Advice on this argument with my boyfriend please? :/

[ihannah]

Well, I'm 16 and he's 17.. He has a job which of course is great and i don't mind that! But lately hes been over working, when its not really neccersery. He has exams to revise for so he's had to have time for them also. But he's always been them one of them that let you down a lot.. i'm so used to it now everytime he makes plans with me i think he's going to cancell!

His work even told him he works to much, and he grabs to many opertunitys. I know he has too work , and its money. But he needs time for me too. When ever they cal him when he's got plans with me, he'll cancell me so he can go in, even though the place he works has so many people for standbye. I love the fact he's making money, and i don't have a problem with that. But i'm sick of feeling second to everything with him, it's like an honor to see my own boyfriend! He doesn't book many days off. And when hes not in work i'll get to see him now an then or he has to revise.

Yesturday he invited me to his for a dinner his mom was going to cook, i look forward to seeing his family alsoo.. and i got all ready, told my mom not to do me any tea. was just about to leave the house and he text me saying "babe, i'm sorry work just rang .. " so i said, " and your going to go in?." and he told me yes we had a huge arguement he made me feel bad like he couldn't work at all, but its the fact he just did that too me, i'd never just do that too him.. I cancell so many things to him i just feel like i make so much more effort. (Yes i've let him no all of this) and i'm so sick of being cancelled on, and him getting my hopes up and cancelling things with my girls then having to stay in like usual!

so i told him too not bothering making plans again because im sick of being upset and feeling like this. he told me it was harsh and how much he didnt want to loose me and how much he loved me. but its the same old, im there crying on an average of 3 times a week, and to be quite honest it don't feel to bloody great. i also said to not bother texting me. I've ignored his texting since, so i haven't talked to him all day.. Should i text him? What should i do, i just don't no what to do with all this anymore?
thank youu xx

[girl68]

First of all you shouldn't be settling for a guy who makes little to no time for you. He's walking all over you becasue you have let him in the past.

[xxazurexx]

You know something, you are 16...I never had a boyfriend at that age, not till I was 17 nearly 18, then my troubles began, lol...

I'd just tell him straight up, 'Look sugar, it's like this. If you can't make time for me, then I see no point in carrying on this relationship'...and mean it.

Guys only treat you, as you allow them to treat you.

[lahnnabell]

Agreed. You are young, and that's even more of a reason you shouldn't let this guy take advantage of the situation. You shouldn't have to adjust to his schedule all the time. He's probably going to have to learn the hard way by losing you. If you don't put your foot down effectively, he's not going to take you very seriously.

Relationships are about compromise. It's good to learn this early on, but don't settle for a situation that is clearly making you unhappy.

[sunnysideup]

Perhaps you should get a after school job or keep yourself busy, the guy seems like he has a good head on his shoulders because he's focus and these are the type of guys you want in quality. For some reason after reading your post it screamed Jerry Springer too me the whole way through. Most men that are upper class don't share much time with their partners, that's why they make appointments. Make an appointment with him that you both agree on, for example Saturday night at 8pm with an activity in mind. if you both can do that great.

[lahnnabell]

I don't think "upper class" is the right phrase here. Perhaps a guy that "has priorities" is a better suited one. The fact that this guy has a job that he chooses to slave away at by no means makes him upper class. And I don't see why being "upper class" or having a job directly correlates to how much time one spends with their partner. If you're in a relationship, you do so with the expectation that you will be sharing your time with your partner. If you can't handle that, then you need to be on your own. Or you need to work together to find some sort of balance. This guy has not done that. He's assuming that bailing on his plans for work related issues makes them more valid than if he were to go hang with a friend. Once in a while, sure, but their relationship is now suffering because he can't even keep a set time or date, even if he picks the time and date!