Talking to new guy! What now

[sunflwr23]

We've been acting civilized since the whole debacle and things have been going ok in the friends department. Things aren't great but I'm just trying to pretend like things are normal and we are just friends and never had a fling. There are no new guys in the picture. My ex and I have still been talking casually and recently we hung out one night with friends. It was good to see him and we got along great. I still felt there was a spark there. I wasn't sure how I felt anymore after liking someone new but once we were together there was something there for me. I think it was a little awkward for him. He didn't make a move on me. His friends spoke to him earlier in the day and told him not to try to hook up with me or anything. So I wonder if that deterred him or if he really didn't have the intention to or wouldn't have. He called me the next day and we talked for 45 mins just more intensely since you can't talk one on one very well in a group setting. He asked when I would be up there next and said he would plan on stopping and visiting me this summer. I don't know what his intentions are. When I texted him last he responded but didn't keep the conversation going like usually when we talked but maybe he was just busy that night and not wanting to be on the phone texting. I'm just playing it cool like we're just friends and I'm not going to ask him whats going on or tell him how I feel. I just want things to play out naturally and play it going. Waiting sucks though! Oh well I guess I can have fun in the mean time and play the field. I wish I was better at this!! I'm terrible at playing the field and flirting and casually dating.

[davidtorres]

look. you made a mistake by sleeping with him even though u barely knew the guy and you didnt know where it was going. again and again girsl does that. how bout ask him first where is this going before u sleep with a new guy?

[sunflwr23]

I am fine with just us hooking up. There was awhile where I wanted more and I thought he might be interested in more but he said it was just about hooking up for him. Now he won't even do that with me. Last night I pretty much put it on the table I was interested in hooking up and he shut me down. I don't get where things changed from him actively pursuing me and wanting me to come over and hang out to now not even wanting to fool around when the option is provided. Am I not attractive to him anymore? What did I do wrong?

[lahnnabell]

"I have realized I like him a lot but I don't want to be jsut a hook up. Am I? Have I done anything wrong? What should I do from here?

So the other day I don't know what I was doing but I was being kinda clingy I guess when we were hanging out.

He doesn't trust you when you say you're not attached. He became uncomfortable because he felt that you began to NEED to be around him, and he wasn't planning on getting more serious than having you in his bed. Simple. He was right not to want to drag this out anymore. I'm not sure why you want "string-free" sex with this guy; I think you should just move on and find another guy you can be casual with. Any extra work you put into this dead situation is only going to look like you're trying too hard, and that's not what this guy wants. He wants you to simply not care, 'cause he obviously doesn't.

[sunflwr23]

I met him through a friend and they are pretty good friends and I am almost positive they talk about the situation or he has something to them about me. But when I have asked them they've always said he hasn't said anything but last night I was positive she was texting with him on our ride home probably discussing the situation she was kinda blatant in her attempts to text so I couldn't see the screen and I know she was texting him cause I saw his name come up. I am not saying I'm so important that all they talk about is me. But just from the way he's acted a few times and when they have talked I am sure he's mentioned something. 1) it's just embarrassing 2) i just wish I knew what he was saying but I am not close enough to this girl that she would share everything with me. 3) i really think sometimes this guy might actually like her but she definitely isn't interested in him. Oh well I know it's out of my control but I really can't help but seeing him all the freakin time. I managed to go quite awhile without seeing him but it's one of those situations we have to be around each other and unfortunately I make the situations awkward and worse all the time.

[lahnnabell]

You're far too hung up on this situation.