I've Lost All Meaning

[snogginwithyou]

Christian i know that what you're going through hurts, but try to find something to take your mind of the pain, to distract you. When i am depressed i go out for 3 hour long walks, 10 mile bike rides, the gym, i start a new hobby. I'm the type that can't sit still. They guy im currently with treats our relationship like a chore, and it makes me feel like shit, but i still love him...... so i get out, i stay busy. I do anything and everything i can to exhaust myself, that way i can sleep at night, because if i don't then i will realize i feel like shit, and i'll want to cry. At least distracting myself with all the extra physical activities gives me the illusion that im stronger than this, even if im not.
I got a fortune cookie today that said "you will soon have happiness in your love life" my first thought was bullshit!
I still think im not okay and i wont be for awhile. and neither will you. the only thing you can do is ride it out.
Im sorry that you were willing to give this woman your heart and she only kicked it in the dirt. Please don't give up on love, there is always someone there to love you

[ChristianonLI]

I really don't know what to say anymore. All I know is I need this woman to come to her senses, reverse this terrible slight against me and put the universe back on its originally intended path. Even if it's been months and she's clearly content with her new life, it just must happen. There can be no other way.

I visit her Facebook every day. Until recently I sent her emails and messages on Facebook every few days trying something...anything...to reverse this. Each and every time she would respond only indirectly by either joining a nasty titled Facebook group, making a vague and insulting status or getting all dressed up and posting new pictures of herself all dolled up on her wall. I know these were all replies because they'd happen within a few hours of my communication attempt having been received. She's juvenile, she's narcissistic and a few beers short of a 12 pack but I still love her dearly. I would still spend the rest of my life with her if given the chance. But I'm not going to be given the chance.

[LailaK]

This is not a flame. I think you should talk to a professional about your feelings.

There's nothing wrong with therapy. I think talking about your feelings with someone who won't judge you is beneficial to everyone. This is especially true if you are every entertaining thoughts of hurting yourself or someone else.

Many people fall into moments of despair. That doesn't make you weak. Your strength lies in how you get through and overcome it to be even better than before.

[cmacattack1]

You are in total control of seeing her facebook page. Stop. I had to stop myself too, and I've only been there about 6 times in the last five months. It's not doing you any good and you know this. The fact that she hasn't blocked you and is doing this to get a rise out of you shows she enjoys this attention and enjoys torturing you and does not respect you. You are subjecting yourself to this torture...why? Do you think you deserve it? No? Then why do you do it?

Stop saying you need her too. You don't.

You are just running on a hamster wheel in a cycle of self loathing. Haven't you had enough yet? Do you know that if you stop, the shittiness you are feeling WILL go away? Isn't that what this is about? To take away the pain you are in?