Talking About Exes

[Peter Pry]

Bear in mind that you are also coming from a different approach. I remember your views on polyamory. If you are incompatible with monogamy, your point of view may differ from the ones who are. That's because these relationship systems are very different and stand in contrast to each other. The same behaviours that will work for one may damage the other.

Indeed. My surprise is the surprise that there is so little common ground. It seems you're absolutely right about the relationship types being entire systems of social interaction with differences that go deeper than merely number of partners. But I suppose that if we're all happy with our systems then all is well if we live and let live.

[Mish]

Well, damn, Mish. What does that say about me? If this is true, I've been guilty of WAY too much TMI about my relationship in certain forums I could mention.

I see what you are saying Giga. I think that's different. Because we are kind of like a support group. Our job here is to examine and analyze different components of interactions of our members and then share our opinions on how certain things can be improved. So I think revealing personal information to a support group in hopes to better your self development is different to revealing random bits of private information to random people or ones who may be affected in a negative way by it.

I see this is not a clear cut issue because it's just as easy to show examples where this is undesirable as examples where this can be beneficial. So I guess the real winner here is the intuition and personal judgment.

[IndiReloaded]

I see what you are saying Giga. I think that's different. Because we are kind of like a support group. Our job here is to examine and analyze different components of interactions of our members and then share our opinions on how certain things can be improved. So I think revealing personal information to a support group in hopes to better your self development is different to revealing random bits of private information to random people or ones who may be affected in a negative way by it.

I see this is not a clear cut issue because it's just as easy to show examples where this is undesirable as examples where this can be beneficial. So I guess the real winner here is the intuition and personal judgment.

Its different b/c its anonymous. If you choose to share in that way, you'd better be prepared to protect your 'secret identity' from the mindless masses.

[Gigabitch]

Its different b/c its anonymous. If you choose to share in that way, you'd better be prepared to protect your 'secret identity' from the mindless masses.

Guess I'd better keep my Batman outfit on, then.

[vashti]

I am primarily of the "don't ask, don't tell" mind set, and revert to a "needs to know" basis (but only if a person really needs to know - not to satisfy curiosity) . If I had sex with someone, I consider that intimate behavior, and as such, is private. It doesn't matter that it happened in the past - it is still private. I certainly hope my previous partners were decent enough to respect my privacy, and if they weren't, I would consider that an indication that I made a poor choice in partners.

PeterPry - I think you have been Jerry Springer-ized. For a lot of people, sexual intimacy is between two people - not to satisfy the curiosity of subsequent partners .

[Gigabitch]

I agree with Vash. The only way I'd even mention I slept with a particular person is if he had some interaction with my husband. That would only be fair. Otherwise, he doesn't need to know.