+ Follow This Topic
Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: Do girls find guys who have had more girlfriends more attractive?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    2

    Do girls find guys who have had more girlfriends more attractive?

    Do girls find guys who have had more girlfriends more attractive than guys who have had less? E.G.: A guy who has never had a girlfriend and is over 20 vs. Someone who is the same age and has had seven.

    I couldn't fit it in the title, but the other question is about possibly lying about the number of people you've been with.

    I feel like since I haven't even been with a girl that people will think something is wrong with me. So, my solution when I get my first girlfriend is to lie to her about the number of girlfriends I've had. Not directly, like announcing on a date that I've had X number of girlfriends, but if there is some kind of anecdote that I want to use relating to women I'll add "One of my past girlfriends had this quality." I'll also avoid the question point blank if she asks with "I don't like to talk about my previous relationships," unless she insists, which then I'll say I've had "X number of girlfriends," and I'll be quick to follow up with something similar to "I'm going to the University Florida, I'm majoring in Mechanical Engineering, I have a 3.8 GPA, my shoe size is 13, I love my mom, my favorite food is chicken Alfredo, and my birthday is in February, any other questions?" to get her to laugh and to quit pressing the issue (or any other resume style question).

    The reason for this is I worked somewhere this past summer where I got picked on quite a bit by women for not having had a girlfriend. So I made up a couple of stories about dates I went on and parties I went to (I can lie pretty well). I've never been on a date nor a real party, really. After hearing about this they all quit with the bullying, and actually tried to get me to ask out coworkers and get the numbers of customers! I refused on the basis of the fact I was going to quit and move out of town in 2 and a half weeks, (which was true) but it makes me think: the guy who has women in his life is more attractive to women than the one who doesn't. It is like getting some jobs with no experience. (I need a job to get experience!)

    So, the idea is that I get my story straight beforehand. I'll figure out what an optimal number of girlfriends are, memorize some names, and read some stories about dates and girlfriends I can make my own. I'd basically make a journal I could go back and review so I could make sure that story is consistent.

    I've also been reading a ton of books on relationships, flirting, dating, etc... about one a day for the past week or so, so I know a bunch of cutsy relationship stuff to do to make it look like I've done this before.

    I'm really just deeply afraid that she will think something is "wrong" with me. I'm an atheist, so there is nothing religious in the way. I've been going to college so there's no shortage of possible girlfriends. There's been some trauma in my childhood and I've had the worst bout of acne that I have ever seen (Seriously. The scars are ENORMOUS and turned about 65% of my face permanently red.) that is probably responsible for this happening, and that only adds to the idea that the problem is me.

    So, lying is the solution. What do you think?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Indiana, U.S.
    Posts
    1,766
    I find it isn't important how many relationships anybody has been in. In fact I find its best not to really talk about old relationships. I mean you might tell a funny story about something that happened once but I'm always kinda vague and I usually just say "a friend of mine".

    Rule of thumb...don't lie. If you want her to accept you then you have to show her you. I don't think most women will have a problem with an honest guy who has never had a gf as much as they would mind a guy who never had a gf who lied about it.
    Completely baffled by a backward indication
    That an inspired word will come across your tongue
    Hands moving upward to propel the situation
    Have simply halted
    And now the conversation's done


    I am the EgGmAn

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    105
    Just be honest, and you will attract people that like you for your own qualities rather than some persona you project. Don't you think that's easier and more fulfilling?

    Oh, and to answer your question, personally I'd prefer someone who hasn't had a zillion girlfriends before me.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Brooklyn, NY
    Posts
    1,811
    It's fairly common for people to enter their twenties without ever having had a girlfriend or boyfriend. This question gets asked quite a bit.

    Lying about your past relationships is NOT the solution. You don't want to start a relationship based on lies. If a woman you're dating finds out that you had a "made up" girlfriend, you're going to look ALOT worse than if you had just come clean about your lack of experience.

    My advice would to be to try and find a woman who is similarly inexperienced. She'll probably find it refreshing that she also doesn't have to worry about her lack of experience with you.
    “Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist”--George Carlin

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    45
    Well to be honest, SOME women will find this quality unattractive. But women who do have probably, umm, been around the block one too many times and would only tease you because they are either a) ashamed of their own past or b) insecure about themselves in some other way. I mean I could be wrong but that's how I'd take it. I was actually watching that new show "Baggage" and there was a guy who was handsome, smart, and seemed like an overall good guy. His baggage was that he was a 33 year old virgin and the woman turned him down on the sole basis of that. And I mean his reasons were valid- he said he just hadn't found a woman he'd wanted to spend the rest of his life with and his virginity just became something he wanted to hold onto for now, or something like that. What a dumb woman, lol. But I'm sure she'll find some guy who's been with 50 women out there somewhere who will cheat on her after 3 months, and she'll be right back on the show...

    When you find that girl you really click with, she won't care about your past. In fact, she may even appreciate that she is the first woman you've ever loved, (kissed?) and been with. I've mentioned it in previous posts and I'll mention it here- I think it's VERY attractive for a guy to be over 20 out there who has waited. I mean, I'm over 20 also and a virgin (so we do exist )

    Yeah, like other people have said- lying's a bad idea. There's no need for that. You shouldn't have to lie about ANYTHING to start a relationship off the right way. Doesn't mean you have to tell the person everything right away either though, but don't make up stories and stuff. That just seems like too much work anyway!

    And don't worry about your scars either- everyone has SOMETHING they would like to change about their body. And sometimes it seems worse to the person themselves than to everyone else around them. So no there's nothing "wrong" with you. Just hang in there, you'll find that special girl who likes you for you

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    UK: England
    Posts
    4,570
    A guy who had been around the block with loads of women, would not appeal to me. I'd also be assuming he had slept with them all, even if he hadn't.

    It would tend to make me think he wasn't that fussy and I wouldn't feel that special he had chosen me and if he'd had umpteen women before me.

    I'd feel like just another notch on his belt.

    I wouldn't take this kinda guy seriously.

    Guess it's the same for guys. They don't want a partner to have had loads of different men either.
    OK, some guys would still have sex with her.....but I doubt it's the kinda woman that men are looking for to be the wife.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    2,930
    My boyfriend has only had one serious girlfriend besides myself. Before and in between all that he was interested in just messing around. He was in love with his ex for a long time, and it broke his heart to see them fall apart. He gave up on serious relationships for a while and resorted to playing around and breaking hearts. Till he met me. Sometimes I wonder how I was able to snag such a handsome and caring man. One who is crazy about me. It may seem like he was living the life having a new girl all the time, but he wasn't happy.

    So, it really comes down to how you handle the situation. If you freak out about it, sure, it'll be a big problem. If you take it in stride, and take your time to get to know this other person, it won't seem like such a big deal. At first I was nervous when my guy told me his history with women. I thought, "I'd better take this slow." It made all the difference. We took our time and really formed a strong bond before ever getting very physical.

Similar Threads

  1. Do guys flirt with girls they find unattractive?
    By hardparty in forum Ask a Male Forum
    Replies: 51
    Last Post: 27-05-10, 12:49 PM
  2. I don't find girls my own race attractive
    By Off2College in forum Personal Development Forum
    Replies: 40
    Last Post: 21-09-08, 01:37 PM
  3. girls, in what sense do you find guys attractive?
    By Off2College in forum Ask a Female Forum
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 07-05-08, 08:20 AM
  4. Ok girls... why are guys attractive?
    By Ulf in forum Love Advice forum
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 21-07-05, 04:21 AM
  5. Can you love someone and not find them attractive?
    By Laconic in forum Love Advice forum
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 15-10-04, 01:56 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •