What the hell should I do?

[Up in the hills]

Hey there.

I'll try and keep this pretty short. I was seeing a girl last year and she treated me pretty bad and we had a messy split up and I felt pretty bitter as I had feelings for her, but she threw it back in my face. I took it really bad as I've had a few relationships go sour like this and I really did care for her.

Anyway, I still think about her loads and since mid January me and her have been talking loads more and she has been saying how sorry she is, how she felt scared by letting me in close and that she really regrets what happened between me and her. She is at uni back home about 40 miles away from where i am at uni but I do still have feelings for her, and guessing from what she has been saying she feels the same way, or do you reckon she feels guilty??? I don't feel I have been able to move on and I really do have feelings for her and I wish we could have had a proper shot at it.

Do I give it another chance when we are together or just try and see someone else? Wouldn't that be selfish of me though, if I still have feelings for someone else?

[Chupacabras]

I wouldn't. If she acted like a bitch before, she'll do it again when she's sure you're stuck on her.

You're at university and should be trying out all kinds of different girls anyways, not tying yourself to someone you weren't happy with the first time around.

[Up in the hills]

That's the thing though, I was happy with her till we fell out.

[girl68]

Depends. Some people are truely capable of being sorry and changing their ways. If she was once a bitch because of her fear of committment or whatever and later learns about herself, what she wants, and gets the fear under control that doesn't mean she'll for sure be a bitch to you again.

If you do proceed do so slowly. Ensure that she understands what exactly she did wrong. Ask her how come she's back and ready to give it a go.

[Chupacabras]

The gist I got was she treated you badly before the breakup?

[Up in the hills]

Sorry, should have made myself clear. No we were brilliant before the break-up, but she said she got scared as she has never had a proper relationship before. She was also suffering from depression and low self-esteem at the time, plus her mum was in hospital, so I was helping her through that as well.

LOL, sounds to me when I read that I am trying to justify this to myself

[Chupacabras]

In that case, yeah, a second chance could be in order... depending on just how hurtful that breakup was, of course.

[Up in the hills]

Well it did absolutely destroy me, but I said from the outset that I forgive her (I am way too forgiving fyi) so I don't harbour any ill feelings towards her now, although I did bitch like f*** about her to my mates, which I do feel guilty about as she was going through a rough time and I do regret that.