Trying to figure things out

[kc1234]

Before I say anything else, the girl I am "seeing" is a stripper. I have only been in 3 relationships prior to this, the last one was 2 years ago, so whatever game I had is rusty. Ive just been concentrating on work and school. Sure I thought of girls, talked to girls, but for the longest time they werent a priority.

Lets call this girl "Jane." We are both in our early 20s. I met her last year at my birthday party, I had a good time, chatted her up a bit, she gave me a few dances, and that was that. I see her again on a few occasions (buddy of my who is Janes friend brought her along to a few movies). Anyways, she texts me one day with her number and thats where the story really starts.

We texted occasionally, and then on a whim pretty much I ask her if she wants to see a movie with me, which I take her to. Afterwards, I dont see Jane again for about 3 months, but I do text her. To be honest, I never really expected anything from her, and for awhile was even surprised when she texted me back. At this point, I really didnt foresee anything happening between us and was just having fun.

Its only in the last few weeks that things have gotten interesting. I have taken Jane out to a couple movies/bites to eat, and last week after I took her out to dinner she brought me into her apartment and we snuggled and she fell asleep on me because she was super tired. I didnt go for a kiss because I didnt feel it was right at that point, but now am somewhat regretting not going for it.

My buddies are telling me to forget about her, that shes "no good" and that I should have sex with her and then stop seeing her. They however havent actually spent time with her and gotten to know her. She is going to school full time and only works weekends to make ends meet. She is very sweet and funny in person, and has been through a lot and is very down to earth, which I appreciate. Im just not that type of guy anyway. I am what you would call a "nice" guy, I give people the benefit of the doubt. I genuinely do care about this girl, but maybe Im being naive.

I wouldnt say that I trust her quite yet, but I do believe what she is saying. I am still trying to figure her out. The issue is this, she gave one of my buddies a bj (this was a few months before I even knew her) and according to him, maybe a month and a half ago (many weeks before I started actually seeing her) was still hitting him up. They went to a club together and she was hitting on him but he was not interested anymore and told her that I really like her. This is where my distrust of her stems.

Like I said I am still pretty new at all this, and I am maybe being a bit too nervous with going further then hugs and snuggling. I do want to kiss her but there hasnt really been a good time, at least in my mind. I am also unsure whether or not she is just, to put it bluntly, "using" me. I dont think that is the case, because that doesnt fit her personality, and often times she will buy her own meal, tickets, etc. I just cant figure things out!!! I am trying to get to know her better while at the same time trying to figure out if she is genuine. I believe she is, but its all so confusing.

I dont know what to make of the whole situation, I get the sense that I am the first guy who has ever really treated her well. That both her and I are trying to figure each other out (not sure about this though). I want to trust her, but Im not sure if I should. I really like her, but dont want to appear desperate, so Im giving her time. I want to let her know how I feel, but I want to know if this is going anywhere. I am still relatively unexperienced with all this relationship stuff, and I dont really know what I am doing, if I missed a sign or should have done something.

Gah, there, sorry that was long, if you want anything clarified just let me know. I know theres stuff that I probably should add but cant think of at the moment lol.

[kc1234]

I apologize if bumping/double posting is not allowed but I looked in the rules and there wasnt a specific one on the issue. Its been more then 24 hours though so hopefully its ok.

Id appreciate it if I could get some feedback though.

Some more info for you guys is that contact between us during the week is typically very brief and/or nonexistent. I work/go to school and she goes to school during the week. While I am the one who typically makes the contact, ie calling or texting her, she will always respond excitedly, and the few times we have talked during the week its been for an hour at least each time. I know that her not being the initiator of these types of things is typically not a good sign, but hopefully this is a special situation.

She usually works weekend nights so I am usually only able to see her during the day, (yeah I know how that sounds) but I honestly dont mind. Would be nice to see her at night again though. I have been thinking a lot about her and Ive come to the conclusion that she is legit. I know that its a strippers job to make guys think she likes them, but if she were only in it for the money theres guys who are way richer then me. I mean I barely break even most months lol. And like I said she PAYS for her half almost all of the time.

[Olderandwiser49]

I wouldnt say that I trust her quite yet, but I do believe what she is saying. I am still trying to figure her out. The issue is this, she gave one of my buddies a bj (this was a few months before I even knew her) and according to him, maybe a month and a half ago (many weeks before I started actually seeing her) was still hitting him up. They went to a club together and she was hitting on him but he was not interested anymore and told her that I really like her. This is where my distrust of her stems.

Up until this point, I would have told you that the fact that she was a stripper doesn't mean she's bad. Many girls do or have worked their way through school in this manner. After you related this, I'm not so certain a relationship is a good idea. It isn't so much the bj, though it would appear this wasn't an act of love on her or his part. Most girls you might date have probably been sexual with other guys before meeting you. It's the fact that it was with one of your friends, meaning that if you do develop a relationship with her, they will have future social interaction. If you are able to ignore what happened, then you're a far better man than me.

[kc1234]

It bothered me for about 10 minutes after he told me, but I thought about it and it happened before we had even met, so I cant really fault either of them. He has assured me that he has no interest in her at all.