My boyfriend doesn't understand why my orgasms should be as important as his. Help?

[Mish]

He's a genuinely sweet person outside of sex-related matters, so I don't think he /means/ to make me depressed... I think he really just doesn't understand why orgasming is important to girls, and it's not just a guy thing. In fact, I'm pretty sure he doesn't understand that pleasure in general is just as important to girls, because he just keeps on humping if I ever tell him I feel sore.

I disagree with the notion that he doesn't want to make you depressed and he says what he says because he's not educated on the subject. It sounds like he generally doesn't respect you.

Try to deny him once and you will probably see a whole new side of him.

[LailaK]

I don't care how "nice" he may seem. He's treating you like sh*t and therefore is not a nice guy. This smacks of mind games and emotional abuse so I only have one piece of advice: DUMP THAT LOSER!

He probably feels inadequate about pleasing a woman so he pushes the blame off on you. He's a jerk. You need to drop him like a bad habit and move on.

If you don't want to do that, draw some lines in the sand. Why should he be the only person in your relationship to get pleasure. If he won't give you oral, don't give it to him. If he won't see to your pleasure, don't see to his. You're not his sex servant. You're his girlfriend and he should treat you as such.

[intrepid1]

Well said. Go find a guy who lives to bring you pleasure-believe me, they're out there.

[OneQuestion]

Your man is HORRIBLE at sex and pleasing you... OMG, I should have my fiance read this to see how damn lucky she is!

I ALWAYS please my girl, weither I am horny or not!
-If we have sex, there is always 10 to 15 minutes of 4play first. I usually start by licking her nipples, pussy, and ass. Then ususally she will give me a blowjob, or we will do 69 a while. Then sex. During sex, she can take up to 30minutes or even an hour sometimes. I almost always finish her with sex(80% of the time), but when I just can't wait any longer, and I cum first - Then I lick her to finish her. Usually I lick her clit as I finger her pussy/ass, or sometimes she just wants me to lick her nipples while she does the work down there. But we BOTH ALWAYS finish.

-If she is horny, but I'm not, I am happy to give her oral basically anytime. Or use toys, etc.

I can't believe how horrible your man is, I'm sorry for you, get another man. His comment about not wanting to suck his dick when you were horny... WTF, he is a MORON...

What to do:
1. Try denying him sex. Explain to him sex isn't fun for you, because it is only about him. You need a partner who will want to please you too.
2. If he doesn't improve, leave him.

BTW, how long does he take to cum? Perhaps the above comment is right, that he is ashamed about his performance so he blames it on you. What suprises me is, if he doesn't last long, I would think he would want to please you, and give you oral, toys, whatever, so you were pleased.

[OneQuestion]

Better yet, have him read this forum, so he can see what a 3rd party thinks... If you are scared of him reading more than just this one post, you could print it.

It is 100% fine to ask help... Asking help online shouldn't be bad. Free therapy ;p

So perhaps do print this, and let him read my post above so he knows how other men please their girls.

[Kaius]

A man who loves his woman will make it a priority to please her. Sex isn't just an orgasm-fest. It's true intimate communication.
You can tell lots about a person's core behaviors through sex. You want a man who loves you and puts your needs above his.
I love my woman so much that her satisfaction makes me happy, which makes her happy, and so forth.
Don't have sex with a selfish partner..... it's more damaging than it appears.

[VincenzoG91]

He's a genuinely sweet person outside of sex-related matters, so I don't think he /means/ to make me depressed... I think he really just doesn't understand why orgasming is important to girls, and it's not just a guy thing. In fact, I'm pretty sure he doesn't understand that pleasure in general is just as important to girls, because he just keeps on humping if I ever tell him I feel sore.

I'm sorry, but I have trouble believing that he is otherwise a genuinely sweet person to you. It's one thing for him to be unaware of a problem, but you have assertively brought the problem to his attention, and he is refusing to do anything about it. He is very insistent that his own needs be met, and equally insistent about not fulfilling your needs. It would be one thing if he just a specific issue, like the saltiness, but he has multiple layers of excuses for his neglect. That is selfish and shows a lack of respect for you as a person. Stop making excuses for him. Tell him what you need, and if he can't deliver, then it's over. Life is too short to waste on selfish jerks like him.

Going out on a limb here, I would be unsurprised to hear that he is failing to contribute in other ways. He is probably smugly incapable of basic household tasks like doing his laundry, right? So he needs you to do his laundry for him because he's so helpless. Maybe I'm off-base here, but it fits a certain personality type. You're the responsible one who takes care of things, and he's the irresponsible one who needs you.