To give or not to give

[Jewels]

Ok so here it goes. . .I'm in very serious relationship and in love. We've been together for over 3 years and plan on getting married someday. We want to make sure we are financially ready as well as emotionally. . .but there is one argument that we seem to keep having. He wants me to give him oral sex and i dont LIKE to do it. Don't get me wrong I've done it before, but i really dont like to. . . .his argument is that sex is good, but oral is SOOO much better. . .We have even been in the middle of the dead and he asks me to do it and I get mad and it just ruins the moment and neither of us gets anything out of it. So what do you guys think? Should this be something every gf/wife does for her bf/husbands?

[ftm]

Does he go down on you?

I used to not be crazy about giving oral sex to the women I was with, but I eventually learned to love it once I realized how much pleasure it gave them. Now I love to do it. You may find this is the case with you, I don't know

You will be hard-pressed to find a man who does not love to get oral. I was once with a woman who hated giving it, so I stopped asking, and I pretended I was fine with it. But I can't say I didn't desperately want it. And, frankly, the sex was lacking for it.

In answer to your last question: Yes, I think that men AND women should be sexually generous with their partners and do things that please them. If he goes down on you, you should definitely be returning the favor if it's a priority for him. If he DOESN'T go down on you, then I think there's definitely room for negotiation on your part.

[c0nfused]

does he give you oral? if he does im not sure why you cant cant please him and return the favor. if he knew from the beginning you didnt like to give oral and stayed anyway hes an idiot. he shouldve found someone he was sexually compatible with because it doesnt seem like you two are on the same page. oral to me is a natural part of sex i cant imagine being with someone who wouldnt do it.

[the_robot]

I don't think you should do anything you don't want to.

[Jewels]

He does give me oral and I do return the favor, but the issue at times is how OFTEN I do it. I enjoy oral, but not as much as actual sex. . . so I guess I don't understand how important it is for guys in general to recieve oral sex. He says it's better and he will put up with me not doing it, but he prefer me doing it because that's the only thing that our sex life lacks. I'm sure every guy would like it on a regular basis, but how often would be ok. . .without it being too little? And not that I HATE doing it, but I just rather not at times.

[ftm]

Could you clarify: He's saying he prefers you giving him oral to the two of you having actual intercourse? Or is he saying that intercourse is BETTER for him when you have given him oral?

If he prefers you pleasing him to the two of you pleasing each-other, that's someone you need to seriously think about before proceeding down the road of this relationship, because that may not be the type of relationship you are looking for.

Now, if my LATTER interpretation is the correct one... Well, I have to say there's no right answer to how much one person needs top give or the other. Sex is different for everyone. For me, oral sex (both given and received) is an important part of any lovemaking session. That's just me. That's how I like it. But what's right for one person may not be right for the other. You'll have to find what rhythm is right in your own relationship.

[Jewels]

ftm: It was your second interpretation. hmm. . .well I guess it is pretty important in a relationship to be sexually satisfied. I just find it hard to WANT to do it. I guess it feels a little "wrong" but thanks for the advice! I guess I just needed to hear it from others that it's not something "bad" or vulgar if you want to satisfy the person you love. Plus makes the relationship and lovemaking better.

[xxazurexx]

I'd rather be a woman giving a man 'oral', than a man giving a woman 'oral'........lols

You like it and he does it to you, but you don't like doing it to him?? I kinda think that is selfish on your part....:|

[YSC]

A man not liking oral is probably a rare thing. I don't see why it's bad if he goes down on you.

I read these posts and somehow relate to some of them...
In this case, idk if I'm bad at it but my girlfriend doesn't really let me go down on her lol, she says it tickles. She has no problem going down on me but most of the time she just wants to skip it all and get right to business lol.

[siobhan123]

I understand you 100%
I am the same as you. I dont like giving oral sex, but i do it to please my boyfriend because he pleases me. I just wish he didnt want me to go down on him every single time! x

[BubbleFreak]

This shouldn't be a decision based on pressure. It is really up to you whether or not you want to pleasure your partner in such a way, and up to your partner whether or not he is OK with whatever decision you make. Your partner can also do a few things to make oral more pleasant for you (depending on what you dislike about it exactly). He can trim his pubes, shower, tell you what feels good, eat a good diet so his load tastes better, etc...

[the_robot]

He can trim his pubes, shower, tell you what feels good, eat a good diet so his load tastes better, etc...

I would hope every single person who intends to have sex has showers or baths to clean himself at least every day...

[Jas_mine]

He hasn't been getting any for like over three years? Wow, the guy is patient - just give him some already!

Seriously though, I can understand that you feel uncomfortable and maybe rather slutty but this really isn't the case - you are in a secure and stable relationship. You need to be emotionally and physically satisfied in a relationship, it is important to have your needs met and what not, what I find worrying is that you don't actually feel the need to please him, you have been trying to get away with it for as long as you can - your mentality is a little wrong, you should never do anything you don't want to, never be forced or coerced into doing something you don't fancy doing, thing is you should actually want to satisfy him, like willingly, it should make you happy that he is content.

[asdfg789]

. I guess it feels a little "wrong" .

can you help to clarify the statement ?

r u having some kind of hangup about sucking your guy ? like its something only "dirty" girls do ?

if u r i'm sure many ladies here can set you straight on that

[Jewels]

No he gets it, and has gotten it, but it's not too often. Yes, I know I'm being selfish a little. I guess I needed to hear from a few people (other than him) that like asdfg789 says i felt like this is something only "dirty" girls do. But thanks so much for your input guys it really helped.