Dear Ex,
You suck. I know I said nothing but good things when I dumped you, but I secretly want you to rot in hell.
Dear Ex,
You suck. I know I said nothing but good things when I dumped you, but I secretly want you to rot in hell.
wrote it while on transit.im not much of a writer but had to write down what i was thinking... i almost texted you...
maybe this will help me let go...
Something i'll never mean to send.
He used to be my motivation
my real love of life
reason for dedication
my no need for explanation
and yet her gives me those sensations
kind of boy.
and im careful to say boy
for as if i was a toy
he threw my heart around
broke it all the way down
and left it in a state id less that enjoy
in all reality,
he was that kind of boy
and i do not suggest or imply
that like most stereo relationships
it was just the fault of the guy
i cannot ever deny
i had issues of my own
i used to be a girl.
and in being that girl
i fell in love with that boy
and in the end i became
no longer a girl
waitng for him to be a man
see,
he used to my motivation
my single hearted love sensation
until he left without explanation
which led to my determination
to grow up.
im officially a woman
waiting for a boy
to turn into a man
until then ill just have to understand
that he is still a boy.
and honestly...
i can't hate you.
I would say.. "you said you have been having doubts about us for awhile.. well then why the f*** didn't you SAY SOMETHING when you first started having doubts instead of letting it build until you broke my heart?" And also I would say "call my kids and apologize to THEM and explain to THEM why their step daddy didn't talk things out with mom. You owe them an apology because YOU BROKE THEIR HEARTS TO!" and "If your seeing someone else.. She's a SLUT SLUT SLUT for moving in on a guy who was taken...and I hope karma kicks your a**..."
Or I might just say..
I forgive you. I love you. I am yours forever.
Thanks for your horrendous behaviour when I flew over to visit you, it made it all a whole lot simpler, and good luck with moving to the dullest and quaintest part of the entire globe, and breaking your own rule on that "people with psychological issues shouldn't study psychology".
Oh, and thanks for providing me with amusement by adding me on facebook and then blocking your profile so that you can watch my success while hiding your own misery. Can't help but make all the wrong choices, huh?
well its now been 2 days since i looked at ur facebook profile. Im starting to feel so much better and moving on.
Ah but the damn No Contact rule is so easy to break. Contact is so bloody irresistible and tempting.
"The weakest soul, knowing its own weakness, and believing this truth that strength can only be developed by effort and practice, will, thus believing, at once begin to exert itself, and, adding effort to effort, patience to patience, and strength to strength, will never cease to develop, and will at last grow divinely strong."
- James Allen
been 2 weeks today.NC...this is harder than i thought
Yes, NC is very hard. I have failed at it miserably. Me and ex has been talking each day, we kissed yesterday. It really didnt hurt so bad, bc we are both hanging out with new people. But i wish i could be as strong as you all.
So, your excuse was you broke up with me because you didn't have time to figure out your life (1 yrs old, moving home, etc) and have a relationship. Yet I come to find out that after 1 month of separation you have plenty of time to spend hours away scrapbooking on the weekends and go out on a date. Interesting how you all of a sudden have time for someone new but couldn't find an hour here and there to spend time with someone you supposidly "loved". Step up and tell me the real reason why you broke up with me!!!! I'm moving on, but painful enough that I have to see and work with you every day and don't get to fully appreciate the concept of NO CONTACT!!!!
Well if I was going to say something to my ex right now it would be "I don't really miss you, I just miss what I had with you and I can find that with someone else".
if i could say something to my ex it would first of all be why the hell did you try to ruin my life, why do you wear the crap that you wear thats not something a 14 year old should be wearing to school and why doesent your dad say something to you about this every time you leave the house, why are you getting a new boyfreind every week and finaly why did i ever fall in love with you o and blondy thats a good statment i like that alot haha
weeee ! i can finally move on. i was going to move on but you begged me to stay declaring your TRUE love for me. well, i turned back and history repeats itself again... it's never-ending. when are you gonna be clear-headed and get out of YOUR shit ? i gave you a second chance, because you asked for it. but again you didn't cherish it. you don't cherish me.
whether it is again a trick of yours, i'm not gonna waste an ounce of my brain sinews to think about it. cos it's clear to me now that you are not worth it at all. i was prepared to shower you with love and be with you till the end. but you threw it away again for someone who always seem to want you ONLY when you are wanted by someone else.
i've had enough. whatever that is the true intention of your heart when you said those words to me. you know. heaven knows. i won't get angry like before. it's not worth it. everyone gets their due dose of karma in due course. you are not worth my expending a minute of my time and energy.
do you have split personality ? meaning your left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing ? or are you just a habitual liar ? even if you do have a mental condition which makes you this way, if i don't know about it, you are still a liar in my eyes.
i don't believe you anymore.
you can choose to live in your past. you will remain single for the rest of your life shuttling to and fro the old and the new. that's not my concern any more.
if your heart is not sincere, then i say shame on you. hmmm did you call yourself a child of God ? it is people like you who send Him to the cross.
amen
Last edited by jsulley; 27-02-10 at 10:29 AM.
hey i know you probably dont want to hear from me but i honestly have made some major positive changes in my life since you left last quarter. I was going through lotsof issues and a down time in my life and i reached out to you for a helping hand as i had done for you many times because you were someone i could open up to. But since then i realized i went about it in a wrong fashion and that i needed to branch out and find other ways to deal with me issues. I have rethought my whole out look on life and realized that i was very shallow and close minded and rude in some cases and thats not how i wanted to be. I came off to you as needy and whiny which for a point in time i was but i realized that was not necessary. I just had too many things going wrong in life recently and you eneded up being the person i reached out to. I know have found many other ways to focus my energy in positive ways to deal with my issues, have became more open minded to different views and less discriminatory ad deragotory towards people who dont share a similar outlook as me. I have became more open minded , less negative and more independent in dealing with my issues and would like to apologize for anything i might have done and do not want to open up any old wounds or anything from the past. Its just a simple apology. I hope you can have a enough respect for me after everything we have gone through to give me another chance at being a friend and only that. I dont want to be buddy buddy or use you as my emotional tampon. I know it could be a little ackward at first and things dont fix themselves in such a short time but im hoping you can open up to me again since i feel you have impacted my life in a very positive way.Regardless i dont need you in my life but you are a person i value as a friend and feel you are a great person whether or not you choose to open back to me in any way and no hard feeling will be had. I understand you had your reasons for doing what you did and in retrospect realize them and respect them. I value and respect any decision you have but would like you to know im being honest and hope you have the compasion to realize i never meant anything bad for you and never had any malicious intentions.
You know what's sad, I've thought about contacting my ex numerous times, but I never have a coherent thought to express.
I'm satisfied that the last text I sent her says "I love you." I mean, there's really not a whole lot more than that you can say.