How to let it go?

[Raffles]

Good Morning everyone,

I've been working all-day daily with a girl for more than a year now, we grew to be good, trusting friends, meeting up outside of work for meals/general outings and as you can guess I inevitably developed feelings for her, stronger than any I've known.

And now the problems in no particular order; I am 21 and she is 29, I am english and she is an alternate nationality. I'll clarify, these ain't problems to ME, but to her the age seems to be far too big an issue, otherwise perhaps things would be different. In the year we've been the way we are, she has been looking for relationship elsewhere, and it's like a kick in the teeth that other men get handed on a plate a chance I will never have.

She is aware of how I feel, she kinda forced it out of me because of 'talk' amongst the others as I'd already recognised that she was not interested in me in that way, and she gave the 'just friends' call. She spoke to one of my best mates when we were on a night out once and gave the 'love him (me) as a friend' line.

So by now I make the conclusion that it won't matter what I do, it will never happen. I recognise that I've been in denial for far too long and that I've got to drop it. Easier said than done, I see her every working day and we are still good friends, regardless of what's going on in my head, I'm the only person she feels she can trust fully at the workplace. I often put my needs aside or grit my teeth to honour our friendship. The best term for what I feel like is 'sideline guy'...

I've never had a girlfriend and my recent attempts have fizzled out very quickly simply because my feelings for this girl are too strong and I always wish I was with her instead of whoever else...she is on my mind almost constantly, and rarely in a positive 'what good times we had', but instead more like 'why did it have to be like this'....it's not doing much good!

I applied for a job elsewhere as I was pretty unhappy with the situation workwise and with this girl, and was offered an interview. Shortly after the application I was given a new boss who was much improved and I felt that perhaps I could settle nicely after this. In the end I did not turn up for the interview as I decided I was OK staying put.....nope! I still feel all the above, and I don't know what I should do!

Can I forget my love for her, stay put and carry on? Should I put some distance between, get away from the heat?