Hi everyone, I just want some honest answers from guys about what they say to us girls.
My guy and I were together for 2 years, and on and off for the last year. We started as best friends. We never labeled eachother as bf or gf but thats what we were. We were living together and all. He would always say things when we'd fight such as, "I dont see us ever being in a real relationship because of the way we started.' We had been best friends and co-workers for months and hooked up drunk and it grew from there. I dont understand his statement because I feel that friends turning into lovers is the most awesome way to fall in love.
We did everything together like a couple would. We went everywhere together, kissed goodbye, valentines gifts, the whole deal, we just didn't have a label. He wasn't cheating on me because we lived together and spent every night together. Why the hell not the label? He would always tell me I am the coolest girl he has ever met in his life. Twice when he was drunk he told me he loved me. When I brought it up the next day he would make an excuse that he never said that, and he loved me but wasnt in love with me. He always called me his girl, yet told people he was single. It was THE MOST CONFUSING BS I HAVE EVER BEEN THROUGH.
Most the time I didnt dig into this bs cuz whats the point. Everything was so much fun and awesome minus the labels and admitting what we really were. We " broke up" a year and a half later. He totally cut me off. 3 months later I found out he was dating another girl and it was serious. I exploded on him, because I was so hurt that he had moved on that fast, through texts.This time he responded. Hed say things like, " I never wanted to hurt you," " I always told you that you and i needed some time away from eachother to see if we really had something and thats what this is," and " I could be happily ever after with this other girl and not even thinking about you..but i am."
WHAT THE HELL. I dont understand this guys brain!!! Please tell me what guys mean when they say shit like this cuz it drove me insane!!! Moving foward, he broke up with his girl, and asked me to lunch to try and recouncile our relationship. I agreed to meet him. Over lunch hed say things like, " I cant even look at myself in the mirror after how I treated you," "I would give anything to go back and start over with you,"and " I will never hurt you again I will be there for you however long it takes you to forgive me."
Although VERY HESITANT, we started things again. It began as a weekend casual relationship and grew from there. My feelings came back more and more over the next 6 months. I would accuse him of leading me on, because in my mind thats what he had done for year and we would fight about it. Finally one day after a fight he said, " I dont think I can ever be your friend or your boyfriend because you will never forgive me for what I did," and he said "You and I will never be what you want us to."
I got really upset and mad that he was leaving me again. He responded with," I still care about you so much and thats why I have to do this." We havn't talked since.
Throughout the 3 years when we would fight about the status of our realtionship he would say things like," I think maybe we are better as friends." I would say," look me in the eyes and tell me that," and he never could. Id always ask if he cared about me more then a friend hed always say yes and when I asked if he ever wanted a relationship with me hed say," maybe one day."
I dont know..Im confused. He could never say no, and thats all I was waiting for. He always addressed us as together and would talk about "our breakup." I cant move on because I am so damn confused!!!
Guys what do u think? Can a guy really feed me all this b.s to secure a friend w benefits?? Is he really confused or scared to commit??? did he ever care about me how I did him???? what does all this shit mean!! and why cant it be black and white and not grey.
I need to know the guy lingo so I can stop obsessing about what eveyr statement meant for the last 3 years!!! As it stands now we havent talked in 3 months and I am going crazy...sorry so long...please give me some opinions...hurtful or not. I am ready to hear the truth.