cant get over her...

[peterpandora]

hi everyone, recently my girlfriend of 7 months dumped me. she basically told me that we fought too much and she couldnt take it anymore, that she had been trying so hard and couldnt do it anymore. we only fought once or twice a month and i know some people that fight a lot more. she says she still loves me, but cant take fighting anymore. it seemed like a really split decision kinda thing, but something that shes gonna keep in her head no matter what. i tried hard to get back with her, cards and poetry, and it seemed to be working. then out of the blue she viciously attacked me, saying she didnt love me anymore and wanted me to commit suicide. that is not like her at all. im 17 and shes 15, and i know that her life is gonna go to hell now. she lives on the computer now, her social life existing in chatrooms and such. it seems like shes pushing everyone that loves her away and surrounding herself with hate and lies. she now hates her mom, doesnt like her dad, wont talk to her best friend, and wants me dead. the only people she accepts now are her old friend that backstabbed her, and her ex-bf that she dated only online. why would she trade something in real life with me, for something fake with her ex? i know she doesnt love him, i know she loves me, but i have no clue what to do now. shes making a wall around herself, pushing everyone good away... but i, unlike her parents, wont be there for her forever. i love her so much... what do i do? how can i get back with her?

[reallybored79]

Well Peterpandora it sounds like she's 15 and very young. Not knowing much of what she wants. 15 year olds are having enough problems with their own feelings and growing up. I think the most important thing you can do is first not worry about where she will go if the break up continues. If she really wants you to commit suicide, you have to learn to not care what the hell happens to her. If these were just things she said, perhaps you've been going over the top with the gifts and poetry. Seriously, I know its the hardest thing in the world to do, but absence makes the heart grow fonder. If she's feeling smothered she may lash out at you. If you stop smothering her she'll be like "what happened to peter, I really miss him." This doesn't mean she'll come running back and want you to be her boyfriend again, but it might just mean that she'll start considering it. Once she does contact you again, don't go overboard with the I love you's, don't yell at her, don't critisize her. Just be there for her and let her know that you will continue to be there for her. Then don't be there for her. Be less accesible and if she calls, don't pick up the first time. Call her back 30 minutes later. Make her wonder. I know, no one likes playing games, but you have to look at the way things were as a game. You were both participating in it, now you have to make sure you gain the upper hand. It doesn't mean she'll come back to you, but you will be able to feel more empowered in your life. Perhaps doing this will get you over her, perhaps it will just make the relationship reblossom, or maybe nothing will change at all. Just prepare for the worst and don't hope for anything.

hi everyone, recently my girlfriend of 7 months dumped me. she basically told me that we fought too much and she couldnt take it anymore, that she had been trying so hard and couldnt do it anymore. we only fought once or twice a month and i know some people that fight a lot more. she says she still loves me, but cant take fighting anymore. it seemed like a really split decision kinda thing, but something that shes gonna keep in her head no matter what. i tried hard to get back with her, cards and poetry, and it seemed to be working. then out of the blue she viciously attacked me, saying she didnt love me anymore and wanted me to commit suicide. that is not like her at all. im 17 and shes 15, and i know that her life is gonna go to hell now. she lives on the computer now, her social life existing in chatrooms and such. it seems like shes pushing everyone that loves her away and surrounding herself with hate and lies. she now hates her mom, doesnt like her dad, wont talk to her best friend, and wants me dead. the only people she accepts now are her old friend that backstabbed her, and her ex-bf that she dated only online. why would she trade something in real life with me, for something fake with her ex? i know she doesnt love him, i know she loves me, but i have no clue what to do now. shes making a wall around herself, pushing everyone good away... but i, unlike her parents, wont be there for her forever. i love her so much... what do i do? how can i get back with her?

[kronos51]

I liked everything reallybored said, except the playing games part. That in my opinion is never a good idea. If you say youll be there for her and then play games, it will just **** her up more (even if it does empower you). I say empower yourself by being there for her, but realizing you dont need her. If she has issues and doesnt come to you for help, then there is nothing you can do. If she does come to you for help, then if you want to be there for her do your best to help her, but realize that you can move on with no regrets and you did your best.