A guy kissed me, twice, but I'm confused. Would someone kiss u just for the fun of it

[lost7891]

Okay so I got to know this guy around 5 months ago. But just recently we started hanging out. Before this we only met a few times but we do IM a lot.

Then one day we went out to just walk around the city just for fun, taking pictures. It started out fine like we're just a couple of friends hanging out having fun then later we went to a nice park. Hung out there abit and walked around until we found this big wooden swing. Lol. We sat on it and then talked about ourselves, and then he asked me if I've had a boyfriend and i said no. He doesn't believe me and we kept arguing about it. Lol.

And he started to get touchy-feely with me. And then ask me to get on his back for a piggy back ride. Lol. So yeah i did. =P He carried me around telling me how "lightweight" I was. Haha. Then we sat down again and had another session of talking. And he asked, "So really... u've never had a boyfriend? U've never kissed a guy?" And I replied yes. Then another long arguing session again. Lol. And he said, "Oh come one don't lie just tell me. What's the "naughtiest" thing u've ever done with a guy?" And I said none. And we laughed and then he said, "Come on I know u're lying. Okay I admit i've done some pretty "naughty" stuff. Okay now u admit." And it goes on and on.

And then he asked me what do I think if someone wants to be with you but with no strings attached, something like that. Like and open relationship I guess?

And then I told him that I've had some bad experience in these kinds of things where the guys I met always play with my heart, as in they pretend or they acted like they like me, lead me on and then they just leave me. Something like that. And then we talked and talked.

Then he finally said, what if some guy just walked towards u and said he wants to kiss you? And i said, "Well, if I like him too, then maybe i'll kiss him." And then he said "What if i say I want to kiss you?" And being extremely super super shy that I am. I started to blush and look down and said, "I dunno". I really want to kiss him actually. And he smiled and said "No really, what if I want to kiss you now here". I just went speechless (very stupid i know T__T).

And then finally he said something like this, not exactly but something like this, "Okay okay. Let's just make this like an experience. Since u said u've never kissed a guy." And I replied stupidly like a 13 year-old, "But I dont know how". Hahhaha. Okay if you must know, I'm 22 and he's 21. T___T

Then he said, "I'll show you. Come on. Close your eyes." And I did and he kissed me. And then I backed off because I was too nervous and shy and plus there were some people around and i was too shy. And he said, "There, it wasn't that hard" And then he said, "Hey I hope wont think anything of me or judge me." Maybe it was because I mentioned about how I've been treated by the guys I mentioned earlier.

Then we walked out and went for a drink. On the way, in the car he kept asking me if I was cool, about the kiss. And I said yeah I was, why wouldn't I be.

We went this small restaurant and had a very nice conversation,and he mentioned about going out with me again next time like taking me to karaoke. He told me about the karaoke places he knows around the city. And then he mentioned his ex, he said that he went to this particular karaoke place for their first date. And he mentioned that he hates her now blablabla.

After that I drove him home. And in the car, he still kept asking me whether I'm okay or am I cool with it. Like he's worried or something I guess. Before he got out. He hugged me and kissed me again. This time he french kissed me. And then we said goodbye and hugged again. He left some of his stuff in my car and told me to just take care of it and he'll take it back the next time we meet.

Sorry I know it's a pretty long post. And my English isn't that good. =\

Okay now. Does he like me? What's up with the kiss?
I mean I kinda like him actually, since before we hung out that day. =P
And the first kiss he said it was just for my experience. But if I didn't like him in the first place, I wouldn't have kissed him regardless of any reason. But I did like him so that's why I still let him kiss me the first time even though he said it like the kiss wasn't suppose to mean anything. And so yeah since that moment I kept reminding myself that, okay that kiss doesn't mean anything, he does not like me, we're just friends, blablabla. But then, he kissed me the second time. Why would he do that?
Oh and he hasnt text or call me. Except for the usual IM session to asked me to transfer the photos we took. I'm confused. Or am I really that stupid and naive?

BTW, where going out again this weekend for some clubbing event, if that matters. And he had asked me a week before this happened.

[Jas_mine]

I don't know, guess you should just go with the flow. But just be wary, the whole open relationship and the no-strings attached business that he quizzed you about sounds like he could well just want a play-thing, it's possible he's just looking for a bit of fun, nothing too heavy, and if you want something more exclusive then he may not be the dude for you.

[lost7891]

Hmm well I guess I should just wait till this weekend and see how it goes maybe. Or should I start asking him about what happened that evening? Like to clarify things?

[vashti]

What needs clarifying? He kissed you after he asked how you felt about no-strings-attached arrangements.

It was just a kiss.

[lost7891]

Yeah he did but, I did not say that I agree on it or I'm okay with it.

Oh well, whatever, FML. *sigh

[vashti]

That's not the way it works. Not being okay with a behavior doesn't mean a thing when you engage in it anyway. Your behavior has to MATCH your words.

Anyway, what's the big deal? it was just a kiss - it's not like you had sex with him. I would have thought someone in their 20s would have been a bit curious by now....

[lost7891]

Of course I am curious, I'm 22 and never been with a guy. T__T

And I'm actually quite okay with no strings attached since my whole life I've never been in a relationship, the thought of being in one kinda scare me because I'm afraid I cant do what always did like being social and having the freedom. I;'ve seen my friends suffer and having trouble with their gf/bf, being controlled and stuff. I want the feeling of having someone to care for me or to be with a guy but at the same time I still want to do what I;'m able to do now as a single person.

And yeah I might have said to him that I may not agree with the idea of having no strings attached. That's because I like him and I assumed that he did not like the idea, and maybe he was just testing me to see whether I never had a bf because I always fool around with other guys, like friends with benefit, that kind of stuff (which is not true).

IF he does want no strings attached kind of relationship, how do i let him know that i'm actually okay with it?

[starbuck]

I don't think you should go for a no-strings-attached necessarily because you're afraid of being in a committed one. You may end up falling for him and feeling hurt and used. I would be very careful here, especially since you have no relationship experience. It sounds like you're rationalizing to yourself that you'll accept whatever he wants to give you.

Make sure you're being honest about what you want. It's easy to say you'd like a friends with benefits relationship, but if I read between the lines in your posts, I feel like you're a woman who needs to feel like she's cared about. A FWB relationship is not going to give you that kind of security.