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Thread: dumped by "the one" what did i do?

  1. #1
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    dumped by "the one" what did i do?

    SORRY SO LONG, NOT SURE HOW TO MAKE CLIFFS FOR THIS STORY, WOULD GREATLY APPRETIATE IF YOU READ THOUGH..



    hey everyone, i'm 24 and ive had plenty of gf's in my life, but have never been in love until my last gf. i'm going to get some crap because the relationship only lasted 6weeks and alot of you will say that the love shouldn't have been there yet or whatever.

    Anyway here is my story..
    I met her at a friends party, got her number that night. and hung out with her every single day for 6weeks. after maybe 2weeks in. I knew i had found the one, she was everything i could have ever asked for. from looks to the best personality i could ask for. I was extra cautious not to come off like i was ubsest with this girl, and it's funny cause she would do that instead.
    she would say things that would scare guys away if you didn't really like them alot.

    she was very open, and held nothing back, she was very insecure which i actually liked, cause i am also insecure but didnt show it like she would.

    she would text me all day long, about anything and everything, just showing she was thinking about me, alot of those text were simple "miss you" texts.. she would say things like "how is a guy like you eve rget with a girl like me" and "you got to be a little player" and "your way out of my league" this stuff was over the top, and but really helped my confidence, and showed that she really liked me.

    well one day out of the blue she didnt text me for a full day, this is fine with me, just found it weird since it was the first no contact day since we met. i text her the next day asking what she was doing after work, she said", probably just going to bed, i couldn't sleep last night so i'mm pretty tired."

    so again, no problem, however the next day, i text her and just said "hey babe, how you doing today" didn't get a reply. this was starting to get fishy, she always texted me.

    the following day i asked if she wanted to hangout after work, and she said she had alot of laundry to do.
    at this point i noticed i was the first one texting her the last 3 days. so i held off and waited for her to be the first one to text.
    i waited FOUR days with no text, this was a huge indication that something is not right,
    I gave in and texted her, just said "miss you" got nothing back.
    waited 2 days and called her twice. no answer.

    i then waited 7days and texted her, i wrote something like " hey so obviously your done with me, which really sucks cause i like you alot. but what bugs me the most, is you didnt even tell me what i did. everything was great one day, and you would tell me things like you miss me, and the next day you just completely drop me out of you life, the meanest thing you can do is just ignore me, please just let me know what went wrong, and i wont even reply back.

    and once again, she wouldn't write back.
    I have never been so depressed in my life, i have been sober for a year, as i train in MMA and cant afford a hangover, the last 2 weeks, i have been drunk nearly everynight, only so i could fall asleep. everyone tells me there is nothing that will help me get over it but time,, but its been 16days, and i'm in the worst state of mind since day one. i have lost all motivation in life, i havn't trained since, i havn't been outside, my house is a mess, my dishes are backed up, i have no clean clothes, i just feel lower than low..

    at this point i am so ubsest with an answer, what did i do???

    of course i have been dumped before, but in most cases it's simply because the girl doesnt have feelings like i did for them. this is a very weird case, since she seemed like she liked me more than i liked her.

    and you guys will get on my case for this, but i feel like going to her work and standing by her truck tell she gets off to get my answer, i feel like i deserve to know what went wrong. creep move i know! but i need to know what happened.

    any advise would be appretiated, what could have possibly went wrong?

    usually after being dumped i would look for a quick rebound, and i actually did go on one date last weekend, but it didn't help at all, i have never had the feeling of finding the one, and i have no urge to to date any other girl besides her.. ever..





    Cliffs:
    one day gf would say she couldnt wait to see me again, the next day she drops me out of her life with no explination, wont answer phone calls/texts. trying to figure out what i did..

  2. #2
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    wait...first you gotta confirm that she's alive. People can be dead and can't reply texts.
    2nd, confirm that she still is active with cellphone service. People dont pay bills, they get cut, and dont receive messages.
    If you have confirmed she is alive and has a cellphone working, then she basically figured you're not the right dude.
    I mean, 6 weeks is within the probation period of in-or-out. It is perfectly reasonable to breakup if there is a hint of conflict in 6 weeks.
    However, I don't think it's nice to go completely silent. It's mean.
    I had to go silent one time....and i had a good reason. I met a lady who wanted no-strings sex. I agreed, and was supposed to meet her that night.
    I ended up changing my mind, but didn't know how to tell her. So I went completely silent. She tried to contact me for a whole week.

  3. #3
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    ^^ I agree.

    I know it's hard and it sucks, but sometimes this is the way that relationships go and people discover that sometimes and although there was an initial attraction, there is nothing beyond the attraction and to want to keep the relationship going.
    Usually it's around the 3 month mark...in your case it was 6 weeks, but within 3 months.

    I've had a few relationships like this. Hot off the mark, only to go cold and after a few weeks. It's usually the kind of relationship that starts out this way, that burns out just as quickly

    It's just the way things go sometimes

    Unfair of her to leave you hanging though....guess she never had the bottle to tell you

    Had that done to me once and a long time ago. Guy left after 3 months, never got an explanation as to why.
    Last edited by xxazurexx; 30-04-10 at 07:39 AM.

  4. #4
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    If she had actually been "the one", she wouldn't have dumped you.
    Spammer Spanker

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    [QUOTE=Kaius;582576 then she basically figured you're not the right dude.
    However, I don't think it's nice to go completely silent. It's mean.
    .[/QUOTE]

    ya, and that has happened plenty of times, where you can sense she's just not diggin me like i'm diggin her, but this was different as she would right things, like " i miss you so much , cant wait to see you again, just 2 days prior to getting cut off completely, with absolutely nothing that could have changed her mind.

    and yes i have also done the same thing, where i just ignore texts. but like i said, i am crushed that she dumped me, but i find that not knowing the reason why, is489574328594750982574897543x bigger of a problem, i have to know what i did!

  6. #6
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    ^^Nobody usually would go from 'I miss you so much' and 'Can't wait to see you again', to just coldly dumping you. It's rare that 'feelings' cool off and that quickly.
    If they were strong or true feelings they had in the first place that is.

    Either this girl has been stringing you along, some ex boyfriend has shown back up in her life, or something has happened to her.
    People don't tend to lose an interest 'that' quickly, if it was a 'real' interest.
    Last edited by xxazurexx; 30-04-10 at 08:03 AM.

  7. #7
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    If she was insecure and very open about it, she probably had some emotional issues and that's why she was so dramatic with the texts and the things she said to you. I'm not saying she didn't like you, but her feelings were probably exaggerated because she was happier that someone gave her attention, rather than happy she was with you. I think that could explain why she seemed to have an easy time dumping you - and it would show that it probably wasn't your fault, it was her's.

    And no offense, but you can't really get to know someone THAT well in six weeks, though I don't doubt you had very strong feelings for her. Just be glad this didn't happen after a year. And also, making yourself take care of the house, laundry will make you feel better; if you are going to drink, make a couple drinks and then clean - it makes it more fun

  8. #8
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    "A break up is like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself trying to fix it.” - Anon

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    very true! i'm just trying to figure out how the **** the mirror broke in the first place.

  10. #10
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    She played you.

    No shame in it, at all.

    Just be sure to not let it happen again.

  11. #11
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    she musta been really smooth cus she made you think she's "the one' in six weeks. wow... be lucky you didnt give her money...did you?

  12. #12
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    I agree with loveminuszero. This girl was probably exaggerating with the texts because she enjoyed the attention...it made her feel good and when another guy showed up she moved on. What a sociopath if that's the case. Its really messed up she didn't show any compassion for you in the end but good riddance. Know that if this girl is what I'm thinking she is, she wont ever be happy...

    Clean yourself up, get yourself out there and meet someone new. This girl is most likely not going to talk to you again so the sooner you can forget about her the better.

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