I got played, how can I deal?

[candle23]

I was with this guy Brian for 3 months, he took my virginity, told me he wanted to commit to me but i did not want to so soon since he's leaving the country in a few months( he's in the army). We continued to see each other, he was the only guy i was with during this time frame and from what i know, he wasn't seeing anyone else.

Things seemed to be going well, i had developed feelings for him but all of a sudden he canceled our plans to meet one day and stopped calling me after that. I called him many times but he did not pick up. Finally after a week he texted me that he doesn't want to see me anymore because I won't commit to him. I called him many times afterwards, asking for a chance to explain but he refuses to pick up. Today I got a message from a guy claiming to be Brian's friend, saying Brian often showed off my texts/pictures in a laughing manner. He also said that he's available if I ever need to talk. I called the guy, told him that it seems Brian is trying to pass me off to his friend now like i'm a leftover. He denied it but that's what it seems like to me. At this point I was pretty hurt by Brian's actions and decided to drive to his place to talk to him in person and basically tell him to stop passing my number to his friends. His car wasn't there, I knocked at his door but no one answered so I came back.

I feel like this guy used me and threw me away when he had his fun, now he wants his friends to have a piece of me too so he's passing them my number. I've called him but he refuses to pick up. What do I do now? Should I just let it go and ignore messages from his "friends" and just move on? I'm really wounded by the way I've been treated and want to see Brian atleast once in person and tell him to stop hurting me, just to get things off my chest and get some closure. He has hurt me pretty bad, am I supposed to just take it and move on? What's the best thing I can do at this point, please advice.

Edit: I don't know if it matters but I'll let you guys know our ages, I'm 26 and he's 31. I'm East Indain and he's Caucasian. Maybe I was a fetish to him..

[lahnnabell]

Sounds like he wanted an easy fling before he leaves for the army. I'm sure you're not the first girl he's done this to. Sorry, but he's a douche and you'll move on faster if you just start ignoring him and his friends. May want to change your number too.

Note: You give it up AFTER you get committed.

[tutlebeach]

Edit: I don't know if it matters but I'll let you guys know our ages, I'm 26 and he's 31. I'm East Indain and he's Caucasian. Maybe I was a fetish to him..

I hate to see you start to belittle yourself and think it was you who did something wrong then go even farther too think you were just some "fetish". You were right to want to wait before you fully committed and thats him being purely an asshole by using that as an excuses to break up. Even if you choose to commit in my personal oppinion it would still go the same way cause of the type of person he is by his actions he has done. Forget him. At no point did you make a mistake, hes a minpulative fully walking and talking mistake.

[xxazurexx]

I think you are a very wise girl who easily 'clicked' and to what was happening here.

Guys talk about their conquests and yeah, their friends will tend to think that if he got a piece of you, then they can easily get a piece of you too and they will try.

Chalk it up to experience and an experience that you will learn from.

Never have sex with a guy, outside of a committment again

[lifeistooshort]

He has definitely played you, but don't take it personally....I am sure you wasn't the first and definitely won't be the last. I would avoid all contact with him and his "friends". Yes, I am sure you are frustrated because you want to know why he has treated you like this....but WHY waste anymore of your valuable time on this complete low life?? As for his friend, trust me, he is only after one thing and it is not your friendship!! Like I said before, don't take it personally and don't waste anymore energy. Hope this helps.

[1337lizard]

Actually you didn't get played at all. And he doesn't appear to be a low life to me. You're the idiot who wasted his time for three months when he tried to commit to you. After he finally got fed up with you playing HIM, he moved on and probably found someone else. And from what it sounds like, he broke things off with you before moving on to another girl even though you two weren't actually dating. This guy seems legit.

As for what his "friend" said, how the frick do you know he's telling the truth? It sounds to me like Brian's "friend" is trying to play you not Brian. And it's unknown how he got your number, whether it was given or he snatched it. And if your friend Brian was showing off your picture, it wasn't to laugh at you, it was to show off the girl he was seeing that he thought was amazing enough to waste three months chasing when he could get any number of girls easily just because he's in the military. So why don't you stop bitching and move on? And leave the poor man alone. He never played you. The next time a guy you like tries to commit to you, you should probably accept instead of throwing wild accusations three months later when he gets fed up.

Ah and one more thing. He might've ended things with you if he was going into a high risk mission or combat zone. Just something to think about.

[lahnnabell]

Actually you didn't get played at all. And he doesn't appear to be a low life to me. You're the idiot who wasted his time for three months when he tried to commit to you. After he finally got fed up with you playing HIM, he moved on and probably found someone else. And from what it sounds like, he broke things off with you before moving on to another girl even though you two weren't actually dating. This guy seems legit.

As for what his "friend" said, how the frick do you know he's telling the truth? It sounds to me like Brian's "friend" is trying to play you not Brian. And it's unknown how he got your number, whether it was given or he snatched it. And if your friend Brian was showing off your picture, it wasn't to laugh at you, it was to show off the girl he was seeing that he thought was amazing enough to waste three months chasing when he could get any number of girls easily just because he's in the military. So why don't you stop bitching and move on? And leave the poor man alone. He never played you. The next time a guy you like tries to commit to you, you should probably accept instead of throwing wild accusations three months later when he gets fed up.

Ah and one more thing. He might've ended things with you if he was going into a high risk mission or combat zone. Just something to think about.

Sorry dude, but a decent guy doesn't hand out your number to his friends after the fact like that. Even if he did felt hurt, what a childish way to deal with it. Guy needs to grow the f*** up. I don't care if he's going on a suicide mission. Boy made the choice of his own accord and it's not her responsibility to coddle him.