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Thread: i have a question for the fellas

  1. #1
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    i have a question for the fellas

    (iM ConFuSEd)is it possible that a man in this case a young man in his mid 20's can be a girls friend for 3 years and not establish a relationship with her even though he has liked her for the full 3 years but was just waiting for her to say something, because i have a friend who has been hinting about it on the low forever but he never just balls up ands askes me out but then when im dating somebody he's always talking about my boyfriends like he's jealous but he says he's just looking out for me?? somebody please tell me wat to do because if i ask him im going to feel stupid if he turns me down and i dont wanna mess up the friendship if thats all it is.

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by marshawna View Post
    (iM ConFuSEd)is it possible that a man in this case a young man in his mid 20's can be a girls friend for 3 years and not establish a relationship with her
    some questions :
    1. do u know what is he like with other girls ? does he have many or few female friends ? has he been in relationships with other girls ?
    2. beyond this 'shyness' with you, is he timid in other ways? at work? in social settings ?

    If he is experienced and has had other relationships, he probably prefers to stay as friends.
    If he is inexperienced and doesn't know how to take the first step, you may have to guide him along.
    If he is simply a very timid person, ask yourself if you can accept this quality. If yes, u have to initiate and see how things go !

    My 0.02

  3. #3
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    After 3 years I'd have long grown impatient, with a guy I suspected liked me as more and yet who hadn't had the balls to make advances on me.
    I like aggressive guys who know what they want and will go for what they want.....not some fairy who tip toes around and keeps me 'second' guessing.

    After 3 years I don't feel that he would or should be still shy in your company.

    I'm gonna go with 'likes you, but not in 'that' way. I feel any 'normal' guy wouldn't wait this long, something would have given by now and if he liked you as more.

  4. #4
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    this is possible, yes.

    As.. er.. asdf said.. how is he with other girls/relationships? And are you even interested in a guy who is that timid? If so, nothing wrong with asking him. Or if you don't want to do that, just see what happens if you hang out more.

  5. #5
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    thanx.. yeah asdfgh he is kinda shy he dosent hang around girls that much i think he only had 1 girlfriend since weve been friends and he didnt even go out with her until i was already dating somebody so thats possible that he is just timid..but yeah i do like aggressive guys so even if he hinted that he wanted more than just a friendship with me i never showed any interest because i need somebody whos straight up with me and dosent beat around the bush..but where gonna spend the day together today this is his chance to let me know whats up or were forever just gonna be friends..thanx for the advice everybody
    Last edited by marshawna; 18-04-10 at 04:18 AM.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by marshawna View Post
    thanx.. yeah asdfgh he is kinda shy he dosent hang around girls that much i think he only had 1 girlfriend since weve been friends and he didnt even go out with her until i was already dating somebody so thats possible that he is just timid..but yeah i do like aggressive guys so even if he hinted that he wanted more than just a friendship with me i never showed any interest because i need somebody whos straight up with me and dosent beat around the bush..but where gonna spend the day together today this is his chance to let me know whats up or were forever just gonna be friends..thanx for the advice everybody
    This is exactly why we tell guys not to stay in the friend zone when they like a girl.. they're shy, and they do it under the guise of slowly making her like them. And then the girl picks one arbitrary day for him to speak up or be damned? This is of course totally within your rights... But if this guy has been crushing on you this whole time, I kinda feel sorry for him. At least give him a hint or something, would 'ya?
    Last edited by Tiay; 18-04-10 at 06:27 AM.

  7. #7
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    u shouldnt feel bad

    he is a grown man..he knows that i had feelings for him when we first met but he didnt act on it so yes i'am in friend mode with him..he is about to be 24 and im not gonna be waiting on the sidelines anymore for anything women shouldnt do that.im not eager to be with somebody who is still deciding if he wants to be with me or not..i just needed to hear other peoples oppniions about my situation but at the end of the day it is my decision maybe in france the men are more sensitive but in america we women have to do things a little differenty and keep it moving..thanx for the comment..

  8. #8
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    It seems like you've got your mind pretty made up. I'm not entirely sure what you're asking. If you're giving him the perception he's in the "friend zone" with you, and you've told him you had feelings for him when you first met, I don't think you should be expecting him to make a move. Obviously it's a frustrating circumstance to be in, but I think the ball's in your court. You also said you don't want to ask him out because if he says no, you'll feel like you're ruining the friendship. I'd say he's in the exact same boat, especially if you treat him like he's in the friend zone. If you want to be with him, throw the kid a line.. I'm not saying you should be the one to make the move, but it seems like you really don't give him any indication that you're interested in being anything more than friends with him, and I don't think he's going to make a move in that case.

  9. #9
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    Go with your heart

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