oral sex and my gf

[1waystreet]

I don't know how to ask this in a way that makes sense, but when me and gf (both 20) get intimate we usually tend to cuddle. No problem with that, cuddling is fun. When we cuddle she tends to get really touchy. We've been together for a couple months now and she has no problem with giving me hand jobs, and i get to play with her too. No complaints there.

But as soon as the oral sex comes she goes down on me for a few seconds and comes back up. I don't want her to stop but I don't want her to be forced into it. I never ask her to go down on me, she does it voluntarily when we cuddle and she won't let me go down on her either the one time I tried. I've never had a BJ last longer than 15 seconds with her. After that we make out some more, touch each other some more, then after another 30 minutes or so she will go down on me for 10 seconds.

It's not frustrating, it's just confusing, it makes me wonder if she wants to do that at all. We haven't had sex with each other yet, but we both have with previous relationships. That confuses me even more.

[Doc Durian]

Maybe she's after a root and figures if she gives you the full treatment, the root won't happen as quick.

Maybe she's after the rumpy pumpy?

[lahnnabell]

She's probably not very confident in her own body, or her ability to give oral sex. You can help this by telling her how much you LOVE it when she goes down on you.

[lahnnabell]

And how much you love her body. Find some compliments to pay her that are specific to her too. Don't just say, "You're so sexy". That gets old. Tell her you love running your hands over her curves, or how you love how firm her ass is, or how much you love to feel her soft hair on your skin.

[Gigabitch]

So, I'm understanding that a fifteen second blowjob is as far as you've ever gone with her, yes? I think she just isn't ready to take it that far (though she should stop doing it if she's not really willing to finish what she started). I think you should tell her you want her to keep going. Tell her you think about it all the time now and it's the hottest thing you can imagine. Ask nicely.

[Kaius]

I think she might not want to turn you on so much that sex would imminently happen? I remember my ex-GF, before we started sleeping together, would stop BJ just so I wouldn't jump her. Eventually we knew each other well enough, started sleeping together, and she would give me loooooong BJ until I finish in her mouth!!!

[Di741111]

you need to show her that you really enjoy her BJ when she goes down on you, I think she doesn't have confidence in herself (at least for the oral sex part), if she knows you like it a lot, she might do a lot more.
so make some moaning or just straight up tell her that you love it, and you wish you can get more from her.

[Tedel]

Maybe she's after a root and figures if she gives you the full treatment, the root won't happen as quick.

I agree. She might not want to feel you ejaculate in her mouth but in... well... her, taking the short oral as part of the foreplay only.

[DonkeyKong]

My ex was kind of the same way when we first started doing that stuff. The oral would be stop-and-start, and for a while she was getting really frustrated because she couldn't make me come. I didn't really know how to tell her if she wanted me to, she had to keep going for longer than that. But the thing is we were both virgins at the time, and neither of us really knew what we were doing. Do what lahnnabell said, and try to work up her confidence by complimenting the things she does well. I hate to use the word "training," but that's essentially what it is. Positive reinforcement goes a long way. Eventually once she's more comfortable and practiced, she'll improve. At the beginning of our relationship, my ex was pretty nervous at the thought of even putting my, uh, member...in her mouth at all. By a year or so later she was going deep, minding the stepchildren, strokin' the shaft and makin' a gooey mess all over herself.

So just let her know what you like and eventually she'll become a pro at pleasing you.

EDIT

Oh, and about the whole thing of her not wanting you to go down on her...that's probably a self-confidence issue as well. Think about it, having your face buried between a girl's legs is about as up close and personal as you get, and if she's not confident or comfortable with her body, she's going to be uneasy about it. So you really have to make sure that you make her feel like she can be that open to you. At the beginning of my last relationship, my girl was so self-conscious about her body she didn't even let me see her with her pants off for about 6 months. I mean, we were doing other stuff besides sex, but she was deathly afraid of me seeing her naked legs, because that was what she was so self-conscious about, so obviously me giving her oral was totally out of the question. But once she finally got past that stage and I did get to go down on her, I made a point of letting her know how much I enjoyed doing it (because I did...I'm one of those guys who almost enjoys that more than sex actually...) and after that things were incredible. It's all about taking it slow and building trust with each other.