm still waiting for an answer, because my girlfriend has trouble making the really big decisions. For example, it took her many months to buy her current car. She was also so nervous about moving in with me three years ago that she considered breaking up with me, but I talked her out of it and we ended up even closer. I think that she will eventually say yes.

[Incognito]

Following a few threads touching on men and marriage, I am curious to know what people think of mariage in general.

To all married men: what prompted you to propose at the time you did?

Well when I decided to propse I was just as excited as the day I met my wife. We had a great deal in common, we both liked each others families, and both families liked each other. I suppose that the timing was good too. I had a bunch of money to spend on the ring/wedding. Plus I was young and stupid. So all of those things put together prompted me to make one of the biggest mistakes of my life.

[Gigabitch]

The first time, I was knocked up and it seemed like the right thing to do. 10 years later, I stopped waiting for him to grow up and shit-canned his ass.

Second time around, I got lucky enough to get a second shot at the one that got away when I was 26 and he was ready to get married withing four months. He actually held off asking me because he didn't want to freak me out. He broke a bunch of his own rules for me, like the No LDR's rule and the No Women With Kids rule. I think I was the right woman at the right time.

[bluesummer]

My first marriage was a mess. I was 24 (too young to get married), and I wasn't as 'in love' as I had myself convinced I was. I had no idea what a good marriage or relationship looked like, having been the child of divorce. It took him cheating on me a handful of times over the course of two years to finally lose it and throw him out and move away to start my life fresh.

My experiences taught me what didn't work for me, what traits I should avoid at all costs. When I met my current fiance, I knew within months that it was long-term. The whole relationship was just so easy and comfortable, and it's been that way for three years now. I was never in a rush to get married, and neither was he; but we wanted to start look at having kids once we hit our thirties, and we're still too 'old-fashioned' to have kids and not be married. So it is. We get married in August.