First Love second chance i guess..

[wondering3]

My ex and i broke up around thankgiving of 09 because we just could not stop fighting..when we agreed, we were sooo compatible..when we fougtht however, things got ugly..yesterday, she called me to see if we should try things one more time before we really move on..we are both sophomores in college so meeting new people shouldnt be too hard, but it will be hard at the same time because we will both have to get over each other..since the breakup, i was devastated up untill about a month ago when i finally started to get motivated to do school work and what not..so now i feel like im back to square one where i made the decision to end it with her..is it worth it to try things again? we both were eachothers first lovers, and neither of us want to ruin that..we dont want anyone else coming in between us in that sense..should i give it another shot? we tried off and on for 6 months last year before i finally ended it for good..any advise would really help!

[WorkInProgress]

Well your story sounds a lot like mine. When she and I were good, we were AMAZING together... but when it was bad, it was the most emotionally painful and draining experience of my life! I do not know what to tell you here. If the relationship can be salvaged, then it is worth a try. For me and my girlfriend, we finally called it quits for good after the last two months of on again off again fighting.

Best of luck my friend!

[lostlars]

I think that is the trend of all us broken hearted people here on the forum. We are all so hooked on the good times we can't forget them even though the relationship is simply unfunctionable. I would continue with the time apart. I know if you try it again the same issues will arise and you will have fights and breakup and go through with the pain all over again. If its really meant to be it will happen. How do you know though unless you guys live life without eachother for awhile?

[Jas_mine]

You need to be sure you are not just picking up from where you left off simply because it is easier than having to form a brand spanking new relationship. Being afraid of the unknown is never a great reason to get back with an ex. To be completely honest, nobody can make this decision for you, from a sensible point of view, common sense and all that, it is evident that you have tried to make it work for around six months, do you want to waste more time trying to make something work that was never destined to? Maybe you should break free of the cycle - you have a new chapter beginning in life, you should embrace it, seems like you have been engrossed in all that school work recently which has quite possibly aided you in getting over her. You are only back at square one because she contacted you.

That was a somewhat cynic's opinion, the hopeless romantic in me says that you should live a life without regrets, you really don't want to spend the next few years wondering 'what if?'. However, the issue here is not whether you get back together with her or not, it is why you keep arguing - nothing will come of your relationship until you address this. What are you constantly fighting about and why? This is what is most important, and therein lies your answer as well as your solution.

[wondering3]

Thanks for all the replies, they definitely help..any more input would also be nice! Thanks agian

[Kyouhen]

If you get into another relationship with her, you need to make sure that you address the problems you had before. Not on a emotional level, but in a general sense, and that is difficult because they are emotional issues. Love is a miraculous thing in a world of increasing divorces and broken hearts, but it doesn't mean you must sacrifice yourself completely for it. If you want a relationship, you need to make sure your both in it, not a full fusion of you two.

Sometimes we get so lost in our love, we forget to see the bigger picture, if you get back with her don't forget what you have learned from the break-up, and if she cannot maturely try to address those issues, your better off saving whats left of a friendship then destroying it with a desperate attempt of love.

[cmacattack1]

I don't like how you already viewed it as to going back to square one and lost all your progress. You guys have dated, broken up, gotten back together to the same result. If those kind of issues aren't addressed, put behind you, and you haven't been on your own long enough to mature or change, getting back together now would be a crazy mistake and would end the same way. You make it sound like moving on is the end of anything in the future, when you have so much life ahead of you to live and there is always a slight chance you guys could end up together in the end. It isn't likely but you have no way of knowing.

To rush back into something could be a terrible mistake if it's too soon. The more times you break up, the more it's going to be engrained in your heads that it can't work out. It's a delicate situation I wouldn't want to try again right now. You can speak for yourself and her progress, but what about her? It's going to take both o you. You have no way of knowing if she's ready (even if she says she is, it could very well be out of lonliness). Time is your friend here and while it's true that she could find somebody else in the meantime, it's not likely that it's going to be the person she is going to spend the rest of her life with. Remember that no matter how it works out, you will be okay and you will find somebody in the long run, whether it's her or somebody else. Push forward with a little confidence and see where you are in some time.

[Kyouhen]

I don't like how you already viewed it as to going back to square one and lost all your progress. You guys have dated, broken up, gotten back together to the same result. If those kind of issues aren't addressed, put behind you, and you haven't been on your own long enough to mature or change, getting back together now would be a crazy mistake and would end the same way. You make it sound like moving on is the end of anything in the future, when you have so much life ahead of you to live and there is always a slight chance you guys could end up together in the end. It isn't likely but you have no way of knowing.

To rush back into something could be a terrible mistake if it's too soon. The more times you break up, the more it's going to be engrained in your heads that it can't work out. It's a delicate situation I wouldn't want to try again right now. You can speak for yourself and her progress, but what about her? It's going to take both o you. You have no way of knowing if she's ready (even if she says she is, it could very well be out of lonliness). Time is your friend here and while it's true that she could find somebody else in the meantime, it's not likely that it's going to be the person she is going to spend the rest of her life with. Remember that no matter how it works out, you will be okay and you will find somebody in the long run, whether it's her or somebody else. Push forward with a little confidence and see where you are in some time.

I'm actually suffering heart break myself, so this really helps me as well, thank you for that

[wondering3]

yea i agree, this really helps me..i knew it was too soon but to hear someone else say it and explain to me in detail what i am thinking really helps..it really sucks to give her up and know that someone else could make her happy..but thats part of life i guess..right now we're not working and thats a risk i have to take..thanks for the help!