boyfriends email to the ex

[Naive]

So my boyfriend is out of town for 2 weeks and a couple of days ago we were chatting on msn. Suddenly he got all down and explained to me that his ex sent him a message asking how he was.
Now this ex, I know she meant a hell of alot to him but he had to move away from her last year. He started up a new life in our city and invited her down to live with him but in this time she had gotten a new boyfriend and they stopped talking, I know it hurt him bad. I'd always suspected that he had somewhat of a soft spot for her no matter how much he said he hated her but she was the first girl he'd ever really loved and that was in the past and we'd started a great new relationship so I wasn't worried.

He got really upset about her trying to chat to him. I talked him through it and said either ignore her or just chat, if she's so happy with her new boyfriend and knows we're happy together then she might just want to make sure theres no bad feelings. He said he just ignored her and seemed happier so the subject went away.

Anyway, last night we were on msn again and he asked me to email him something from my hotmail. I rarely use my hotmail for emailling so i absent mindedly started typing my email, everything autocompletes and saves passwords on my laptop and logged in. i went to "my" sent box and accidentally realised i'd logged in my boyfriends email, no probs, we trust eachother with password so i went to log out when i saw a sent email to his ex ...

I was hoping it was just an email telling her he didn't want to speak to her or something but curiousity got the better of me and i opened it ... no, it was an email saying they could have had everything and asking why she didn't want him. The part that cut hardest was when he said 'I have a girlfriend in this city but i'm happy to give her up cos i love you'.

I went mental and told him it was over. Straight away he apologized over and over, since I found the email he's done nothing but grovel, text me, email me, call me constantly about how it was an awful thing to do and he was just in the wrong state of mind, that he was freaking out when feelings hit him again but he instantly regretted sending the email once he realised what he had with me.
He even went as far as to say 'true she did mean a damn lot to me but I want you to be the woman I spend the rest of my life with and i'm gonna fight to keep you'.
He blocked her from his email and msn but also changed his email password which upset me a bit.

So what do I do? He's been really persistant at showing me how sorry he is - probably more than I've ever seen him care and it's not like he actually cheated but he was still in the wrong. We're speaking at the moment and i'm finding it hard to be angry with how loving he's being but everytime I think of those words 'i'd be happy to give her up for you' I just don't know if there's any future for us.

[lahnnabell]

I'm sorry Looks like the damage is done. The words were clear as day. He would have easily given you up to get back with this chick. If he really wanted you in his life he wouldn't have said such things to this ex of his. The only reason he is groveling now is probably because she turned him down and he doesn't want to be alone. This would destroy my trust and confidence in my boyfriend and relationship. There's no going back now.

[Asip4u]

There is a chance that he was just lying to her to see if she would take him back. Some guys do this all the time and it doesn't mean he would truly leave you to be with her..not unless he's that stupid of course. My guess is you'll find out soon enough.

[lahnnabell]

Judging from how upset he got when this girl tried to initiate casual contact, I think he was trying to get back together with her. Either way, I'd have no reason to trust this guy anymore if it were me. That alone will kill this relationship.

[VincenzoG91]

He isn't sorry about the email, he is just sorry that he got caught. Trust your first reaction and dump him.

[cmacattack1]

The groveling, begging and overattention should be signs enough that he is emotional distraught, unable to handle these feelings, afraid of HIMSELF losing something important and has no regard for how you are feeling. I mean the more he does this, the worse you feel right?

Time for some time apart, letting him know you need to be on your own to sort out your feelings while he sorts out his and that he should respect this. Don't forget to tell him the more he tries to, the worse things are going to be. See where you are in a few months. Better to do things now before you get dragged through the mud down the road.

[Gigabitch]

He isn't sorry about the email, he is just sorry that he got caught. Trust your first reaction and dump him.

Times two. I would leave him in a heartbeat.

[mel2208]

My trust in him would be zero!! i couldnt trust him again after that..doesnt matter how many times he aplogises at the end of the day he wrote them words, so he must of meant it.. Id dump him..You deserve better..someone who will worship the ground YOU walk on!! good luck in what ever you do

[Jas_mine]

Ouch! Sorry but it's crystal clear, please don't kid yourself otherwise - can you honesty be with somebody who is openly pining for his ex, somebody who would drop you in a second if she gave him the green light? Where's your self-esteem at? Seems like you are his back-up, he can't have her so he will just make do with you, you don't deserve to be second best. Thank your lucky stars you caught sight of that email and just walk no matter how much he grovels.