Need a little advice

[thewhiterabbit]

Please cut this off now. With the exception of the child, I've experienced the same things. My ex best friend of the last 4 years did the same with me that entire time. I thought we would be together if he would just end his relationship, but guess what? We weren't! For a few months after ending his 6 year relationship he told me he didn't want another girlfriend, ever. Then a few months later he had a girl that made him feel better than anyone he'd ever met (yes he told me this even though he knew of my feelings because i was his "best friend"), but he still felt the need to be with me, too. 3 relationships ended without him wanting me for anything more than an emotional and sexual surrogate during and between the "loves of his life". I got away. It's not something anyone should have to deal with. It most likely will end the same for you. I think you should get away without telling him of your feelings. I know my pain got worse when I told my "friend" about my feelings. I know you probably won't listen to me, but you have much going for you to ruin it with this. I wish every single day that I could go back and change things. Cut them off early. It may seem hard, but it's easier than it will be later.

Also, please don't let him get you pregnant. Obviously, this isn't going to be what keeps him around, as he has a kid with the girl you want him to leave. It'll cause you so much pain, that you'll barely be able to stand, but can't get away from because you'll want your child to know his/her father!!!!

[Gigabitch]

Your friends are giving you bad advice. If you "go for yours", you'll just end up exactly where his girlfriend is now, right in the middle of a shitstorm. I want to slap you for not using contraception. It's women like you that make the rest of us look bad.

Have some ****ing self respect and at least make sure you don't get pregnant while wallowing in this destructive experience that falls so short of what a relationship should be. What did your parents teach you- to act like this? You should be ashamed of yourself, and the guy you're ****ing should jump off a bridge.

[hazeleyes]

Whoa hold up...first off...don't bring my parents into this. They are the best parents I could ask for and it was MY choice to do what I did & it has NOTHING to do with how they raised me cause honestly shit would've hit the fan if they knew, and because I chose not to use protection with ONE guy does not make me a bad person. I think I've done pretty good being the only one out of ALL my female friends who does not have a kid...so don't get it twisted.

[vashti]

You haven't even finished school yet, and you think you should be congratulated for not getting knocked up yet? Who cares what your friends have done? Why would you want to be compared to the worst case scenario? I know most college girls are NOT having babies. THAT should be your goal.

I don't think anyone says you are a bad person, just irresponsible. And you are hooking yourself up to a bad guy.

[thewhiterabbit]

Letting a guy blow his load inside of you with no contraception is extremely irresponsible, and if it takes you being insulted to realize that then so be it. If not yourself then think about the child that you'll be incredibly lucky to not have at this point. No good will come of this without a child involved, but even worse if there is one.

[hazeleyes]

I know it is irresponsible, but I came here for advice not to be attacked because I never stopped him. All the times we had sex & he never pulled out once..I honestly doubt I'll get pregnant.

[thewhiterabbit]

I know it is irresponsible, but I came here for advice not to be attacked because I never stopped him. All the times we had sex & he never pulled out once..I honestly doubt I'll get pregnant.

I understand that you don't want to be attacked, but you aren't understanding the ramifications of what you are doing. It's not his duty to pull out, but it's your duty as an intelligent woman to protect yourself. To realize that this isn't what you need right now. You need to look after yourself because no one else will. You came here seeking advice, and our advice to you is to stay as far away from this two timing, immature user! That includes not having his child.

[to-cinderella]

Whoa hold up...first off...don't bring my parents into this. They are the best parents I could ask for and it was MY choice to do what I did & it has NOTHING to do with how they raised me cause honestly shit would've hit the fan if they knew, and because I chose not to use protection with ONE guy does not make me a bad person. I think I've done pretty good being the only one out of ALL my female friends who does not have a kid...so don't get it twisted.

Hi hazeleyes, i agree, it was your choice and you are suffering already enough of that, no need for more jugments here. I think you friend is kind of an ass**le, not a very good man, he is using you the way he likes, of course he is not forsing you, it was your choixe, but how often are you really happy with him? I got an impresion, that he making more damge to you than giving you any happines... my advice will be to stop it, or asking him where is it going...

But is always easy to give advises, but not follow them.

I hope you will find a good way to be happy does not matter what do you decide iin this situation.

[mikechudej]

What you should be doing at the moment

1. FOCUS on your academic goal
2. Ask yourself this question --> Is this a relationship that you wanted? Seriously, taking a quiet time and really think about it.
3. Start using condom from now on, No condom = No Sex, EVER. "..I honestly doubt that I'll get pregnant." This is not good enough.

Any guy can "knocked you up" but it take a REAL Man to raise a family!

Keep a distance from him for now. It will give you a clearer view.

Mike

[hazeleyes]

I am going to focus on my school work. By this time next year I WILL be a college graduate. There's no doubt in my mind about that, and I am happy when I'm with him. I still get the "butterflies" in my stomach like I did that first time when we went to the zoo together & he grabbed & held my hand as we walked. Also, he's not a bad guy. Yes, he's a player, but he doesn't sell drugs, he's not a ''thug''. He works legit jobs, and is a very sweet person. At least I see that side of him. I might see him later on, one of my male friends said to just tell him he makes me happy, but to guard my heart. All my female friends are saying ''well he looked for you when you lost contact, he moved here, maybe its meant to be." very confusing.

[hazeleyes]

Now he's leaving again tonight and doesn't know when he'll be back & I can't stop crying. I just got him back in my life & he's out already. It's not fair

[nesyaatalia]

It’s better to keep your feelings yourself because he already has a girlfriend.
There are heaps of men out there.

[girl68]

because I chose not to use protection with ONE guy does not make me a bad person.

You're right it makes you stupid. It's not like you didn't use protection with a bf, long term, and tested. You slept with a manwhore who already knocked up a girl.

You know what does make you a bad person? Plotting to steal another girls man. If he wanted you and only you he would have left his gf to be with you, only you.

Have some self respect. This guys a douche and you're the little hoe that is choosing repeatedly to tresspass another womans territory. Shame on you.

[girl68]

I know it is irresponsible, but I came here for advice not to be attacked because I never stopped him. All the times we had sex & he never pulled out once..I honestly doubt I'll get pregnant.

Oh jesus just when I thought it couldn't get any worse she says: if I'm not preggo yet, I doubt I can be. Jesus, have you never been to sex ed? What makes you think you're so special that you're not going to get knocked up? Pure stupidity?

[hazeleyes]

You're right it makes you stupid. It's not like you didn't use protection with a bf, long term, and tested. You slept with a manwhore who already knocked up a girl.

You know what does make you a bad person? Plotting to steal another girls man. If he wanted you and only you he would have left his gf to be with you, only you.

Have some self respect. This guys a douche and you're the little hoe that is choosing repeatedly to tresspass another womans territory. Shame on you.

whoa..check yourself..I ain't a ho and I NEVER plotted to take him away. I was in the picture waaaaaaayyyyy before that bitch came along. But w/e it doesn't matter ..I'm done with him.