What does he want? I'm so confused...

[nikkib2]

I will make a long story short by saying that over 2 years ago, I was in what was supposed to be a casual relationship with a man. The first time we had sex there was an accident with the condom and I got pregnant. I didn't want to abort, he didn't want a child, so he left. He re-entered my life when I was 7 months pregnant. He still had no interest in being a parent but after much discussion he advised me to be patient, not to push and eventually he would get to the place where he was more comfortable with unexpectedly becoming a parent. So I have.

We now live in different states and talk every day. He has visited briefly several times and we have had sex. We have an agreement not to see other people. He helps out with the costs of raising our son if I ask but never volunteers. He tells me that I'm beautiful, smart and sexy and would love to spend more time with me but because of family obligations, finances and a hectic work schedule can not be here as frequently as he would like. And he says that he is getting accustomed to the idea of having a son.

I have developed very strong feelings for this man and feel that for some reason he is stringing me along. I just can't figure out why- to what purpose. We haven't seen each other since last September. I really like him but honestly feel like my life is on hold.
I want to date, socialize and have fun like everyone but I can't if the man I care for is not here.

What could be going on in his head? What does he want? He says it's me but his actions don't show it in my opinion.

[xxazurexx]

A man who truly want's you, doesn't go nearly 8 months without seeing you IMO.

Your stuation reminds me a lot of mine, only in mine a child isn't involved and I aint a booty call.

The distance, the fact I hadn't seen him in a year, although he called everyday on phone and still expected me to be FAITHFUL, is the same!

It baffles me too and we both must be mental!

[Olderandwiser49]

Don't be confused. He wants exactly what he has - a female friend (with privileges) who makes herself available on demand, and who makes no demands on him! He got you pregnant, bailed on you, still doesn't want the child or the responsibility a child entails, but he finds you "sexy". You're trying to make chicken salad out of chicken crap. Time for a reality check, and time to move on with your life. Haven't heard from him in six months? My money says he is seeing someone else and is too much of a coward to tell you himself. He's just hoping you will be the one to pull the plug. My third-party opinion is DO IT, and send him down the drain.

[asdfg789]

What could be going on in his head? What does he want? He says it's me but his actions don't show it in my opinion.

He is just stringing you along and will see you when he is between relationships.

For your sake and the sake of your child, you should find someone who will treat you like a partner and hopefully be a father figure for your child.