Hurt :(

[Emesis]

How old are you, emesis? And I ask again: were you aware that you gave yourself a screen name that means "vomit"?

I'm 21. Do you know what Guillain-Barre is? That should answer your question.

[vashti]

I'm 21. Do you know what Guillain-Barre is? That should answer your question.

Of course I do. I'm a nurse. Ascending paralysis. I've only cared for a few with Guillain-Barre, though, and none of them were vomiting.

Why do you have the Afghani flag under your avatar? Are you military?

[Emesis]

I wasn't implying a connection - only showing that I understand medical terminology. So yes, I know what "emesis" means. I like the color of the flag. It fits my screen name.

[vashti]

Nice. I bet you make friends everywhere you go.

[LailaK]

I don't expect you to understand because you have a vagina. I'm trying to relate to the guy in her scenario. If LailaK ordered him around and then expected him to plan dates and pick up the tab, then I'm not surprised he wasn't interested.

You're the most ridiculous jerk I've ever met. How do you know I made him pay for anything. For your info, I always offer to pay for myself and at times I even treated him to return the favor. What have you got to say to that?

Also if you read closely I said that asking him to take me out was a mistake. Guy don't like assertive girls who tell them "I like you" in an obvious way, which leads us back to my original point. I'm right, Vashti's right too, and you just sound like a bitter woman hater.

[Only-virgins]

You walked her to her "bike" while she was heavily intoxicated ? I hope that is a bicycle.

[Emesis]

You're the most ridiculous jerk I've ever met. How do you know I made him pay for anything. For your info, I always offer to pay for myself and at times I even treated him to return the favor. What have you got to say to that?

Wow, you are the most sensitive bunch I've ever met. Where did I say he paid for everything? I gave a hypothetical situation and said if you did any of the things I mentioned, then I wouldn't be surprised if the guy wasn't interested in you. By the way, you never answered my questions.

Did you plan activities on dates or did he? Who paid? Did you flirt with him at all? If so, what did you do to show interest?

Also if you read closely I said that asking him to take me out was a mistake. Guy don't like assertive girls who tell them "I like you" in an obvious way, which leads us back to my original point. I'm right, Vashti's right too, and you just sound like a bitter woman hater.

How do I sound bitter? I haven't even said anything negative towards women. LOL

[vashti]

what did you do to show interest?

I believe she said something along the lines of "we should go on a date". I really don't know how much more clear she could be, unless she were to actually grab his penis.

[LailaK]

Your bitterness comes out in your attitude. You assume that I did all of the wrong things in my dealings with this guy. Is that always your assumption? That women do the wrong things and guys are free from fault. That may not be how you mean it but that's what you sound like. Just saying...

I'm not saying I'm free from fault. I'm saying that the OP's girl may be just like me and confused on whether he likes her or not.

To answer your questions:
Did I plan activities or did he? We both did. He'd say "Let's go Kayaking." I'd say "Awesome!" I'd say "Let's go on a snowboarding day trip" he'd say "Sweet" Typical friend stuff.

Who paid? Every time we hung out (not all of them were dates) except for once I paid my own way. I even treated him to say thank you for the ONE time he treated me to a movie. Looking back, the fact that he never even offered to pay for my coffee/dinner/whatever when we hung out should have been my first clue he wasn't interested in me romantically. If the OP did similar behavior with his girl she may have interpreted that as "He's not offering to pay, therefore this is not a date. He must just think of me as a friend..."

Did I flirt? Yes. I've learned to smile, bite my lip and give the "I want to jump you" eye as good as the best of them. He seemed to respond well to my flirting but he could've just been humoring me or enjoying the attention. Guys do that.

I'm chalking it all up to "He wasn't interested". He wants to be my friend that's why he's still in my face, emailing/calling/etc. I'm taking the advice I've given the OP. It's too painful and weird to be "just friends" with someone you like.

BOTTOM LINE: This is just how some girls open up. It's subtle but I thought it was very clear that I liked him. If guys don't reciprocate a girl will assume (rightfully or wrongfully) that he's not interested, lick her wounds, and move on to someone who is interested. That is my lesson (and drawn out point) to the OP. Man up and go after what you want! Otherwise you may not get it.

[Emesis]

I believe she said something along the lines of "we should go on a date". I really don't know how much more clear she could be, unless she were to actually grab his penis.

LOL

"Exhibit A: When I got tired of just hanging out I told him "You should take me on a real date." He did and we had a great time (at least I did). But in hindsight this was a mistake. I think I scared him by asking him out.

Exhibit B: After talking on the internet/phone for a week (without him asking me out again) I said "We should go on a DATE again I had a lot of fun."

Where does LailaK mention how she flirted on their date? All she told us is she ordered him to take her out twice during casual conversations.

[LailaK]

LOL

"Exhibit A: When I got tired of just hanging out I told him "You should take me on a real date." He did and we had a great time (at least I did). But in hindsight this was a mistake. I think I scared him by asking him out.

Exhibit B: After talking on the internet/phone for a week (without him asking me out again) I said "We should go on a DATE again I had a lot of fun."

Where does LailaK mention how she flirted on their date? All she told us is she ordered him to take her out twice during casual conversations.

The reason I did this is because we were hanging out a lot! But it felt very friendly and I didn't consider them dates. Telling him playfully "You should take me on a real date" in a flirty manner was my way of letting him know "I like you. If you like me and want to ask me out I'm going to say yes." After our date when he didn't ask me out again I reopened the door a second time. Won't be making that mistake again.

[vashti]

emesis - I didn't see it as an order, but rather a suggestion.

I don't know that she got to flirt with him on their date because it doesn't look like he took her on one.

You aren't nick, are you? Your statement about me not understanding because I have a vagina was very nick-like.

[Emesis]

Your bitterness comes out in your attitude. You assume that I did all of the wrong things in my dealings with this guy. Is that always your assumption? That women do the wrong things and guys are free from fault. That may not be how you mean it but that's what you sound like. Just saying...

Where did I assume you are responsible for what went wrong with this guy? All I did was ask you questions. If that bothers you to the point that you feel implicated in some kind of hate crime against men, then you should stop posting on the Internet, take a deep breath, and ask yourself how come a few harmless questions from an anonymous person made you so defensive.

[LailaK]

I was being defensive because you were being rude. There was no need for your rudeness.

And as far as being defensive, I was pretty calm about the whole thing. I called you a jerk because you were acting like one. The "black woman" comment was crossing a line and I didn't appreciate it very much.

[ZiggyZ]

Your bitterness comes out in your attitude. You assume that I did all of the wrong things in my dealings with this guy. Is that always your assumption? That women do the wrong things and guys are free from fault. That may not be how you mean it but that's what you sound like. Just saying...

I'm not saying I'm free from fault. I'm saying that the OP's girl may be just like me and confused on whether he likes her or not.

To answer your questions:
Did I plan activities or did he? We both did. He'd say "Let's go Kayaking." I'd say "Awesome!" I'd say "Let's go on a snowboarding day trip" he'd say "Sweet" Typical friend stuff.

Who paid? Every time we hung out (not all of them were dates) except for once I paid my own way. I even treated him to say thank you for the ONE time he treated me to a movie. Looking back, the fact that he never even offered to pay for my coffee/dinner/whatever when we hung out should have been my first clue he wasn't interested in me romantically. If the OP did similar behavior with his girl she may have interpreted that as "He's not offering to pay, therefore this is not a date. He must just think of me as a friend..."

Did I flirt? Yes. I've learned to smile, bite my lip and give the "I want to jump you" eye as good as the best of them. He seemed to respond well to my flirting but he could've just been humoring me or enjoying the attention. Guys do that.

I'm chalking it all up to "He wasn't interested". He wants to be my friend that's why he's still in my face, emailing/calling/etc. I'm taking the advice I've given the OP. It's too painful and weird to be "just friends" with someone you like.

BOTTOM LINE: This is just how some girls open up. It's subtle but I thought it was very clear that I liked him. If guys don't reciprocate a girl will assume (rightfully or wrongfully) that he's not interested, lick her wounds, and move on to someone who is interested. That is my lesson (and drawn out point) to the OP. Man up and go after what you want! Otherwise you may not get it.

Well, to make things clear me and her were never actually friends. We see eachother once a week but only with others and we chit chat away (atleast we did, before she went cold) about the most pointless stuff.

Also, paying for stuff was actually the other way around, it was like I was the girl : /. She insisted on paying almost EVERYTHING for me, and she did it so fast and sneaky I didn't even see her do it. I always tried to give it back to her but she refused to take it and almost got mad if I was being persistent.

Anyway another update I got from my friend was that she did not regret kissing that dude but she doesn't want to be in a relationship anytime soon. Anyway from the way things are now I think I'm going to pull away while I still have my dignity. I won't be making any effort anymore to talk to her. Must be easy considering she completley ignores me when the other dude is around.