What do I do if my brother forbids me to talk to a guy?

[girl68]

Sweetie you have no idea what you're talking about in my situation. I think you're talking to him so you can "prove a point". This is the wrong way to do it. You're going to feel stupid once it's over and you realize that you fought this hard for basically nothing. You don't ACTUALLY want to talk to him. You just want to piss your brother off.

If you want boys to talk to you, stop coming off like a stuck up girl. Do something about the way you carry yourself, attempt to be more approachable. You should be putting your effort into THAT not pissing your brother off.

[Tuffytuff]

I'm not saying I MUST talk to him. We just had a casual talk and it was about how tall we were which is why I'm getting mad at my brother for flipping out and saying I'm not allowed to talk to him no matter what the topic is. I like the guy but my brother tells me everything they talk about so I know what he's all about so it's not like I'm going to go out with him. My brother knows this but he doesn't care. And no that's not the reason why I want to talk to him plus I don't need to talk to him so badly I'm just mad that he won't even let me talk to him. Also the reason that he wants to talk to me is because he likes me but is afraid to because I'm his friends sister. They're not close to each other and don't plan to be any time soon trust me I know my brother. Is it so bad to be at least friends with the guy like the others I've had in the past. The only difference is that my brother knows this guy likes me and would act like that to any guy he knew who liked me. My brother is friends with him and so are many people. Just because someone is no good doesn't mean you judge them based on that especially if you want to be friends. If they're good people but are just into bad things doesn't mean you automatically judge them based on that. You keep a certain distance from them but don't avoid them when they just want to talk which is what I'm doing.

[LailaK]

I don't agree with everyone else. I understand how you feel and I don't like it when older male family members try and dictate how you live your life.

If your brother can't give you a good reason why you should steer clear, tell him to shove it. It's your life and you have the right to make you own mistakes and decisions.

[girl68]

The part that gets me is you honestly believe this guy wants to JUST be your friend your brother knows this, and I know this. He likes you, he doesn't want to befriend you to just chat about your height. If you must, tell your brother to piss off then. Or you can ask him exactly why you he doesn't want you 2 talking. If he's got nothing legit, then fine tell him to screw himself that you're going to talk to whomever you want unless he can come up with a legit reason and to why conversation must not go on.

Somehow, I doubt this is going to work in your favor though.

[Tuffytuff]

I don't want to piss my brother off I'm not that kind of a person my brother loves to do that to me. You still don't get it do you? If my brother didn't tell me not to talk to him I would have just been the way I always was but I find it ridiculous to not let me talk to a guy over a one sentence conversation. And only over this computer am I fighting this hard so I could get my point of view across to people like you. In reality there's no point in arguing this to my brother because he could careless on what I have to say even though it's my decision to make. I don't come off as a stuck up girl on purpose on the otherhand people see me as unapproachable based on how I look. What do you intend me to do put a smile on my face for 7 hours just to seem approachable to people who judge only on how you look and how funny you are. It sucks that some people aren't willing to talk to me but I'm not changing on how I look especially for them. There are people who look past that and end up talking to me and trust me I don't get a kick a t pissiing off my brother in fact I sometimes feel bad for him. I don't ever make the first move to talk to someone unless I have to most of the time I'm just quiet. He talked to me first I was just going to ignore him of course not because I'm stuck up but because I"m not good at talking one on one to people. I don't take joy at pissing my brother off because even though he's older than me I've proven countless times to be more mature than him.

[Tuffytuff]

I know he doesn't want to be just friends but seeing on how he knows my brother doesn't like the idea of him going out with me he probably won't ask me. He does respect my brother as a friend. But I would keep him on that friend line and not let him cross it.

[Tuffytuff]

I know and my brother knows this as well since he tells me about him everytime so there really isn't anything (at least that I know of) I don't really know. Plus they've only known each other for one class period for a few months. When I ask him why I can't talk to him he just says because I don't want you to, and since he's told me mostly all the bad things about him he can't really say anything new so he says because I say so.

[girl68]

Ok seriously is there only one right answer? You complain your bro won't let you talk to this guy, but you won't stick up for yourself? But then you sit a whine that your brother tells you what to do. Then you say no one ever wants to talk to you because you come off as stuck up or whatever, so I suggest you do something to not appear like that and you say "I'm not changing". You have just proven how mature you really are. Best of luck.

[Tuffytuff]

I am clueless in life in general but when it comes to for what's best for me and my future I'm confident in that since my parents raised me the best they could which paid off. I don't go gaga over guys and let them cloud my better judgement and I see both sides of things. I want to get out of this horrible lifestyle I'm in and get a good education and so far I have all A's in my classes. My teachers say I'm their best student but that's probably because I don't really talk much and focus only on my work. They also say I would fit in perfectly in a college environment. I know where my priorities lie and aim for a better life then the one I'm living in just like how my parents wanted me to do. I worry more about school than what I'm doing this weekend with my friends or who I should text since I can't even afford texting. I don't get along well with my peers mostly because my interests are not at all on what their interests are and they hate it and find it boring when you tell them to work hard in school especially if you even go near that topic they just stop talking to you altogether. The kids I'm surrounded by care only about boys, getting wasted or blazed, bragging about beating up someone, or practically shouting out on how they could careless if they don't do good in school (which is a lie they do care about their grades but are too lazy to do anything). I am mature for my age or maybe I just see the logical and obvious side of things which most kids have seem to have lost as they grew older. When it come to the how the world is and how to survive in it I'm clueless but what I find more important and my beliefs along with what I think is right from observing on how my parents make all the mistakes, I learn from them so I won't have to experience it the hard way, I won't faulter in the way I view myself just because you want to compare me to other kids who don't know what mature even means.

[Tuffytuff]

Actually my brother has said he wanted to punch him many times. Plus I would put the right amount of distance between him and me so he won't ask me. If he does then I'll just reject him since everyone is against him.

[Tuffytuff]

How old are you? Because you sound pretty young. I doubt your brother is worried about you TALKING to this boy, and I am pretty sure he knows that this boy wouldn't be interested in just TALKING to you.

Do you have some valid reason to believe your brother has malicious intent? is there some motive that would make him not want what is good for you?

For the record, i have two teenagers. I never approve of a boy hanging around my girl until her older brother tells me the kid is a good one. Your parents don't know this boy the way your brother does.

My brother doesn't know him that well he just judges based on what he's told. I know the guy isn't interested in just talking but that is all I will let him do. And it's true when I say that he doesn't want me TALKING to the guy because he told me. He knows I'm cautious and responsible but he doesn't care. Some parents don't know their kid like they think they do trust me. When the parents aren't there that's when their true colors come out. My brother does it all the time but maybe you son is different which is good for your two younger daughters because my brother treated me like crap when we were younger and still does.

[Tuffytuff]

Why do you make it sound like I'm being bullied and picked on? I just don't go to people and say "I'm not changing" I do that with how I present myself and people see that and probably that's why they don't want to communicate with me. My school is like that. Plus changing how you look is easier said than done. When I do talk I'm nice and respectful unlike some idiots who don't have manners. But I learn to deal with it and someday there will be someone who accepts me for how I look and who I am so I don't go looking to please other people other than the ones I care about.

[LailaK]

I have to agree with girl68 on this one. I don't know how old you are but you need to man up (woman up? ) and live your own life. "I don't want my brother to be mad at me..." who says that? I can understand not wanting to upset your parents, but your brother? I wish my brother would try to tell me what to do. I'd laugh in his face.

If you're going to let him dictate to you what to do, that's on you. Don't complain about it when he tells you to do something you don't want to do.

Word.

[Mish]

Sweetie you have no idea what you're talking about in my situation. I think you're talking to him so you can "prove a point". This is the wrong way to do it. You're going to feel stupid once it's over and you realize that you fought this hard for basically nothing. You don't ACTUALLY want to talk to him. You just want to piss your brother off.

What girl said^

If you want to "fight your brother's control over you" you should pick a different issue Tuffy. I think you have lost the moral high ground on this one.

[Petit Papillon]

Here is her other thread ,maybe you guys find more infos you need... Unfortunately noone saw her posting the same thread at the right time, now it's too late to just merge to posts so I post the link.
And to OP, don't post the same thread two times ok?? People get confused seeing two threads about the same problem, got it??

[URL="http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/40230-liking-type-guy-just-wrong.html"]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/40230-liking-type-guy-just-wrong.html[/URL]

PS. FYI , I close the other thread