Is he still in love with me?

[everybodybutme]

Broken up with the bf. ANd I still ove him, and hurting because I know and feel he doesn't love me anymore. I cannot accept the fact that he doesn't love me.

Here are the exchange of texts we had earlier:

Him: I just wanna say that I learned a lot about myself from you and you've helped me become a stronger person. Thank you. I really hope we can stay in touch as much as possible.

Me: In short, you fell out of love with me and are now moving on. I've started to accept that.

Him: Moving On?

Him: I'm not looking for anyone else. I haven't so much as kissed or attempted to be with anyone. I just wanna focus on film right now.

Me: We're not going to be good friends. I totally understand that you're busy with you're school and other stuffs right now. What I'm mad about is you had the time to CHEAT AND NOT COMMUNICATE WITH ME ON TOP OF BEING "BUSY". I've to move on.

Him: Ok. Well, I hate feeling like I'm losing a good friend, I'm sure you know how it feels. We see each other practically everyday when we were together.More time spent than with anyone else.If you ever have a problem in life, I am here to listen to you and do anything to I can to help.

Me: You don't love me anymore or you never really did. I just cannot accept that fact as of right now. But I'm gonna be over you soon.I still love you and I just want it gone.

Me: I hope you understand I'm still hurting and haven't accepted the fact that you're not in love with me. Good night.

Him: I LOVE YOU. HAVE AND ALWAYS WILL. SOMETHING IS FUNDAMENTALLY WRONG WITH US WHEN WE'RE TOGETHER. WE FIGHT AND ARGUE CONSTANTLY. IT'S NOT GOOD FOR US.




You may ask why I'm writing these. I have this incessant need and want to know if he still loves me or not. If he says yes, then of course I'm still hoping, but in case he says no, all the more reason for me to let go and move on. Personally, I'm leaning towards him falling out of love with me. "I love you. HAVE and always will." HAVE??? Maybe I'm reading too much into this.

Please, clarify these things to me. Does he still love me?

[lovesprouts]

He says he does. That doesn't seem to be the issue here. You seem to be stuck on whether he loves you or not whereas he seems to be more like we are in love but not good for each other. Sometimes love is just not enough! Sad but true. Think about it.

[fallenone]

He obviously loves you, and obviously has a stronger patience than most men, because at the point you kept texting off subject most men would have just stopped it there, so he does love you. Just keep moving forward and dont focus on this so much, love is wonderful but its who we are with and are meant to BE with, that is the true wonder in it all.

[cmacattack1]

While you can love somebody, if it isn't working out, you have to let it go. It's painful, it's difficult, and it's alot easier when they are doing the dumping. He was the ones that lost that feeling first (and disrespected you by cheating) and let it die when they weren't being honest about how they felt (lacking the communication). Do you want to be just friends with somebody like that after everything you have gone through? Does he even realize what he has done and what he is currently doing to you by being friends? I don't think so. Whether he loves you or not is irrelevant. He is bringing you so much pain and if you are thinking about yourself in this, you would want to remove yourself from this situation so the healing can begin. If he thinks this kind of behavior is acceptable, I'd like to see him really lose something meaningful to him and get completely dropped on his ass. What a wake up call that would be.

You can't make yourself stop thinking about him. You know he means alot to you. You have to do your best though to take him out of your life so you can heal and be the happy person you once were so you can be happy with somebody else. Please cut contact with him (no phone calls, emails, texts), and if he keeps trying, keep reminding him that you need to be on your own and need space without his interference. Don't be guilted by the friend thing. Don't look at his facebook. Put everything you have of you two away and out of sight. Get out and try to do things with your friends, (as shitty a mood as you will be in) and don't sit around sulking about him. There is alot to do out there and don't let life pass you by while you wallow in despair. It's not easy but it will be much easier on you if you make the best possible effort you can to keep busy and do different things and keep your mind occupied.

[everybodybutme]

Update:

The dude has been texting me. asking me how my day was, Of course I'd reply in short and brief messages, like, yes, no, great. Until last Thursday, he asked me to come over to his place to hang to watch our favorite TV show, V. I went there, of course, acted like his friend, avoiding all talks that may lead to our recent relationship. After the show, he asked me to cuddle with him, of course, which I complied to. I know I know, I shouldn't have had complied but, the offer was there,. Cuddling leads to great sex to sleeping over. Friday, I found out he has hosted some guy/s he met online on craigsilst. UGH. I was expecting to feel bleh after hearing it, but I FELT DEVASTATED. I THOUGHT I WAS OKAY THOUGHT I WAS/HAD STARTED TO MOVE ON, BUT OBV I HAVEN'T! I want to avoid him not reply to his messages, but I can't bring myself to do it. I thought trying a different approach like ust being friends with him, but not too indifferent would help me, but it didn't. I don't know what else to do.

I seriously want to ask him if he's in love with me, although I know it's irrelevant. HE texted me last night that he hasn't even kissed or slept with someone else ever since our breakup. I don't know if I should believe him or not. WHY DID HE EVEN TEXT ME THAT? IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE! I DON'T WANT TO TAKE THIS BREAKUP AS HARD AS I'VE BEEN TAKING IT! BUT I CAN'T!

[lahnnabell]

Sounds like you're on the backburner. You give it up too easily. He asks you to cuddle, you comply. Sleep over, why not? Do you have any self-respect?

[cmacattack1]

You have to dig deep and find out what you are made of. Do you really think that your life cannot be lived without him in it? You certainly can't help how you feel but I bet while all that was happening, your insides were screaming at you that it was wrong. You gave in though and walked into a situation potentially wrought with complications. The more you put yourself through, the more pain it's going to bring. We all have told you so and will continue to do so until you decide to remove yourself from the situation.

[LailaK]

Why do you care? He broke up with you and doesn't want to be with you. Telling him "We're not going to be friends" was the smartest thing you said to him. Stick to that and initiate no contact.

I'm a firm believer in "break up=break up" it doesn't equal becoming friends. That's too messy.

[everybodybutme]

I was so stupid.

Last night, I had a 3some with the exbf and some dude. I didn't enjoy it, not just because it was painful to watch the exbf getting it on with another person, but the other person was just plain ugly. The exbf told me the same thing, we both didn't get off.

I discovered something last night after the 3some. It happened when the exbf went down to the first floor to give back the other person's iphone since he was in a hurry to get home. While the exbf was downstairs, I read the exchange of messages between him and Tony (his exbf) and Stephanie (his best friend).

Him: Broke it off with Vince, for good
Stephanie: Awwh
Him: I saw Tony, dropped by his place with a friend, then right after I left to drop by friend off to the train station, Tony text me saying he wants to see me more.
Stephanie: And???
Him: I told him I've a lot of things to do at home. I was strong. So hard. He looked great.



"I WAS STRONG? SO HARD??""

Wow, I just found out that all the while I was miserable because of our breakup, the exbf is thinking of his ex! If he's really over him, he wouldn't have said, SO HARD... So hard what? So hard to decline his offer of staying at his pace for one night?

D@mn! I just realized I was a rebound...

[lahnnabell]

People who haven't given themselves a proper grieving period to get over an ex will rebound. Hell, even those of us who do take the time to reflect on break-ups still rebound. It's important to learn from it so that next time you can call it like it is. He was probably riding high on the fact that a new person cared about him and wanted to indulge the feeling. It was selfish of him given that he wasn't over his ex, but now you can begin to move on. Let it go.

[everybodybutme]

on the other hand, maybe he chose to not sleep over at his ex's place because, he knew it was the right thing to do, or maybe, jut maybe, he thought of me...

[cmacattack1]

Listen to what you are saying and look at the person is in the mirror? Do you even recognize that person?

Please don't put yourself through any more of this. You are entirely in control of continuing to hang out and talk to him or not. You are no longer a victim.

[lahnnabell]

To the OP, no one is going to change their opinion regardless of whether or not you add this minute details that seem to add up in your head. You are reading into all of it far too much and that alone is a sign that you have lost yourself in this relationship (which no longer exists anymore).

[maclhen]

well..obviously he still in love with you..he says he do..but he doesn't want to have any commitment with you..well if you think you recession will help you to move on,then,go for it..i mean you should have to do it!!!..And don't feel any guilt in your self..At least you know that you did everything just for him..And he knows that!And the most important is you respect his decision..Go on girl!!!









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[maclhen]

obviously he does