how should i get my ex back?

[shortie7755]

My ex and I were together for 2 and a half years, been best friends for over three years. We were living together for over nine months, but the last month i was there we were technically broken up, i just hadnt moved out yet. He is telling me that he is unhappy with his life and just cant be in a serious relationship right now. He says he hates the person he has become, hates his job, and just needs time to build his self esteem up because right now he has none, he essentially thinks he is worthless. He is 30 yrs old, makes less money now than he did when he is twenty and doesnt feel like his life is where it should be. Also, he was in a serious relationship for 10 yrs before he met me and jumped right into dating me and says he needs to know that he can survive on his own, without that backbone. As far as how he feels about me, he says he cares for me deeply and still loves me, but our relationship doesnt feel full. In the last couple weeks i was living with him, i knew i would be moving out, but it was almost like we went full circle back to being so good. He admits that he feels better about us, but he feels like if he cant sort out his baggage, than we will never work out anyway. He says that he is not shutting the door on us, and does potentially see a future. he assures me he is not looking to test the waters, he just cant have a relationship tight now. I work with him, and he wants to remain friends, but everything i read says thats a bad move. But when i say maybe we shouldnt talk, he gets sad and says he knows he will miss me, he already does. I just dont know what to do..please help

[VincenzoG91]

He doesn't know what he wants to be when he grows up. Stand back and let him figure it out. Give him plenty of space, and only stay in touch if it isn't too painful for either of you. And get on with your own life. Your relationship together has already failed once. It might work better next time, but only if at least one of you has changed.

It's too bad that you work with him, this is a good example of why you shouldn't date people from work.