Hey, I hope some kind person will help me out:
I broke up with my girlfriend of 9 years, six months ago. I was a complete wreck for a while but I’m putting my life back on track now and I’m content to be single. The thing is: I cannot for the life of me stop thinking about her.
We both made sacrifices to be together, one was my job which I changed three years ago and still hate. I blamed her for my misery without even realising it. I made other mistakes and drove her away. Thinking back, things should have been different. She truly loved me at one time but I became remote and didn’t want to spend any time with her because I hated myself. I felt trapped in our house and in my job. I was too weak to act. She met someone online and told me she had feelings for him and it was unfair not to tell me. I felt betrayed and left. She didn’t try to stop me. Now I’m single, I realise that all my problems are easy to fix (except for her) and I’m almost there. I’ve learned some hard lessons and I feel like a new man.
Here’s the thing; I’m sure things would have worked out if I’d fixed my own problems sooner. We haven’t spoken for three months and I still wake up thinking about her every morning. I can’t concentrate at work. I have no idea what’s going on in her love life but I do want to speak to her again even if it’s just to get some closure or explain why I did what I did. I still love her and would do anything for another chance but I said and did things after we broke up that may be unforgivable. I also said I’d leave her alone to get on with her new life and she hasn’t said a word to me since.
My questions:
Does her lack of contact mean that she doesn’t care anymore?
Should I try to get in touch and if not, how can I forget her without closure?
Any other advice would be most appreciated!
Thanks for reading.