hey all, i wanna say before i start, thanks for reading. your advice means the world to me.
In high school i had a crush on my best female friend (also probably my best friend). We had a lot n common in terms of histories and life situations and we proved to just be one of those once or twice in a life time friendships. anyways as time went by i thought about her less and less but still had some feelings for her that never totally went away. this was all back in 2008-2009. come september 2009, she totally stops talking to me. She wont respond to anything I say.
Time goes by and i meet this wonderful beautiful smart funny blue eyed love. We begin dating in november 2009. I fall totally in love with this new girl, and while some old feelings remain for this old girl they are not significant and are dwarfed by my new girlfriend.
About 4 months into the relationship, my old best friend and old crush sends me a message and briefly we become like old time best friends for a few days. She tells me shes been diagnosed with bipolar and depressive disorders and her life is falling apart. I tell her im here for her and her best friend (although im now 1,000 miles away from her, im in miami, shes in NY). During this brief few days of being friends again she asks me if i ever liked her? i said yes, i did. she asks me if i DO, i say no.
Although i said no to her, i still had some old old feelings for her, and i said no because im totally in love with my new girlfriend and i dont want to risk anything with her. (this is all on facebook). Then a few days later she totally stops responding to me again. After she told me what a horribly difficult time she is going through i become very worried about her and really want to know she is ok. I eventually send her a message in desperation to know that shes ok, that i actually do have some residual feelings for her but that i am totally loyal to my new girlfriend, but even that fails, no response.
months go by, then one day my girlfriend decides it would be a good idea to go through all my sent messages on my facebook account since i accidentally stayed logged in. Of course she finds the messages and explodes. My girlfriend admits that she knows that i love her, but thinks that i could still actually still be in love with this old girl (who i never dated or made any move on whatso ever).
What do you all think? i am totally lost, all i can tell my New GF of 6 months that i love her with all my heart and would NOT want to be with the other girl who is a 1,000 miles away. i dont think she believes me. Even in the message she read it says that while i do have feelings for the old girl, i love my new GF and would deffinitely stay loyal and with her. My new GF says shes not sure abotu US anymore and she has to think about it all... what do I do? Is she right to break up with me? Is she wrong since im doing the right thing by being loyal to her even though i might have old feelings for someone?
ANY commentary or advice, or if you just wanna say hey, id be thankful. its really tough right now ... i feel so perplexed by life... or any clarity questions, i know its long